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Clips from Single Drunk Female - Pilot (S01E01)

"♪"
Single Drunk Female
"What's up?"
Single Drunk Female
"Where is everybody?"
Single Drunk Female
"They're so late."
Single Drunk Female
"That's so unprofessional of them."
Single Drunk Female
"You should talk to them."
Single Drunk Female
"The meeting ended ten minutes ago, Sam."
Single Drunk Female
"‐You're late. ‐(scoffs) What?"
Single Drunk Female
"Someone changed the meeting time and didn't tell me?"
Single Drunk Female
"‐That's messed up. It was probably Austin. ‐Nope."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Nope. ‐That kid sucks."
Single Drunk Female
"He's had it out for me since day one."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Sam. ‐I'm telling you. He's, like, genuinely"
Single Drunk Female
"‐very jealous of me. ‐Sam, you're drunk."
Single Drunk Female
"What?"
Single Drunk Female
"You're a holding a bottle of vodka right in front of me."
Single Drunk Female
"This is water."
Single Drunk Female
"It's water, and honestly..."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Can I smell it? ‐Would it matter?"
Single Drunk Female
"‐Yeah, it actually does matter. ‐Dude, it doesn't matter."
Single Drunk Female
"I could do this job drunk, sober, juggling."
Single Drunk Female
"I mean, come on, you name it, I could do it."
Single Drunk Female
"This is ridiculous."
Single Drunk Female
"We're not winning Pulitzers here, man."
Single Drunk Female
"I don't want to, like, rain on your parade, but, like,"
Single Drunk Female
""Hey, here's ten dogs that look the cast of Gossip Girl"?"
Single Drunk Female
"Sam, what are you doing?"
Single Drunk Female
"What am I doing?!"
Single Drunk Female
"That is an interesting question."
Single Drunk Female
"What are we doing here?"
Single Drunk Female
"We just sit around and friggin' talk to each other"
Single Drunk Female
"‐and wait to die? ‐Listen, here's the good news."
Single Drunk Female
"You don't have to worry about any of this stuff"
Single Drunk Female
"ever again, okay?"
Single Drunk Female
"Because you're fired."
Single Drunk Female
"Fired?"
Single Drunk Female
"(scoffs)"
Single Drunk Female
"You're firing me?"
Single Drunk Female
"‐Yeah. ‐Wow."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Because I am a woman who said something true. ‐No."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, my God. Seriously?"
Single Drunk Female
"I'm gonna find a lawsuit in there. I can guarantee it."
Single Drunk Female
"‐For what? ‐And I'm gonna find it..."
Single Drunk Female
"For you being drunk every day and showing up to work?"
Single Drunk Female
"‐That's why you're fired. ‐You're fired."
Single Drunk Female
"Sam, just get out, please."
Single Drunk Female
"‐I'm not leaving! ‐You..."
Single Drunk Female
"‐You have... ‐This is, this is happening now."
Single Drunk Female
"I'm hanging out."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Sam, I don't want to... Okay. ‐Nope."
Single Drunk Female
"‐I'm not going anywhere. ‐(sighs)"
Single Drunk Female
"‐Too bad. So sad. I'm staying in your office. ‐All right."
Single Drunk Female
"‐I'm occupying the space. ‐I didn't want to do it like this,"
Single Drunk Female
"‐but you leave no choice. Okay. ‐What are you doing?"
Single Drunk Female
"I'll tell you what I'm not doing is..."
Single Drunk Female
"I'm not putting my hands on you and moving you myself,"
Single Drunk Female
"'cause that's not cool. All right?"
Single Drunk Female
"‐That's a Cuomo and I'm not doing that. ‐MAN: Security."
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah, security, this is Bzzzzzzzzzz."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Uh, sixth floor conference room. ‐Security?"
Single Drunk Female
"There's a burglar here."
Single Drunk Female
"‐A short woman. ‐Give me this."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Orange sweater. ‐Come on!"
Single Drunk Female
"‐Dark hair. No. ‐Let me talk to them."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Get out... Sam. ‐Let me tell them the truth."
Single Drunk Female
"Let me tell them the truth."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Hi, this is... ‐God, you're strong."
Single Drunk Female
"This is the aforementioned Sam."
Single Drunk Female
"I was telling him something honest,"
Single Drunk Female
"‐and the patriarchy couldn't handle that. ‐(grunts)"
Single Drunk Female
"‐Do you hear me? ‐Oh, my God. Please."
Single Drunk Female
"Let me have it! You know what?"
Single Drunk Female
"I quit!"
Single Drunk Female
"Aah!"
Single Drunk Female
"Ow!"
Single Drunk Female
"God!"
Single Drunk Female
"What the hell, Sam?"
Single Drunk Female
"Oh."
Single Drunk Female
"‐MAN: Sir? Are you okay? ‐Oh, God."
Single Drunk Female
"(breathes heavily)"
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, my God."
Single Drunk Female
"♪ Onset, make you work up sweat an' a ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"♪ Onset, make you ♪ ♪ Uh, uh, uh, uh ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"♪ Onset, make you work up sweat an' a ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"♪ Onset make you work up sweat, make ya ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"♪ Onset, make you work up sweat, make ya ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"♪ Onset, make you work up sweat ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"♪ Better the measure ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"♪ To make 'em all say, "Yes, sir" ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"♪ Oh, oh, oh. ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"SAMANTHA: I followed you on Instagram."
Single Drunk Female
"I noticed that you haven't followed me back yet,"
Single Drunk Female
"but I figured since they won't give me your cell phone number,"
Single Drunk Female
"we could just, like, DM or something"
Single Drunk Female
"and keep it touch that way, or..."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Mm. ‐Oh, I guess I can just email you, right?"
Single Drunk Female
"That's fine. Okay."
Single Drunk Female
"‐I just don't want... ‐CAROL: Hurry up!"
Single Drunk Female
"I have my spiritual book club meeting at 2:00,"
Single Drunk Female
"and I can't miss it because I'm the speaker."
Single Drunk Female
"SIDNEY: I sincerely hope you don't come back."
Single Drunk Female
"I'm gonna miss you."
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah."
Single Drunk Female
"Hello, Smother."
Single Drunk Female
"Hello, Beauty Girl."
Single Drunk Female
"Is that your New York apartment in one bag?"
Single Drunk Female
"Can you not... can we not on the seat?"
Single Drunk Female
"Because it's clean. Okay, it's not. It's..."
Single Drunk Female
"(chuckles) It's fine."
Single Drunk Female
"Thanks for not making me take the T."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh. (chuckles)"
Single Drunk Female
"Who's‐who's that‐‐ your rehab boyfriend?"
Single Drunk Female
"No. That's my therapist. Sidney."
Single Drunk Female
"Did you just talk about me the whole time?"
Single Drunk Female
"Yes, Mother. It's all about you."
Single Drunk Female
"But yeah, basically."
Single Drunk Female
"(engine starts)"
Single Drunk Female
"("You Sad" by Tkay Maidza playing)"
Single Drunk Female
"♪ You so sad ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"♪ Don't pull up to tell me how you feel ♪"
Single Drunk Female
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