Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Veep - Congressional Ball (S05E05)

"Oh, you made it so far and then you just... (SIGHS)"
Veep
"Tom, do you have anything that you would like to add?"
Veep
"No, Roger took my thing about ropey jism."
Veep
"- Right. - Thank you, Madam President."
Veep
"And I will see you tomorrow night, right, Tom?"
Veep
"Indeed, yes."
Veep
"Okay."
Veep
"GARY: What's up?"
Veep
"Dirty. Just dirty and shady."
Veep
"Door. Door."
Veep
"So?"
Veep
"What the fuck is Tom up to?"
Veep
"Why was he meeting with Purcell at a Korean barbecue place?"
Veep
"- Marwood is the opposition. - You think Tom is helping O'Brien?"
Veep
"But what could O'Brien offer him that's better than the vice presidency?"
Veep
"Literally anything."
Veep
"Oh! Tom wanted Secretary of the Treasury."
Veep
"I said no. Ah, fuck!"
Veep
"Ma'am, you just have to keep nailing down those votes."
Veep
"All right? 26 votes and it's over."
Veep
"Okay, guys, we got to keep an eye on Tom tomorrow night."
Veep
"- Really. - Yes, ma'am."
Veep
"- Yes? - I was just checking"
Veep
"to see if there was another meeting about me."
Veep
"Not today."
Veep
"DAN: All right, the next question is for Mr. Ryan."
Veep
"Would you vote to raise the debt ceiling?"
Veep
"Well, as the late, great Lionel Richie once said,"
Veep
"Oh, what a feeling, I am dancing on the debt ceiling."
Veep
"OKAY, A: Lionel Richie is not dead,"
Veep
"AND B: what the fuck does that even mean?"
Veep
"New Hampshire loves my zingers."
Veep
"It's my personality that has gotten us this far."
Veep
"No, I am the one who got us this far,"
Veep
"you sentient enema."
Veep
"All right, Mrs. Sherman, same question."
Veep
"I hereby solemnly promise to never vote"
Veep
"to raise the debt ceiling without budgetary offsets."
Veep
"Lord knows I stick to my grocery budget every week."
Veep
"Mother Mary dry humping a pillow."
Veep
"That is what I call natural talent."
Veep
"- What was your name again? - Judy Sherman."
Veep
"Oh, come on, Richard's only winning because he gets to be"
Veep
"the easier person and I have to be me."
Veep
"All right, Judy, pretend to be Jonah."
Veep
"Richard's not gonna get the subtleties of being..."
Veep
"Just shut the fuck up and move!"
Veep
"I'd have to agree with Mrs. Sherman here on fiscal responsibility."
Veep
"In fact, teacher, allow me to present you with this apple."
Veep
"Feel my dick. I am rock-hard for you right now, mister."
Veep
"You think I'm kidding. Feel it."
Veep
"- Shit. - JONAH: What?"
Veep
"Local news stations are running footage from the rally."
Veep
"- You said Brattleboro. - So?"
Veep
"So Brattleboro just happens to be in Vermont."
Veep
"Since when?"
Veep
"Granted, every town up here is just two dirty piles of snow connected by a covered bridge,"
Veep
"but Jesus Christ, Jonah, you grew up here. How do you not know this shit?"
Veep
"I don't know. Maybe I was supposed to learn it in the second grade,"
Veep
"but my teacher was a fucking bitch."
Veep
"Jonah, watch your language."
Veep
"Well, obviously Ericsson had trackers at the event."
Veep
"Richard, who do we have tracking the widow?"
Veep
"Nobody."
Veep
"Then go out there and buy a camera and videotape everything she does."
Veep
"- Do you want 4k or 1080p? - Just buy any fucking camera."
Veep
"- Okay, I'm going. - You and I have to talk."
Veep
"If you were like 10% less black,"
Veep
"- I could make you president. - Thank you."
Veep
"(CHATTER)"
Veep
"No. No. No. That's... get it out."
Veep
"We talked about this. The wife of Congressman Platt designed it."
Veep
"Does she know I'm not the president of Cuba?"
Veep
"Did you tell her that? Are you wearing cologne?"
Veep
"A little."
Veep
"(SNIFFS) Smells like birdseed."
Veep
"- Hi, Mom. - Hi, darling."
Veep
"Hi, Marjorie. Don't you look..."
Veep
"- Strapping. - ...strapping."
Veep
"Thank you, ma'am."
Veep
"What's happening with these tentacles here?"
Veep
"Are they gonna get put away or something?"
Veep
"I have a question. I need to know how you..."
Veep
"gals want to play the whole gay thing."
Veep
"I'm sorry, I don't know..."
Veep
"Mike has been getting a bunch of questions"
Veep
"and interview requests and, you know, et cetera, et cetera."
Veep
"And I just don't know how you want to handle that."
Veep
"Do you want to just play it like Ellen or do you want to be more like Jodie Foster?"
Veep
"Do you want to play it more like a mystery?"
Veep
"Uh, I think that we were kind of hoping that we could keep things on the down-low."
Veep
"Okay, can you just speak English, Catherine?"
Veep
"'Cause I don't know what you're trying to say."
Veep
"Madam President, if it's all the same to you,"
Veep
"we don't want our private life to be politicized."
Veep
"Okay. I get that. I respect that."
Veep
"We'll keep it under the gaydar."
Veep
"- Thank you. - So, great. I'll tell Mike."
Veep
"- MAN: Ladies and gentlemen... - Here, take it."
Veep
"- ...the President of the United States. - Thank you."
Veep
"Thank... (GASPS) would you listen to this?"
Veep
"- (HARMONIZING) - Who doesn't love a cappella, right?"
Veep
"It's like a magic trick 'cause there are no instruments, of course."
Veep
"Madam President, Tom James, 8:00."
Veep
"Okay."
Veep
"You mean 11:00? Over there?"
Veep
"Seriously, can you really not tell time?"
Veep
"Sorry, ma'am, I just thought it meant close."
Veep
"- Ma'am? - Yes."
Veep
"The fluffers have done their work."
Veep
"It's time for the orgy to begin."
Veep
"Okay, let's get that done."
Veep
"Oh, look, Catherine. You fixed that there, didn't you?"
Veep
"Yeah."
Veep
"Except it's still just a rat's nest in the back."
Veep
"It needs to pull... maybe you can help her, Marjorie."
Veep
"Just pull it back, sweetheart."
Veep
"Oh, all my friends are here."
Veep
"- Madam President, hello. - Merry Christmas."
Veep
"- Thank you so much for having us. - Hello, Congressman Jaeger."
Veep
Show more clips