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Clips from Welcome To Flatch (2022) - On the Hooky (S01E01)

"Joe's out playing golf and we're both fighting over"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"who gets to do his work for him."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"This is some patriarchy [bleep]."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"We should play hooky too."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"'Cause I'm not gonna let you see the sermon, so..."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"Yeah, no, I don't wanna. Let's play hooky."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"Ladies' day."
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"Don't do that."
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"(indistinct chatter)"
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"-(car beeps) -SHRUB: Oh."
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"Oh, I-I-I didn't touch anything."
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"I don't know why that just did that."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"You gotta really get in there, Shrub."
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"-Okay. -Yeah."
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"-(grunts) -Nice."
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"SHRUB (muffled): Wait, what? Hey, hey, hey, hey, guys."
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"-(laughing) -(car alarm blaring)"
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"Hey! Hey, guys!"
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"Turn it off!"
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"Very funny, guys. Very funny."
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"Traditional hazing."
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"Can't wait to see what you guys did to my sandwich."
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"You don't mess with a man's sandwich."
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"Sometimes, that's all that he has."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"We did try and flush his hat down the toilet, though."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"He just put it right back on."
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"That kid's either all right or all wrong."
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"Still deciding."
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"Kelly!"
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"Kelly, look out!"
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"-(yelps) -Ooh!"
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"(screaming)"
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"-Kelly! -(screaming, groans)"
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"Oh, geez!"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"-(groaning) -Kelly, I am so sorry!"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"Where does it hurt?"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"Shooting pains all up and down."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"And yeah, big deal, I didn't shave my legs,"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"'cause it's not Tuesday--ow!"
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"(stammering) I don't see any marks!"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"-(screams) -Oh, geez!"
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"I didn't touch anything."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"SHRUB: Kelly says she hates drama,"
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"but I one time called her a drama queen,"
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"and she didn't talk to me for two days, so..."
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"do the math."
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"(both grunting)"
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"Oh, um, do you need a wheelchair?"
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"There's no time!"
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"Well, good. Thank you."
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"Okay."
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"(groans)"
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"(phones ringing)"
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"Are you not able to bend?"
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"Just bend your knees to sit down?"
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"-I don't trust them right now. -Your knees?"
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"KELLY: The most serious injuries"
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"are the ones you cannot see."
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"Like, they're called medical mysteries."
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"(deep breath) So, yeah,"
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"there's no visible mark on my leg, yet,"
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"but I feel pain all over."
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"The human body is designed to betray you."
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"Like, this is way more than a bruise, dude."
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"(sighs)"
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"I did not need this today."
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"This will teach Shrub to abandon me"
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"on a Saturday of all days."
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"Okay, just calm down."
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"Have you tried calling him?"
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"Uh, duh! He's in my emergency contacts,"
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"so of course, I've tried calling him."
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"I've texted him."
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"(sighs) I even sent him the poop emoji,"
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"which is our code for [bleep] going down."
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"Nothing. I'm totally alone."
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"No offense."
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"Is there anyone who could come be with you right now,"
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"like maybe your mom or your dad?"
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"I don't want to be a burden. (groans)"
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"Well, it's just that, you know,"
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"I haven't exactly finished my sermon, so..."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"I thought that was you, Father Joe, out in the wild."
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"Don't mean to bother you. Just want to let you know"
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"you seem to be parked in a red zone out there."
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"Ah, geez!"
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"Thanks. I'll go move it."
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"Ugh! Ow! Ah-ha-ha!"
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"Ugh."
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"-Guys givin' you a hard time? -Not really."
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"I can take it."
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"(whispers) Kinda."
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"You just gotta prove yourself."
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"Then they'll leave you alone."
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"I can see that you are an artist, Shrub."
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"SHRUB: Really?"
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"Wait, did you see my wall art by the urinal?"
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"What? No."
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"I saw you vacuum the word "boobs""
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"into that Camry carpet."
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"That is something I can work with."
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"Hell, yeah."
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"But I don't just apprentice anyone."
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"You have to be willing to do the work."
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"Okay."
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"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!"
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"What about the guy that fell"
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"and doesn't have a nose anymore?"
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"-Shh. -Oh, God."
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"-Relax. -I don't like this."
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"I do not like this."
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"Now vacuum the crumbs."
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"Yeah, but I don't see the crumbs."
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"You have to feel them."
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"Oh, my God."
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"Take a deep breath."
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"Long enough to say the word "Linda" in your head."
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"Linda."
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"Yes."
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"-You got this. -Ah!"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
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