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Clips from Single Drunk Female - Pilot (S01E01)

"when I got first chair violin and you got last."
Single Drunk Female
"Out of three violins."
Single Drunk Female
"Why do you keep bringing that up?"
Single Drunk Female
"Okay, look, I just..."
Single Drunk Female
"Everything's not always about you."
Single Drunk Female
"I know things have been rough since your dad passed away."
Single Drunk Female
"I really tried."
Single Drunk Female
"I came to New York to meet you at that restaurant."
Single Drunk Female
"I sat there waiting for you for two hours, eating edamame."
Single Drunk Female
"Like, so much edamame, because"
Single Drunk Female
"I wanted to tell you about this in person."
Single Drunk Female
"I am very sorry about that, honestly."
Single Drunk Female
"‐I was very busy that day. ‐Oh, yeah?"
Single Drunk Female
"‐Doing what? ‐Sorry. You're right."
Single Drunk Female
"I forgot. You're a doctor who saves lives, so your life is"
Single Drunk Female
"‐so much more important ‐Yeah. You know what, ‐All right over here?"
Single Drunk Female
"‐than mine! ‐this is just like you. ‐Hey! What's going on?"
Single Drunk Female
"‐Are we all right? ‐Everything's totally fine."
Single Drunk Female
"I actually have some very important work to do"
Single Drunk Female
"‐and some files and so on and so forth. ‐All right."
Single Drunk Female
"So I'm gonna get to that, and you ladies have a nice evening."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, my God."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Oh, no. Sam. Hey, Sam. Sammy? ‐Oh, wait."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Sammy. Sammy, you can't drive. ‐No, Sam, I've got Lyft credits."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Sam, just, look. ‐Hey, Sam, Sam, just take a Lyft, please."
Single Drunk Female
"I know you hate me. Just let me take you home in the party bus."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Okay? It's right... ‐Yeah, well, I don't know if you can"
Single Drunk Female
"‐call it a party bus if it doesn't have a stripper pole. ‐Sam..."
Single Drunk Female
"‐She's right. ‐(laughs)"
Single Drunk Female
"Hey, Sam, no, no, look. There‐There's no stripper pole,"
Single Drunk Female
"but there‐there is a... there is a disco ball."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Oh, you got one. ‐You love a disco ball."
Single Drunk Female
"Xander is 4.8 stars and he's on his way."
Single Drunk Female
"‐(engine starts) ‐Enough!"
Single Drunk Female
"‐BRIT: Where is she going? ‐FELICIA: Well, at least she's going slow."
Single Drunk Female
"‐(engine revs) ‐(tires squeal)"
Single Drunk Female
"‐No, no, no, no, no, no! ‐Oh!"
Single Drunk Female
"(screaming) Samantha?!"
Single Drunk Female
"‐You guys okay? ‐Yeah. ‐Yeah."
Single Drunk Female
"♪"
Single Drunk Female
"Here she is."
Single Drunk Female
"Thank you."
Single Drunk Female
"(clears throat)"
Single Drunk Female
"‐Samantha, wake up. ‐(gasps) Who?"
Single Drunk Female
"Huh? Oh."
Single Drunk Female
"‐How did you find me? ‐You don't remember"
Single Drunk Female
"calling me last night, scream‐crying?"
Single Drunk Female
"You were in jail, they were never going to let you out,"
Single Drunk Female
"you needed a fried chicken sandwich?"
Single Drunk Female
"Mm‐hmm. Okay. Yeah. I called the call."
Single Drunk Female
"(short chuckle) Must have been really drunk."
Single Drunk Female
"Okay. Yeah, I'll take this one."
Single Drunk Female
"(Samantha sighs)"
Single Drunk Female
"Sweet."
Single Drunk Female
"You run a fine establishment here, sir."
Single Drunk Female
"Thank you, officer."
Single Drunk Female
"So, what‐‐ you try to convert people"
Single Drunk Female
"when they're truly desperate?"
Single Drunk Female
"Mm, it's the best time to do it."
Single Drunk Female
"But if it makes you feel any better,"
Single Drunk Female
"‐I am already regretting my decision. ‐Oh, no, no."
Single Drunk Female
"I'm sorry. Thank you."
Single Drunk Female
"Seriously, uh, you're, like, my last friend on Earth, so..."
Single Drunk Female
"(laughs) I am not your friend."
Single Drunk Female
"Right. Of course not."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Could you be my sponsor? ‐Oh, I don't know."
Single Drunk Female
"I have seven sponsees, but two of them don't call me, so maybe."
Single Drunk Female
"Do you know what a sponsor does?"
Single Drunk Female
"We get coffee and go shopping."
Single Drunk Female
"We get coffee, and we talk about alcoholism."
Single Drunk Female
"You ready to do that?"
Single Drunk Female
"I don't know what that is. (short chuckle)"
Single Drunk Female
"What am I supposed to do?"
Single Drunk Female
"Just try to be a person."
Single Drunk Female
"Brush your teeth, take a shower."
Single Drunk Female
"You make your bed every day."
Single Drunk Female
"Is the make‐your‐bed thing metaphorical,"
Single Drunk Female
"or should I really do that?"
Single Drunk Female
"‐You sure I can't just stay with you? ‐I'm sure."
Single Drunk Female
"‐SAMANTHA: I could sleep in your car. ‐Goodbye."
Single Drunk Female
"(door closes)"
Single Drunk Female
"‐Oh, hello. ‐I know you're upset, Mom."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, I'm just... Sit down."
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah, I'm covered in, like, 50 kinds of urine"
Single Drunk Female
"and every STD right now."
Single Drunk Female
"Okay, don't sit."
Single Drunk Female
"I know you're probably mad."
Single Drunk Female
"I'm not mad. (laughs)"
Single Drunk Female
"I'm done."
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah. No, I know, and I'm sorry,"
Single Drunk Female
"but if you could just let me explain to you what..."
Single Drunk Female
"It's been 24 hours since you left rehab."
Single Drunk Female
"You've already been arrested for drunk driving"
Single Drunk Female
"after totaling my car, so no."
Single Drunk Female
"Okay, so, I'm sitting at the bar, right?"
Single Drunk Female
"‐Oh, God. ‐Dead sober."
Single Drunk Female
"Swear to God I could drive a school bus."
Single Drunk Female
"‐I'm really not. I'm just not. ‐But then Brit"
Single Drunk Female
"‐walks in the door, okay? ‐Yeah?"
Single Drunk Female
"‐And she's wearing a veil on her head, ‐Okay."
Single Drunk Female
"because it's her bachelorette party,"
Single Drunk Female
"‐and she's marrying Joel. ‐I know."
Single Drunk Female
"I'm going to their wedding."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Are you kidding me? ‐No. I've known Brit"
Single Drunk Female
"‐since she was little. ‐Yes, Mother,"
Single Drunk Female
"‐because she was my friend. ‐This isn't about Brit."
Single Drunk Female
"This is about you... growing up."
Single Drunk Female
"So, number one‐‐"
Single Drunk Female
"you're gonna start paying me rent"
Single Drunk Female
"or find another place to live."
Single Drunk Female
"‐I just got out of rehab. ‐Yeah, and I spent"
Single Drunk Female
"a lot of money for that place, money that I was saving"
Single Drunk Female
"for my neck lift, which now I can't have because of you."
Single Drunk Female
"Where would you like me to go?"
Single Drunk Female
"I don't have any money."
Single Drunk Female
"That is what my book group calls"
Single Drunk Female
"not my problem. So, you're gonna get a job,"
Single Drunk Female
"and with that job, you're gonna pay me rent."
Single Drunk Female
"I'm trying that setting boundaries thing."
Single Drunk Female
"I think I'm quite good at it."
Single Drunk Female
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