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Clips from Cheers - The Mail Goes to Jail (S03E03)

Carla: CHEERS IS FILMED BEFORE A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.

"Carla: CHEERS IS FILMED BEFORE A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE."

Cheers

SO, NORM...

"SO, NORM..."

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ANY LUCK IMPREGNATING VERA?

"ANY LUCK IMPREGNATING VERA?"

Cheers

I MISS THE GOOD OLD DAYS

"I MISS THE GOOD OLD DAYS"

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WHEN PEOPLE ASKED THINGS LIKE,

"WHEN PEOPLE ASKED THINGS LIKE,"

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"HOW ARE THOSE RED SOX DOING?" THINGS LIKE THAT.

""HOW ARE THOSE RED SOX DOING?" THINGS LIKE THAT."

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WELL, EXCUSE ME FOR CARING.

"WELL, EXCUSE ME FOR CARING."

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I'M SORRY, LARRY.

"I'M SORRY, LARRY."

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I'M JUST A LITTLE EDGY.

"I'M JUST A LITTLE EDGY."

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YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND.

"YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND."

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I'VE GONE AN ENTIRE MONTH WITH SEX.

"I'VE GONE AN ENTIRE MONTH WITH SEX."

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YEAH, IT'S ALL RIGHT, NORMIE.

"YEAH, IT'S ALL RIGHT, NORMIE."

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LARRY UNDERSTANDS, DON'T YOU THINK?

"LARRY UNDERSTANDS, DON'T YOU THINK?"

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LOOK, YOU'VE BEEN TRYING FOR QUITE A FEW WEEKS NOW,

"LOOK, YOU'VE BEEN TRYING FOR QUITE A FEW WEEKS NOW,"

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AND YOU HAVE YET TO STRIKE PAY DIRT.

"AND YOU HAVE YET TO STRIKE PAY DIRT."

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CAN I ASK YOU A PERSONAL QUESTION?

"CAN I ASK YOU A PERSONAL QUESTION?"

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HEAVEN FORBID THIS CONVERSATION GET PERSONAL NOW.

"HEAVEN FORBID THIS CONVERSATION GET PERSONAL NOW."

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YOU'VE BEEN TO A FERTILITY SPECIALIST?

"YOU'VE BEEN TO A FERTILITY SPECIALIST?"

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YEAH, ACTUALLY WE HAVE, BUT I DON'T HAVE A LOT OF FAITH IN THIS GUY.

"YEAH, ACTUALLY WE HAVE, BUT I DON'T HAVE A LOT OF FAITH IN THIS GUY."

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HE'S GOT VERA SPRINKLING POWDERED RHINOCEROS HORN

"HE'S GOT VERA SPRINKLING POWDERED RHINOCEROS HORN"

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ON MY CEREAL IN THE MORNING.

"ON MY CEREAL IN THE MORNING."

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DOES IT MAKE YOU FEEL MORE VIRILE, NORMIE?

"DOES IT MAKE YOU FEEL MORE VIRILE, NORMIE?"

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NOT REALLY, BUT EVERY NOW AND THEN,

"NOT REALLY, BUT EVERY NOW AND THEN,"

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I GET THIS URGE TO CHARGE A JEEP.

"I GET THIS URGE TO CHARGE A JEEP."

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* MAKING YOUR WAY IN THE WORLD TODAY *

"* MAKING YOUR WAY IN THE WORLD TODAY *"

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* TAKES EVERYTHING YOU'VE GOT *

"* TAKES EVERYTHING YOU'VE GOT *"

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* TAKING A BREAK FROM ALL YOUR WORRIES *

"* TAKING A BREAK FROM ALL YOUR WORRIES *"

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* SURE WOULD HELP A LOT *

"* SURE WOULD HELP A LOT *"

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* WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO GET AWAY? *

"* WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO GET AWAY? *"

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* SOMETIMES YOU WANNA GO *

"* SOMETIMES YOU WANNA GO *"

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* WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME *

"* WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME *"

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* AND THEY'RE ALWAYS GLAD YOU CAME *

"* AND THEY'RE ALWAYS GLAD YOU CAME *"

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* YOU WANNA BE WHERE YOU CAN SEE *

"* YOU WANNA BE WHERE YOU CAN SEE *"

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* OUR TROUBLES ARE ALL THE SAME *

"* OUR TROUBLES ARE ALL THE SAME *"

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* YOU WANNA BE WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME *

"* YOU WANNA BE WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME *"

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* YOU WANNA GO WHERE PEOPLE KNOW *

"* YOU WANNA GO WHERE PEOPLE KNOW *"

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* PEOPLE ARE ALL THE SAME *

"* PEOPLE ARE ALL THE SAME *"

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* YOU WANNA GO WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME *

"* YOU WANNA GO WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME *"

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GOOD AFTERNOON, EVERYBODY.

"GOOD AFTERNOON, EVERYBODY."

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NORM! NORM! NORM!

"NORM! NORM! NORM!"

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NORMAN.

"NORMAN."

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WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO A BEER, NORMIE?

"WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO A BEER, NORMIE?"

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DADDY WUVS YOU.

"DADDY WUVS YOU."

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YII! IT'S FREEZING IN HERE.

"YII! IT'S FREEZING IN HERE."

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DIDN'T YOU HEAR?

"DIDN'T YOU HEAR?"

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WE'RE GIVING OUR APPLIANCES THE WINTER OFF.

"WE'RE GIVING OUR APPLIANCES THE WINTER OFF."

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THERE'S SOME KIND OF BLOCKAGE IN THE HEATING SYSTEM.

"THERE'S SOME KIND OF BLOCKAGE IN THE HEATING SYSTEM."

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THE FURNACE IS WORKING,

"THE FURNACE IS WORKING,"

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BUT WE'RE NOT GETTING ANY HOT AIR.

"BUT WE'RE NOT GETTING ANY HOT AIR."

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WHAT'S SAMMY GONNA DO ABOUT IT?

"WHAT'S SAMMY GONNA DO ABOUT IT?"

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I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS HELPLESSNESS.

"I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS HELPLESSNESS."

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HOW ABOUT A LITTLE YANKEE INGENUITY HERE?

"HOW ABOUT A LITTLE YANKEE INGENUITY HERE?"

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IF CHEERS WERE BURNING,

"IF CHEERS WERE BURNING,"

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WOULD YOU WAIT FOR SAM TO GET BACK TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT?

"WOULD YOU WAIT FOR SAM TO GET BACK TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT?"

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NO, DIANE, BECAUSE I ALREADY TAUGHT THEM THE FIRE DRILL.

"NO, DIANE, BECAUSE I ALREADY TAUGHT THEM THE FIRE DRILL."

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WE ALL FILE OUT IN AN ORDERLY FASHION

"WE ALL FILE OUT IN AN ORDERLY FASHION"

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AFTER NAILING YOUR HAIR TO THE BAR.

"AFTER NAILING YOUR HAIR TO THE BAR."

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CLIFFORD, WE DON'T USUALLY SEE YOU IN HERE THIS EARLY.

"CLIFFORD, WE DON'T USUALLY SEE YOU IN HERE THIS EARLY."

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UH...I'M SICK, DIANE.

"UH...I'M SICK, DIANE."

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I MUST BE COMING DOWN WITH SOMETHING.

"I MUST BE COMING DOWN WITH SOMETHING."

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I THOUGHT I'D GET SOME COFFEE

"I THOUGHT I'D GET SOME COFFEE"

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BEFORE I FINISHED MY ROUTE.

"BEFORE I FINISHED MY ROUTE."

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NO, CLIFF, A BRANDY. LET ME GET YOU A NICE BRANDY.

"NO, CLIFF, A BRANDY. LET ME GET YOU A NICE BRANDY."

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NO, COACH, I HOPE I'M NEVER THAT ILL.

"NO, COACH, I HOPE I'M NEVER THAT ILL."

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AS LONG AS I'M CARRYING THIS BAG,

"AS LONG AS I'M CARRYING THIS BAG,"

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THERE'S ONE THING THAT WILL NEVER TOUCH THESE LIPS.

"THERE'S ONE THING THAT WILL NEVER TOUCH THESE LIPS."

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YOU MEAN THERE'S SOMETHING THAT WANTS TO?

"YOU MEAN THERE'S SOMETHING THAT WANTS TO?"

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ALCOHOL.

"ALCOHOL."

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I'M ON DUTY, CARLA.

"I'M ON DUTY, CARLA."

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JUST THE COFFEE, PLEASE, COACH.

"JUST THE COFFEE, PLEASE, COACH."

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I CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT FOR YOU.

"I CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT FOR YOU."

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WILL SOMEBODY GO UPSTAIRS TO MELVILLE'S, PLEASE,

"WILL SOMEBODY GO UPSTAIRS TO MELVILLE'S, PLEASE,"

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AND GET THIS MAN A BOWL OF HOT SOUP?

"AND GET THIS MAN A BOWL OF HOT SOUP?"

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WHAT HAPPENED TO THE HEAT?

"WHAT HAPPENED TO THE HEAT?"

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SOME MINOR MALFUNCTION

"SOME MINOR MALFUNCTION"

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THAT NO ONE HERE IS SKILLED ENOUGH

"THAT NO ONE HERE IS SKILLED ENOUGH"

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TO EVEN ATTEMPT TO FIX.

"TO EVEN ATTEMPT TO FIX."

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DIANE, I RESENT THAT.

"DIANE, I RESENT THAT."

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I'M KIND OF A HANDY GUY.

"I'M KIND OF A HANDY GUY."

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I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW JUST THE OTHER DAY,

"I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW JUST THE OTHER DAY,"

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I CHANGED ONE OF THEM, UH...

"I CHANGED ONE OF THEM, UH..."

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WHAT DO YOU CALL THEM?

"WHAT DO YOU CALL THEM?"

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A LIGHT BULB?

"A LIGHT BULB?"

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LIGHT BULB. THERE YOU GO.

"LIGHT BULB. THERE YOU GO."

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WHY DON'T YOU JUST CALL IN SICK?

"WHY DON'T YOU JUST CALL IN SICK?"

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NO. I COULD NEVER DO THAT, DIANE. IT'S A MATTER OF PRINCIPLE WITH ME.

"NO. I COULD NEVER DO THAT, DIANE. IT'S A MATTER OF PRINCIPLE WITH ME."

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I'VE GOT TO BE ON THE VERGE OF DEATH

"I'VE GOT TO BE ON THE VERGE OF DEATH"

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BEFORE I TAKE SICK LEAVE.

"BEFORE I TAKE SICK LEAVE."

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I THOUGHT YOU USED IT ALL UP TO GO TO FLORIDA.

"I THOUGHT YOU USED IT ALL UP TO GO TO FLORIDA."

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YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?

"YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?"

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HERE YOU GO, CLIFFIE.

"HERE YOU GO, CLIFFIE."

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THANK YOU, NORMIE.

"THANK YOU, NORMIE."

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HOW MANY LETTERS YOU GOT LEFT?

"HOW MANY LETTERS YOU GOT LEFT?"

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I DON'T KNOW. SEVEN OR EIGHT.

"I DON'T KNOW. SEVEN OR EIGHT."

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BOY, THIS TASTES GOOD.

"BOY, THIS TASTES GOOD."

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HEY, YOU KNOW SOMETHING? THESE ARE ALL ON MY WAY HOME.

"HEY, YOU KNOW SOMETHING? THESE ARE ALL ON MY WAY HOME."

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LET ME DROP THESE OFF FOR YOU. I GOT TO GO HOME ANYWAY.

"LET ME DROP THESE OFF FOR YOU. I GOT TO GO HOME ANYWAY."

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UH, NO, NORM, YOU'RE NOT TRAINED.

"UH, NO, NORM, YOU'RE NOT TRAINED."

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YOU'RE NOT QUALIFIED.

"YOU'RE NOT QUALIFIED."

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WHAT QUALIFIED?

"WHAT QUALIFIED?"

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YOU DROP THEM IN A SLOT.

"YOU DROP THEM IN A SLOT."

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A CHIMP COULD DO IT.

"A CHIMP COULD DO IT."

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ARE YOU KIDDING? NO WAY.

"ARE YOU KIDDING? NO WAY."

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THEY DID A STUDY AT THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN.

"THEY DID A STUDY AT THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN."

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CHIMPS WERE 32% SLOWER.

"CHIMPS WERE 32% SLOWER."

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OH, YEAH, YEAH, THEY WERE BETTER WITH CUSTOMER RELATIONS

"OH, YEAH, YEAH, THEY WERE BETTER WITH CUSTOMER RELATIONS"

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AND EVERYTHING, BUT...

"AND EVERYTHING, BUT..."

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CLIFFORD,

"CLIFFORD,"

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THE MAN IS OFFERING TO DO YOU A FAVOR,

"THE MAN IS OFFERING TO DO YOU A FAVOR,"

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OUT OF FRIENDSHIP, FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.

"OUT OF FRIENDSHIP, FOR YOUR OWN GOOD."

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SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAVE TWO OPTIONS.

"SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAVE TWO OPTIONS."

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YOU LET ME DELIVER THESE

"YOU LET ME DELIVER THESE"

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OR RUN THE RISK OF NONDELIVERY-LIVERY-LIVERY.

"OR RUN THE RISK OF NONDELIVERY-LIVERY-LIVERY."

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I'LL DROP THESE OFF.

"I'LL DROP THESE OFF."

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THANK YOU, NORMIE.

"THANK YOU, NORMIE."

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JUST REMEMBER, IN THOSE ENVELOPES

"JUST REMEMBER, IN THOSE ENVELOPES"

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ARE THE DREAMS, HOPES, AND FEARS OF A NATION.

"ARE THE DREAMS, HOPES, AND FEARS OF A NATION."

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YEAH, AND SEVERAL CAR WASH ANNOUNCEMENTS.

"YEAH, AND SEVERAL CAR WASH ANNOUNCEMENTS."

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HEY, EVERYBODY.

"HEY, EVERYBODY."

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OH, BOY. HOLY COW, WHAT HAPPENED HERE?

"OH, BOY. HOLY COW, WHAT HAPPENED HERE?"

Cheers

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