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Clips from Uncoupled - Chapter 2 (S01E01)

"-All right, you ready to hear this? -No, but go on."
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"So, I'm walkin' along the High Line on my way to dinner"
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"just to get a little hit of nature."
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"Plus, it's my secret shortcut in that part of town."
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"I don't need a tour guide. You're on the High Line, and then?"
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"And I'm passing all these expensive new condos, thinking, "You know what?""
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""You really must be a exhibitionist to live in one of these.""
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"It's like a storefront window in Amsterdam where prostitutes advertise."
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"Not that I'm judgin' prostitutes. A girl gotta do what a girl gotta do."
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"-Suzanne! -Right."
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"So just as I had that thought,"
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"I see Colin in one of these apartments"
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"carryin' a bunch of movin' boxes"
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"with Tyler."
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"Colin left me for Tyler?"
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"Oh God, I wish I didn't see it. I'm always seein' shit I shouldn't be seein'."
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"I can't even get on a subway without a penis in my face."
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"Do you have any idea what a cliché move this is?"
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"He is half Colin's age."
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"Yeah, it's the same thing men have been doin' to women forever."
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"Who knew gay guys were just as awful as straight guys?"
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"Yeah, just with better haircuts."
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"Wait, how does Colin even know Tyler?"
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"I have no id--"
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"-Oh my God. -What?"
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"They met at our company Christmas party this past year."
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"-I fucking introduced them."
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"And later that night, we were looking at Tyler's Instagram account together"
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"and laughing at his ridiculously thirsty selfies."
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"You know what? It sounds like you two"
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"have a lot to discuss at your next therapy session."
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"Oh, no, no, we are done with therapy."
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"Colin texted me that there is "nothing more to work on,""
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"and now I know why."
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"-Oh, baby, I am so sorry. -Huh."
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"-Ugh. -Ooh…"
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"What are you doing? Wait, what--"
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"-I have to let him know that I know. -Oh, no, no, no. No. Give me that."
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"-Are you kidding? -Give me this!"
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"No angry texts, no drunk texts, no communication at all."
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"It makes you look weak. Plus, it doesn't work."
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"If it did, I'd be married eight times by now."
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"-Look."
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"I'm putting together the presentation for Claire Lewis."
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"Are you still gonna be okay to show Chrystie Street tomorrow?"
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"If not, you know I got you, right?"
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"Thanks, but I need to be working right now."
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"Work is what's going to keep me sane."
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"All right, well, this may sound crazy right about now, but…"
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"-I really do believe in you and Colin."
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"He's a Scorpio, right?"
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"Yeah, why?"
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"Child, please, Scorpios can never make up their mind. You watch. He'll be back."
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"No."
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"No! No…"
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"No!"
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"-F--"
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"-Michael. -Oh, hey, Diane, I'm really--"
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"Colin's Architectural Digest ended up in my box again."
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"You know why I keep getting his magazines?"
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"-Why? -Because you boys don't check your box."
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"And he's got an issue of The Economist just sittin' there on the ledge."
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"It's a common area."
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"Is he really so busy that he can't fetch his mail?"
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"I got it."
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"If he wants last month's issue, it's in my bathroom."
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"Kidding."
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"Michael!"
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"We've been here 15 minutes."
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"Is everything okay? Are you crying?"
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"Oh, I'm fine. Allergies. I'm so sorry to be late."
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"It's a little rude, but we waited."
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"Thank you."
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"So two split bedrooms, two full baths, and we are on the A line,"
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"which is the best layout in the building."
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"It also has newly upgraded windows,"
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"per a recent building assessment that you are not responsible for."
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"Why are they moving?"
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"They have one child and another on the way,"
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"so they are moving into something bigger in New Jersey."
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"Oh, how sad."
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"I grew up in New Jersey, so I feel your pain."
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"Where are you guys moving from?"
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"We live separately in Brooklyn. This would be our first place together."
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"Huh!"
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"That is so major."
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"It really is the best feeling in the world"
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"to both find something that you love together and then call it your home."
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"-Home is where the heart is. -Exactly."
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"And where it should stay."
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"Do you mind if we wander around on our own?"
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"Yeah, yeah. Take your time."
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"How's your hot husband?"
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"Fine. Why?"
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"I'm just asking. You got really lucky."
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"Stop!"
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"It's not even officially on the market yet."
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"It's an estate sale. The family just wants to get rid of it."
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"-That's why it's so cheap. -Did somebody die in here?"
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"-No, they'd have to disclose it. -Good. You know I'm afraid of ghosts."
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"Well, if I see any, I will invite them out to…"
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"-…our terrace!"
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"-Wow! -I know!"
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"So I ran the numbers, and if we both break open our piggy banks"
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"and scrape together the down payment,"
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"our monthly would be cheaper than living apart."
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"You gonna make me throw dinner parties and have game nights and friends?"
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"Yes."
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"Good."
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"-Okay."
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"-Hmm? -Mm."
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"I bet your husband has some hot friends. Fix me up."
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"I think they're going to make an offer."
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"You'll have to get 'em up to two. We already turned down 1.9."
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"-When? -Last month. They don't need the money."
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"Everyone needs the money. Except maybe you don't."
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"With your hot, rich husband."
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"We have our own separate bank accounts. It's not any of your fuckin' business."
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"Why so touchy? I was just making conversation."
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"It's really nice."
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