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Clips from 10-Year-Old-Tom - The Spelling Bee is Rigged/Dakota's Dad (S01E01)

"[birds squawking]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Okay, kids, as you know,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"our spelling bee team is heading on to regionals!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"So let's bring them out to show our support."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"First up is... Dakota."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"And Nelson."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Is Mr. B. okay? He seems very worked up."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Give it up for Hector. And Suzie!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"And our team captain..."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Rahul! He ain't no tool!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Rahul's in the house!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- This is for the spelling bee team?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Biggest brain on the block,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"pre-med out the womb. - Okay, Rahul."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Quiet down, I have something I wanna say."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Now, listen, as proud as I am of you guys,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"this year we wanna just have a little bit more diversity"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"on the team. - You can't be serious."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"The team couldn't be more diverse."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Okay, that is true."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"But I'm talking about intellectual diversity."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I just don't think events like these should be reserved"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"just wealthy and smart families."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- So you want dumb kids on the spelling bee team?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- No, not like, super dumb."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Just, like, you know, average dumb."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Like a little sprinkle of dumbness on a regular kid."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Like Tom dumb. - "Tom dumb"?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Oh no, leave me out of this. - Tom, Tom, the path"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"to all Ivy Leagues schools starts here."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I can't imagine I'm gonna go to college."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Your school needs you. They're chanting your name."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Are they? No one's chanting at all."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- We want Tom. - Oh, don't chant, come on."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- We want Tom, we want Tom."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"both: We want Tom. We want Tom."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Yay!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Literally the worst chant I've ever heard."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- ♪ Now as our poor young lungs deflate ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ I'll admit I've gotten older ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Mellowed out, chatting up those I used to hate ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ The feeling that we're lost will always fade ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ I present no explanation ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Can't expect our tired patience ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ To satiate for long ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Therein lies a truth we can sip when we want ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Disciples of the flow, we can float anywhere ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[polite applause]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Welcome to the New Jersey State Regional Spelling Bee."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Spelling bee... time to spell."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"There's a time to spell and there's a time"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"to--to get up there and spell things."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Tom. - Hey, hey, Dakota."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- We got you a gift. - A gift?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- It's from the whole team. - That's incredible."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"What is it, a weird little pin?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- It's got the image of a lion"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"ripping the heart out of a griffin."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"And it says "Death before Dishonor:"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I will die for my team" in Latin."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- That's a little intense, no?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Relax, man, don't take it too literally."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You want me to relax? - Yeah, we won't punch you"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"straight in the mouth if you spell"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"a word wrong or anything. - Punch me in the mouth?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Why are you even talking about stuff like that?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- No, if we lose because of you,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"we're not gonna... murder you."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Why'd you say it like that? - [laughs]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Of course, we're not gonna take Tom out back"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and beat him with a rusty hoe."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[laughs] Where would we get a hoe?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I mean who does that? Murder somebody"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"because they misspelled a word."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[starting bells ringing] - And they're off."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Lou, look at you!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"You are looking good today."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Not as good as your mom"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"with her mouth wrapped around my hey."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I told you last time I'm not crazy about those jokes,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"but I'm doing good. Listen."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Give me $100 on the Knicks taking points."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"And give me $250 on the Yanks just straight up."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You got it. - Hey, I have..."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Okay, is it between me and you?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You want to join in with me and your mom?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- [laughs] All right, do you guys"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"do, like, grade school spelling bee bets"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and shit like that? - Of course I do spelling bees."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I mean, those parents are maniacs."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"We get tons of action on that stuff."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, I love it! Give me ten grand"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"on Shady Oaks Elementary to lose."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Ten grand to lose? That's your school."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I'm not proud of it, but there's a ton of duds"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"this year. Just big duds."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Yeah, that's what your mom said--ooh!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Does anyone love when you do that?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"What's the best way I should react to that?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- All right!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Who's ready to see some little kids spell some shit?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Let's see some I before E except after C, that shit."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Let's go! - All right, Tom,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"don't get nervous."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Don't urinate in your pants."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Tom. - What's that?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Whose hand is that? - Look straight ahead."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Don't make eye contact. Don't turn around."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Mr. B?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I'm gonna discreetly stuff an envelope in your pocket."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I'm not saying it contains the answers,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"but I'm not saying it doesn't."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- What's happening? I don't wanna cheat, Mr. B."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Tom, you have a moral obligation to cheat."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"These other kids have worked hard all year for this."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Rahul's family flew in from Chennai for this-"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Just for this? Are they doing"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"other things while they're here or is that the whole trip?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I don't know, Tom, I didn't ask."
10-Year-Old-Tom
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