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Clips from Single Drunk Female - New York (S01E01)

"You could be a really good fit here,"
Single Drunk Female
"that's why I thought of you, but, um..."
Single Drunk Female
"I gotta... I gotta be honest with you."
Single Drunk Female
"Smug Media, they're owned by a parent corporation."
Single Drunk Female
"And that corporation is all about "accountability.""
Single Drunk Female
"-Right. -There were concerns."
Single Drunk Female
"There were worries when your name came up"
Single Drunk Female
"because of your past behavior and..."
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah, yeah. You can tell them that I'm fully accountable now."
Single Drunk Female
"I mean, I have to be, I have a probation officer."
Single Drunk Female
"Uh, I will definitely not tell them that."
Single Drunk Female
"But, good to know."
Single Drunk Female
"-Okay, I gotta ask. -Mm-hmm."
Single Drunk Female
"-Was I your bottom? -Yeah, everyone always wants to know that,"
Single Drunk Female
"it was just kind of like a hole"
Single Drunk Female
"that I kept digging and digging and digging."
Single Drunk Female
"You know. Ruined my relationship with my mom,"
Single Drunk Female
"ruined my relationship with my friends,"
Single Drunk Female
"impossible to date anybody..."
Single Drunk Female
"I just kind of ended up as this, like, broken,"
Single Drunk Female
"sad, empty shell of a human being."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh."
Single Drunk Female
"Okay."
Single Drunk Female
"You know, I also, um..."
Single Drunk Female
"I threw up on the Staten Island ferry once"
Single Drunk Female
"and the wind kind of blew it right back in my face."
Single Drunk Female
"(laughing): Oh, God."
Single Drunk Female
"-Gross! Really? -Mm-hmm."
Single Drunk Female
"-Did it get in your mouth? -Yeah."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, my God. And then did you throw up again? Like..."
Single Drunk Female
"(imitating vomiting)"
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, my God. See? This is the kind of stuff I love."
Single Drunk Female
"Like, this-- if we were still at Bzzzzzzzzz,"
Single Drunk Female
"this would be a perfect listicle."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, my God."
Single Drunk Female
"(phone buzzing)"
Single Drunk Female
"(phone chimes)"
Single Drunk Female
"-Hey, James? Trip Nemshin. -How's it going, man?"
Single Drunk Female
"So, where's the rest of your team?"
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, no team, just me."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh. No, uh, no system architect?"
Single Drunk Female
"No, I did the infrastructure, the coding, all of it."
Single Drunk Female
"Wow, that's rare. Never see that."
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah, I'm like a good steak, right?"
Single Drunk Female
"-Because of the rare... -Yeah."
Single Drunk Female
"-Yeah. Let's see what you got. -Okay. All right."
Single Drunk Female
"-Come on back! -Yeah."
Single Drunk Female
"VENDOR: There you go, buddy."
Single Drunk Female
"-You have a good one. -Thanks, man."
Single Drunk Female
"-Hot dog no relish lady. -Yeah, that's me."
Single Drunk Female
"-Hot dog guy! -Yeah."
Single Drunk Female
"I always wondered if you were still alive."
Single Drunk Female
"Well, uh... yeah."
Single Drunk Female
"I'll... I'll take a hot dog, no relish."
Single Drunk Female
"Whoa. Sorry, can you break a hundo?"
Single Drunk Female
"(chuckles) Good for you, hot dog no relish,"
Single Drunk Female
"you're doing well."
Single Drunk Female
"-There you go. -Thanks."
Single Drunk Female
"BOB: Seven, eight, fifteen. Nice."
Single Drunk Female
"(phone buzzing)"
Single Drunk Female
"-Wait, wait. It's Sam. -Oh. Okay."
Single Drunk Female
"-Hi! -SAMANTHA: Hey."
Single Drunk Female
"Are you okay? How'd it go?"
Single Drunk Female
"It was, uh, it was super weird,"
Single Drunk Female
"but I got myself a hot dog"
Single Drunk Female
"to feel better and I just wanted to say thanks for the cash."
Single Drunk Female
"-What cash? -The hundred you slipped in my bag."
Single Drunk Female
"I mean, I'm gonna blow it"
Single Drunk Female
"all in the bodega, but I appreciate it."
Single Drunk Female
"I'll, uh, I'll call you if I hear anything, okay?"
Single Drunk Female
"Love you."
Single Drunk Female
"BOB (muttering): Four, five, six."
Single Drunk Female
"Eight, sixteen..."
Single Drunk Female
"Did you give my daughter money?"
Single Drunk Female
"Yes. Yeah. You know, it's New York."
Single Drunk Female
"I always tell my kids you gotta have money for the muggers."
Single Drunk Female
"What?"
Single Drunk Female
"Money for the muggers, you know, if you get mugged,"
Single Drunk Female
"you gotta, you know, take the money out, show them,"
Single Drunk Female
"throw it that way, and you run the opposite direction."
Single Drunk Female
"Why would you give my adult daughter money?"
Single Drunk Female
"And why would you do that without asking me first?"
Single Drunk Female
"I-I didn't even... I didn't even think it was a thing."
Single Drunk Female
"I mean, I didn't think that was gonna be a problem."
Single Drunk Female
"I'm so-- I..."
Single Drunk Female
"(sighs) You're right. No. I should've definitely"
Single Drunk Female
"consulted with you on that."
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah, I didn't. That's my bad. I got "vane.""
Single Drunk Female
"I got "vane" here, like a weather vane."
Single Drunk Female
"That's 16 points. That's pretty good."
Single Drunk Female
"You're up."
Single Drunk Female
"(phone buzzing)"
Single Drunk Female
"-Hello? -NATHANIEL: Sammy Fink,"
Single Drunk Female
"what're you up to?"
Single Drunk Female
"Uh, you know, not much,"
Single Drunk Female
"just gonna walk around, maybe buy a hot dog again."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, really? Ugh. Don't put that crap in your body. It's not--"
Single Drunk Female
"Well, listen, not that I monitor women's bodies."
Single Drunk Female
"Eat whatever you want."
Single Drunk Female
"I love all types. You know."
Single Drunk Female
"Big, fat, skinny, Scandinavian."
Single Drunk Female
"Um, anyway, listen, some of us are going out later,"
Single Drunk Female
"you should join us."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, wow. Okay."
Single Drunk Female
"-Uh, who's "us"? -You know,"
Single Drunk Female
"like, just some colleagues and some"
Single Drunk Female
"general office assholes. You know, the kinda people"
Single Drunk Female
"you gotta vibe with to get the job."
Single Drunk Female
"Awesome, yeah. I will definitely be there. Thank you."
Single Drunk Female
"-Sweet. I'll send you the details. -Okay."
Single Drunk Female
"Listen, just be yourself."
Single Drunk Female
"All right? Not your old self, uh, your new self."
Single Drunk Female
"Uh, but not the new self from today, just, you know..."
Single Drunk Female
"Focus on the fun parts and don't worry about the sad stuff."
Single Drunk Female
"-All right? -Yeah."
Single Drunk Female
"I'll see you tonight. Okay. Bye."
Single Drunk Female
"So, my sobriety app isn't a replacement for meetings,"
Single Drunk Female
"but it's a solution for those"
Single Drunk Female
"sometimes difficult times in between."
Single Drunk Female
"So not only will our users have access to a social network"
Single Drunk Female
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