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Clips from Cheers - Dog Bites Cliff (S05E05)

"Cheers" is filmed before A live studio audience.

""Cheers" is filmed before A live studio audience."

Cheers

Don't work too hard There, diane.

"Don't work too hard There, diane."

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I don't mind.

"I don't mind."

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Our wedding day Draws ever nearer,

"Our wedding day Draws ever nearer,"

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And all This conditioning Is simply preparation

"And all This conditioning Is simply preparation"

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For that special moment

"For that special moment"

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When you and i Exchange rings.

"When you and i Exchange rings."

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My hands Must be pristine,

"My hands Must be pristine,"

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Because everyone's eyes Will be on my fingers.

"Because everyone's eyes Will be on my fingers."

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And everyone's fingers Will be down their throats.

"And everyone's fingers Will be down their throats."

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Oh, carla. Sweet, pathetic carla.

"Oh, carla. Sweet, pathetic carla."

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Can't you see that I'm in too good a mood

"Can't you see that I'm in too good a mood"

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To let your petty asides Bother me?

"To let your petty asides Bother me?"

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I'm afraid You'll just have to find Some other way

"I'm afraid You'll just have to find Some other way"

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Of bugging me.

"Of bugging me."

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If you insist.

"If you insist."

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Aah!

"Aah!"

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* Makin' your way In the world today *

"* Makin' your way In the world today *"

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* Takes everything You've got *

"* Takes everything You've got *"

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* Takin' a break From all your worries *

"* Takin' a break From all your worries *"

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* Sure would Help a lot *

"* Sure would Help a lot *"

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* Wouldn't you like To get away *

"* Wouldn't you like To get away *"

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* Sometimes You wanna go *

"* Sometimes You wanna go *"

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* Where everybody Knows your name *

"* Where everybody Knows your name *"

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* And they're always Glad you came *

"* And they're always Glad you came *"

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* You wanna be Where you can see *

"* You wanna be Where you can see *"

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* Our troubles Are all the same *

"* Our troubles Are all the same *"

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* You wanna be *

"* You wanna be *"

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* Where everybody Knows your name *

"* Where everybody Knows your name *"

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* You wanna go Where people know *

"* You wanna go Where people know *"

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* People are All the same *

"* People are All the same *"

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* You wanna go *

"* You wanna go *"

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* Where everybody Knows your name **

"* Where everybody Knows your name **"

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Yes, thank you For telling me.

"Yes, thank you For telling me."

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If you don't Hear from me In an hour,

"If you don't Hear from me In an hour,"

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I'll be there. Ok. Thank you.

"I'll be there. Ok. Thank you."

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Sam, may i Speak to you For a minute?

"Sam, may i Speak to you For a minute?"

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It would be A new record If you do.

"It would be A new record If you do."

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That was A buddhist monastery Called the glade.

"That was A buddhist monastery Called the glade."

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I've been hoping To go on retreat there,

"I've been hoping To go on retreat there,"

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And guess what. They have a vacancy.

"And guess what. They have a vacancy."

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Great. I heard all the monks

"Great. I heard all the monks"

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Went to ft. Lauderdale This year.

"Went to ft. Lauderdale This year."

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No, sam, it's Not a resort.

"No, sam, it's Not a resort."

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It's a contemplative Retreat

"It's a contemplative Retreat"

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Where people go as A means of purifying Their souls.

"Where people go as A means of purifying Their souls."

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For two weeks, you're Isolated from others

"For two weeks, you're Isolated from others"

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To commune With yourself.

"To commune With yourself."

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You're provided with A small room,

"You're provided with A small room,"

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You're fed pure, Toxin-free foods.

"You're fed pure, Toxin-free foods."

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Oh, wait. Wait, And...

"Oh, wait. Wait, And..."

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They have The biggest buddha East of the mississippi.

"They have The biggest buddha East of the mississippi."

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Boy, he is a bruiser, Isn't he?

"Boy, he is a bruiser, Isn't he?"

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Well, it's Not exactly vegas,

"Well, it's Not exactly vegas,"

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But all right, I'll give it a try. What should i bring?

"But all right, I'll give it a try. What should i bring?"

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Oh...No, sam. I'm going alone.

"Oh...No, sam. I'm going alone."

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Only in my solitude Can i discover Who we are.

"Only in my solitude Can i discover Who we are."

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Oh, wait a minute here.

"Oh, wait a minute here."

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This isn't One of those weird cults

"This isn't One of those weird cults"

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Where they mess With your head

"Where they mess With your head"

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And you end up Handing out flowers At the airport?

"And you end up Handing out flowers At the airport?"

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You will be coming back, Won't you?

"You will be coming back, Won't you?"

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No, i won't Be coming back, But i will.

"No, i won't Be coming back, But i will."

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I guess i just made Up a little zen Koan, didn't i?

"I guess i just made Up a little zen Koan, didn't i?"

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Let me explain.

"Let me explain."

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A koan is a paradox Upon which one meditates

"A koan is a paradox Upon which one meditates"

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In order to become More enlightened.

"In order to become More enlightened."

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For example,

"For example,"

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What was your face Before your parents Were born?

"What was your face Before your parents Were born?"

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Easy. A "10."

"Easy. A "10.""

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This is kind of fun. You got any more?

"This is kind of fun. You got any more?"

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I'm off to The glade. It is All right, isn't it?

"I'm off to The glade. It is All right, isn't it?"

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Yeah. What the heck. Why not? Sure. Go ahead.

"Yeah. What the heck. Why not? Sure. Go ahead."

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Good-bye, my love.

"Good-bye, my love."

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Bye-bye. Steal me an ashtray.

"Bye-bye. Steal me an ashtray."

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Hey, hey, Is diane taking The day off again?

"Hey, hey, Is diane taking The day off again?"

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No.

"No."

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Good.

"Good."

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She's taking Two weeks off.

"She's taking Two weeks off."

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No, sammy, That's not fair! Come on!

"No, sammy, That's not fair! Come on!"

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She's always taking off For one stupid reason Or another.

"She's always taking off For one stupid reason Or another."

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Can't we just Kill her?

"Can't we just Kill her?"

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She's my fiancee, Carla.

"She's my fiancee, Carla."

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Is that a yes?

"Is that a yes?"

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No.

"No."

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Hey, everybody.

"Hey, everybody."

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Hey, cliffie.

"Hey, cliffie."

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What's with your leg?

"What's with your leg?"

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I'd rather not Talk about it.

"I'd rather not Talk about it."

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Got bitten by a dog.

"Got bitten by a dog."

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10 Stitches To close the wound.

"10 Stitches To close the wound."

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I tell you, these Unleashed animals are A menace to postal workers.

"I tell you, these Unleashed animals are A menace to postal workers."

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You're gonna sue, Aren't you?

"You're gonna sue, Aren't you?"

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I may be wrong, But i don't think

"I may be wrong, But i don't think"

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You can sue members Of the animal kingdom.

"You can sue members Of the animal kingdom."

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I'm talking about The owners, nelly bell.

"I'm talking about The owners, nelly bell."

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There's No need to sue.

"There's No need to sue."

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I left a strongly worded note In their mailbox.

"I left a strongly worded note In their mailbox."

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That's too bad, cliff. I know a lawyer who'd Take it on a contingency basis.

"That's too bad, cliff. I know a lawyer who'd Take it on a contingency basis."

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It wouldn't cost you a dime,

"It wouldn't cost you a dime,"

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And you might end up With a sizable settlement.

"And you might end up With a sizable settlement."

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If it gets you Off my back, all right.

"If it gets you Off my back, all right."

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[Telephone rings]

"[Telephone rings]"

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Cheers.

"Cheers."

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Yeah. Just a minute, please.

"Yeah. Just a minute, please."

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Mr. Clavin, for you.

"Mr. Clavin, for you."

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Take a message. I'll call 'em back.

"Take a message. I'll call 'em back."

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Can he get back to you?

"Can he get back to you?"

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Oh, yes, ma'am. She wants to know How your leg is.

"Oh, yes, ma'am. She wants to know How your leg is."

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The mutt's owner Tracked me down.

"The mutt's owner Tracked me down."

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Tell her that she can Deep 6 that phony Concern of hers.

"Tell her that she can Deep 6 that phony Concern of hers."

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It doesn't cut it With me.

"It doesn't cut it With me."

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You can deep 6 Your phony concern.

"You can deep 6 Your phony concern."

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It doesn't cut it With him.

"It doesn't cut it With him."

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Tell her my leg And i will see Her in court.

"Tell her my leg And i will see Her in court."

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His leg and him Will see you in court.

"His leg and him Will see you in court."

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Ok. I'll tell him.

"Ok. I'll tell him."

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Your mom wants you To be home by 6:00.

"Your mom wants you To be home by 6:00."

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Woody, why didn't You tell me it was My mother?

"Woody, why didn't You tell me it was My mother?"

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I just did.

"I just did."

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