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Clips from Lucifer - Off the Record (S03E03)

"Welcome back to the land of the living, Mr. Getty."
Lucifer
"What...?"
Lucifer
"What happened?"
Lucifer
"Just a little brush with death."
Lucifer
"You had us worried there for a while."
Lucifer
"Oh."
Lucifer
"Is my wife here?"
Lucifer
"No."
Lucifer
"I'm sorry, you haven't had any visitors."
Lucifer
"Well..."
Lucifer
"we have been having some trouble lately."
Lucifer
"But you know what?"
Lucifer
"Second chance on life."
Lucifer
"Maybe it's not too late to turn things around."
Lucifer
"No, you wouldn't."
Lucifer
"No."
Lucifer
"So, sorry to shag and run, darling, but, uh,"
Lucifer
"I'll see you next time."
Lucifer
"All right."
Lucifer
"Ah. Lovely."
Lucifer
"Who the hell does he think he is?"
Lucifer
"Lucifer Morningstar."
Lucifer
"You're serious? That's his name?"
Lucifer
"What kind of idiot calls himself that?"
Lucifer
"The kind who owns this place."
Lucifer
"Don't think I haven't noticed you watching me."
Lucifer
"I know what this is about."
Lucifer
"You do?"
Lucifer
"Yes,"
Lucifer
"and the answer is no."
Lucifer
"I will not sleep with you."
Lucifer
"Excuse me?"
Lucifer
"It's not because you're a man. It's just because..."
Lucifer
"Well, I don't find you attractive."
Lucifer
"But maybe I could"
Lucifer
"introduce you to someone more, you know, your league?"
Lucifer
"There's a chubby fellow over there."
Lucifer
"I'm sure he wouldn't mind giving you a reach-around or something."
Lucifer
"I'm married... to a woman, thank you very much."
Lucifer
"Oh. Does she know you're gay?"
Lucifer
"My wife,"
Lucifer
"who's the smartest and funniest person I ever met,"
Lucifer
"and the only woman that I've ever loved,"
Lucifer
"is sleeping with another man."
Lucifer
"A sleazy, arrogant, womanizing piece of garbage."
Lucifer
"Well, then, why are you wasting time trying to pick me up?"
Lucifer
"You should be punishing him."
Lucifer
"Oh, don't worry. I'm going to."
Lucifer
"Oh, are you? Great."
Lucifer
"What are you gonna do, spoons to the eyes?"
Lucifer
"Ants inside his urethra?"
Lucifer
"A Urethra Franklin, as I like to call it."
Lucifer
"I think I'm just gonna punch him in the face."
Lucifer
"Well, that's not enough for someone who stole your wife."
Lucifer
"- You're right. - Yeah."
Lucifer
"You should destroy him."
Lucifer
"Tear his very life apart piece by piece."
Lucifer
"And normally, I'd help you do that,"
Lucifer
"but I've picked up a new hobby recently. Detective!"
Lucifer
"Detective?"
Lucifer
"Yes. LAPD, and I'm a consultant."
Lucifer
"You? You work with the police?"
Lucifer
"Started a couple of weeks ago. It's quite fun, actually."
Lucifer
"Hey, you know, I've been trying to reach you."
Lucifer
"Detective, meet my new friend. Uh..."
Lucifer
"- Uh, Reese. - Hi."
Lucifer
"Ah. Owner of the pieces."
Lucifer
"Good to meet you."
Lucifer
"Uh, sorry to interrupt, but I need"
Lucifer
"my consultant to sober up and join me at a crime scene."
Lucifer
"Oh, sounds lovely. All right."
Lucifer
"Nice meeting you."
Lucifer
"Yes. Oh."
Lucifer
"Good luck with the punishing."
Lucifer
"Hey, boss, I got something."
Lucifer
"Sleeping in your office again?"
Lucifer
"No, I'm working on my new story."
Lucifer
"It's about a shady nightclub owner."
Lucifer
"My top investigative reporter wants me to approve a piece"
Lucifer
"about overpriced booze and go-go dancers?"
Lucifer
"No, no, it's a con man."
Lucifer
"On paper, didn't even exist five years ago."
Lucifer
"Tells everyone he's the Devil."
Lucifer
"So he's a weirdo. I don't see a story."
Lucifer
"He's consulting for the LAPD."
Lucifer
"I've got a bad feeling this guy's up to no good."
Lucifer
"Remember the last time I had a bad feeling?"
Lucifer
"How can I forget your Pulitzer"
Lucifer
"when you won't stop reminding me?"
Lucifer
"This son of a bitch is hiding something."
Lucifer
"Who he is, how he's exploiting the police."
Lucifer
"Whatever it is, the people deserve to know the truth."
Lucifer
"Bringing this guy down,"
Lucifer
"there wouldn't be a personal reason behind it, would there?"
Lucifer
"No. Of course not."
Lucifer
"Lucifer!"
Lucifer
"Reese. Excuse me."
Lucifer
"What are you doing here?"
Lucifer
"Have you come to tell me about the punishment you delivered?"
Lucifer
"Probably not best to go into detail in a police station."
Lucifer
"No. After we met last night, I realized how..."
Lucifer
"fascinating you are."
Lucifer
"Oh, well, I can't argue with that."
Lucifer
"I'm a journalist for the LA Telegraph."
Lucifer
"So I pitched my editor, and she said I could do a piece on you."
Lucifer
"No. What, an entire article dedicated to me?"
Lucifer
"Right. Well, let's start with a talk."
Lucifer
"Gosh, this'll be fun."
Lucifer
"Can you tell me about this guy, Lucifer?"
Lucifer
"Yeah, he calls himself "the Devil.""
Lucifer
"He helped me out with some gambling debts."
Lucifer
"Saved my life."
Lucifer
"Five years ago?"
Lucifer
"I heard he was somewhere terrible down south."
Lucifer
"He introduced me to my husband."
Lucifer
"And my horse."
Lucifer
"Maybe Florida?"
Lucifer
"It's weird, but this is L.A."
Lucifer
"I don't know what to tell you. I love the guy."
Lucifer
"Just love that guy."
Lucifer
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