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Clips from The Great North - Avocado Barter Adventure (S01E01)

"Okay. No big deal."
The Great North
"I saw ten minutes of Shrek at a slumber party"
The Great North
"eight years ago before I fell asleep,"
The Great North
"-so I think I got the gist. -Great. Where do we begin?"
The Great North
"So, the first thing you need to know"
The Great North
"is that Shrek is dark gray and he loves the beach."
The Great North
"JUDY: Wow! The view of Fresno"
The Great North
"at night sounds so romantic."
The Great North
"Being there with Calvin was not romantic."
The Great North
"We're more like brother and sister."
The Great North
"A brother and sister whose parents desperately wanted them"
The Great North
"to marry each other."
The Great North
"Don't get me wrong-- Calvin was a good guy."
The Great North
"He just wasn't for me. For example,"
The Great North
"I love watching movies, and Calvin loves..."
The Great North
"Fresno."
The Great North
"-Isn't it Fres-taking? -Mm."
The Great North
"Uh, sorry I came over tonight-- pretending to take you out"
The Great North
"is just easier than telling my parents how we really feel."
The Great North
"Why can't they understand that we want to build"
The Great North
"our own businesses one day, and travel?"
The Great North
"-Nobody puts baby in a corner. -What?"
The Great North
"-Dirty Dancing? -Not tonight. I'm pretty beat."
The Great North
"I mean, Fresno's great-- the Island Waterpark,"
The Great North
"Little Sweden-- but what if I want to see big Sweden?"
The Great North
"What do you want out of life, Calvin?"
The Great North
"I'll probably just sell linoleum and get old and die"
The Great North
"and be buried at Fresno Memorial Gardens."
The Great North
"My parents actually picked out a gravesite for me."
The Great North
"It's already paid for, which is really nice."
The Great North
"They bought the headstone, too."
The Great North
"Pretty much all I have left to do is die."
The Great North
"You make it sound great, but I feel the need,"
The Great North
"-the need for speed! -Okay."
The Great North
"I mean, it's a Prius, but let's see what she can do."
The Great North
"HONEYBEE: So, that night,"
The Great North
"like most nights, I cheered myself up by logging on"
The Great North
"to the Famous Movie Quotes Online Message Board,"
The Great North
"and that's when I met him."
The Great North
"-(gasps) Who? -Wolf."
The Great North
"Honk. Of course! I honestly forgot he was in this story."
The Great North
"WOLF: Ogres are like onions."
The Great North
"They have layers."
The Great North
"-And this ogre is named Wolf. -You had me at onions."
The Great North
"MOON: And the party's tonight."
The Great North
"So you can see the problem."
The Great North
"I told him you could help."
The Great North
"Avocados are going to be tough to find in Lone Moose"
The Great North
"at this time of year."
The Great North
"But I can take that box of pears"
The Great North
"and turn it into, like, 300 baseball cards."
The Great North
"-Does Honeybee like baseball cards? -I don't know, but..."
The Great North
"Now, each pack of baseball cards has a stick of gum in it,"
The Great North
"so you'd also be giving her a lot of gum."
The Great North
"-That is nice, but... -MRS. TUNTLEY: I thought"
The Great North
"you boys might be hungry for some pizza Lunchables."
The Great North
"-Thank you, Mrs. Tuntley. -Thank you, Henry's mom."
The Great North
"I put them together myself. I could not resist."
The Great North
"Mom! That's half the fun!"
The Great North
"Don't I know it!"
The Great North
"I couldn't help but overhear you talking about avocados."
The Great North
"Have you tried calling your Uncle Mike in Anchorage?"
The Great North
"He works at the Kleiman's Quality Center up there."
The Great North
"You want me to give him a call?"
The Great North
"-Would you, Mrs. T? -I'm on it."
The Great North
"Hi, Mike. Henry's adult friend"
The Great North
"needs to get his hands on some avocados."
The Great North
"Yeah, today. You have any money?"
The Great North
"Nope. I think we're looking at a barter here, Mike."
The Great North
"Okay, so he's got a few, and he's willing to trade"
The Great North
"for a Suzuki motorcycle seat."
The Great North
"-Great. -He's in."
The Great North
"So, did you get the video I sent"
The Great North
"of that rat singing the national anthem?"
The Great North
"Well, then, why didn't you call me back?"
The Great North
"Ugh, now we have avocados,"
The Great North
"but we don't have a Suzuki motorcycle seat."
The Great North
"But you've got a box of pears, don't you?"
The Great North
"-You can do a barter chain. -Barter chain?"
The Great North
"See that hilarious lampshade that looks like a hula skirt?"
The Great North
"I traded my way up to that lampshade"
The Great North
"starting with a single dead AAA battery."
The Great North
"Oh, oh, yeah, wow."
The Great North
"Now, who do we know that might like pears?"
The Great North
"♪ ♪"
The Great North
"♪ Wigs ♪"
The Great North
"♪ Bait ♪"
The Great North
"♪ Fish ♪"
The Great North
"♪ Sign ♪"
The Great North
"♪ Magazines ♪"
The Great North
"♪ Chair ♪"
The Great North
"♪ Defibrillator ♪"
The Great North
"♪ Seat, high five. ♪"
The Great North
"Ooh, I can feel those ocean breezes."
The Great North
"It's like Shrek always says, get my ass to Kokomo."
The Great North
"Mm. Bang-up job on that sign, son."
The Great North
"And the way you arranged those chairs? Aloha."
The Great North
"At the risk of sounding incredibly arrogant,"
The Great North
"I feel like we're doing a decent job."
The Great North
"Oh, super dece. So, let's talk menu."
The Great North
"From what I recall, Shrek loves two things:"
The Great North
"savory desserts and tapas."
The Great North
"WOLF: We did it. Barter chain."
The Great North
"Who knew?"
The Great North
"-I knew. -Thank you, Moon."
The Great North
"All I ask is that next time you listen to me from the beginning."
The Great North
"Well, you're still ten, so we'll take it on a case-by-case basis."
The Great North
"Okay, now we have to get to Anchorage."
The Great North
"If we take the ferry to Chiku, we can hop a bus to Talkeetna,"
The Great North
"and then we just hitchhike to, like..."
The Great North
"Can we do all that in three hours?"
The Great North
"According to the website, the next ferry comes at..."
The Great North
"tomorrow morning-- Crap!"
The Great North
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
The Great North
"Maybe someone on that plane has avocados."
The Great North
"Or we could see if they'll take us to Anchorage."
The Great North
"Oh, sure, sure."
The Great North
"But if they happen to have avocados, also good."
The Great North
"Ahoy, captain. My brother and I need to take"
The Great North
"a quick round trip to Anchorage."
The Great North
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