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Clips from Avenue 5 - Are You a Spider, Matt? (S01E01)

"(SCREAMING)"
Avenue 5
"We're gonna suck a person out of this person!"
Avenue 5
"-(SCREAMS) -ALL: Oh!"
Avenue 5
"-You killed it. -What?"
Avenue 5
"I'm smiling, you killed it. Like... (CHUCKLES)"
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"(SHIP BEEPING)"
Avenue 5
"♪ (SOOTHING MUSIC PLAYS) ♪"
Avenue 5
"-(BEEPING) -What is that?"
Avenue 5
"It's an oxygen leak."
Avenue 5
"What is this ship made of?"
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"-Tinfoil? -(BEEPING)"
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"You need to change the way they see the ship."
Avenue 5
"Are you talking about lasers?"
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"The president suggested we lose 500 people."
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"You're just gonna kill 500 passengers?"
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"(BEEPING)"
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"(WHISPERS) The Beeping is the ship telling us"
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"to recalibrate for the baby."
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"-We have air?! -Yeah, we have air."
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"And... light 'em up!"
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"MATT SPENCER: He's transformed"
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"the most disgusting thing imaginable"
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"into a kaleidoscope of butt truffles."
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"♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪"
Avenue 5
"Space and luxury, a somewhat awkward marriage."
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"But then, isn't every marriage?"
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"I know mine was!"
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"With comms down, we can't talk to Earth,"
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"but we can still swim like a mermaid,"
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"gamble like a gangster, eat like a beast."
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"Some food flavorings may not be available."
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"And spend hours marveling at our illuminated circle of turds!"
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"FRANK KELLY: This thing is kind of mesmerizing"
Avenue 5
"since Mr. Judd lit it up."
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"Oh. See that-- Look at right there."
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"Looks like a burrito."
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"-(SPIKE CHUCKLES) -DOUG: Where?"
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"-Right-- See? It's moving. -DOUG: I'm not seeing a burrito."
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"I can see a face there, kind of."
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"It's maybe..."
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"John Paul."
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"Beatles or Getty?"
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"I see the pope's face."
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"Pope John Paul II. He was in at the turn of the century."
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"Infallible, obviously,"
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"but great at apologizing for historical bad stuff."
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"All I'm seeing is a lot of shiny excrement."
Avenue 5
"I'm sorry, guys."
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"JP was one of the good ones, too."
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"Wasn't even a Nazi in his youth."
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"I'm-- I'm just not sure a pope would choose to appear in shit."
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"Wouldn't he pick, like, motor oil or pancakes?"
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"FRANK: Honestly, I see his face."
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"Maybe I'll see you later, Mr. Pope,"
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"since... I guess I'm the only one who can."
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"♪ (MYSTICAL MUSIC PLAYS) ♪"
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"HERMAN JUDD: Wow. Huh."
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"It's like a screenshot from the Bible."
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"So, when does this, uh, Caca Papa appear?"
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"Any second now. It's every 90 minutes."
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"(ENGLISH ACCENT) Yeah. You can set your watch by it."
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"Although I prefer to use the onboard time--"
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"MAN 1: Ah, there he is. Bless you."
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"MAN 2: I wish I could kiss his ring."
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"RYAN CLARK: Can you see it, Billie?"
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"The descent into barbarism? Yeah, I can see that clearly."
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"The pope, I do not see."
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"No, I don't see it either."
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"But I can see the joy"
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"that his face puts on their faces."
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"I don't understand."
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"Joy. It's a-- it's a human emotion."
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"Used to be quite popular."
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"That right there, is that an ear?"
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"-No, it's a piece of shit. -Oh."
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"As long as it keeps people from murdering me in my bed, I'll be happy."
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"-HARRISON AMES: For fuck's sake, get out of my way. -(WOMAN GASPS)"
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"-Iris. -It's not making everyone happy. -It's Harrison."
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"-HARRISON: Get out of my way, you bunch of brides of Christ. -Let's go."
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"-What-- Who-- What is-- Who? -HARRISON: Fuck off!"
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"-RYAN: Who is Harrison? -Harrison. Harrison."
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"Oh, that's just somebody that I'm not scared of."
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"Why don't we talk about something else and not that guy"
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"'cause, honestly... (CHUCKLING) ...who cares about him? Not me."
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"MIKE: Oh, hi, Captain."
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"(AMERICAN ACCENT) Hey there, Mike. How are you doing?"
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"-MIKE: Good, good -(ENGLISH ACCENT) I have not forgotten about Harrison."
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"(MUTTERING) Jesus Christ."
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"I just heard I'm gonna be at your table tonight."
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"(AMERICAN ACCENT) What, with an apple in your mouth"
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"and pineapple nipple rings like I requested?"
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"Ah, just kidding. Is Barbara gonna be with you?"
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"Oh, yes, sir. She's very excited about it."
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"-Me too. Can't wait. See you later. -Okay."
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"(ENGLISH ACCENT) I want to hear more about Harrison."
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"I wanna know about Barbara. How do you like that?"
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"-How does that make you feel? -Barbara's my wife."
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"I didn't ask you. She is, though?"
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"-MIKE: Yes, she is. -I didn't see that coming."
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"-Who's Harrison? -No. Thank you for sharing..."
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"-about your wife. -It's a great story."
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"Good luck. I hope she feels better."
Avenue 5
"MATT SPENCER: Judd Very Light Beer."
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"It hurts less on the way in than it does on the way out."
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"It feels like you're peeing actual fire."
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"We're gonna see that guy's suicide, aren't we?"
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"Sure. But when it happens, we all tell HR"
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"-there were no warning signs. -Got it."
Avenue 5
"I have the feeling that he might have spent"
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"the first couple of years of his life locked in a shed."
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"-HARRISON: Fudd! -(WHISPERS) Iris!"
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"Wait! Is this Harrison?"
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"You're in no physical danger."
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"Well, not unless he buys me dinner first."
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"Iris, he's making weird sexual violent innuendo"
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"-I don't fully understand. -HARRISON: Fudd."
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"Judd. You know my name is Judd."
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"Silence, Fudd, you quivering sack of fraud."
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"And you explain to me why the first-class hallway..."
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"-Can you stop this? -Absolutely."
Avenue 5
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