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Clips from American Auto - Profile (S01E01)

"So as most of you know,"
American Auto
"the news show "Contour" will be in the offices today"
American Auto
"shooting a segment about Katherine."
American Auto
"It's officially about Katherine,"
American Auto
"but it's actually about all of us."
American Auto
"It's focused specifically on Katherine."
American Auto
"Yes, it's ostensibly about Katherine."
American Auto
"That's what I just said."
American Auto
"At any rate, let's all just be professional and positive."
American Auto
"Do not do or say anything"
American Auto
"that you would not want to see on national television, okay?"
American Auto
"Remember, reporters are snakes."
American Auto
"If you give them an opening, they will slither in and pounce"
American Auto
"and bite you with poison until you're dead."
American Auto
"I thought this was supposed to be"
American Auto
"just, like, a puff piece about Katherine."
American Auto
"- About both of us. - Oh, Jack."
American Auto
"That's how they get you. They promise you a puff piece."
American Auto
""Oh, this'll just be a lovely profile.""
American Auto
"And then it's gotcha question, gotcha question,"
American Auto
"gotcha question."
American Auto
"We have let the fox"
American Auto
"into the henhouse, okay, and the vultures are circling."
American Auto
"You have way too many animal metaphors happening right now."
American Auto
"That's fair. Yes, I was gonna mention"
American Auto
"the frog and the scorpion, but I backed out of it."
American Auto
"So if Katherine looks bad,"
American Auto
"do we really think that the board"
American Auto
"is gonna fire her and hire that astronaut?"
American Auto
"Charlie Altman? Yeah."
American Auto
"They've already been talking to him. Why?"
American Auto
"Just pointing out that our CEO who doesn't know cars"
American Auto
"and can't even drive might be replaced by a former astronaut"
American Auto
"who's passionate about technology"
American Auto
"and literally been to the moon."
American Auto
"Just so we all know what's at stake here."
American Auto
"That is not gonna happen."
American Auto
"This is just a positive profile piece."
American Auto
"They literally killed the Princess of Wales, okay?"
American Auto
"They murdered her, understand?"
American Auto
"And if they could do that to her,"
American Auto
"then what are they gonna do to this guy?"
American Auto
"Nothing good."
American Auto
"♪ Bom bom bom-bom-bom-bom-bom ♪"
American Auto
"♪ Buh buh bom-bom-bom buh bom-bom-bom-bom ♪"
American Auto
"- How's it going? - Great."
American Auto
"She's like a engineering textbook."
American Auto
"Well, I've been studying all morning."
American Auto
"I am not about to let the board replace me"
American Auto
"with some space jockey."
American Auto
"At least not before my stock options vest"
American Auto
"in two years and eight months."
American Auto
"Really tracking that."
American Auto
"Look, the most important thing today"
American Auto
"is conveying passion."
American Auto
"That's what'll make people love you"
American Auto
"and the board want to keep you."
American Auto
"You don't need to know the specs"
American Auto
"on a 1984 Payne Chimera."
American Auto
"You just need to show people that this is where you shine."
American Auto
"So I shouldn't mention that the '84 Chimera"
American Auto
"was the fastest in its class and had over 350 horsepower?"
American Auto
"Ooh."
American Auto
"Someone's been doing her homework."
American Auto
"Don't look so shocked."
American Auto
"It kind of activates your worry lines."
American Auto
"What are you--oh my God."
American Auto
"And if you get in a jam,"
American Auto
"you can always bring up the woman thing."
American Auto
"Yes, you're the first female CEO of Payne."
American Auto
"Oh, God, no, the woman thing is so played out."
American Auto
"The glass ceiling, I heart Hillary,"
American Auto
"what if the Ghostbusters were all ladies?"
American Auto
"You know, the revolution's over."
American Auto
"Why do we have to keep waving around our vaginas?"
American Auto
"I wouldn't want you expressing"
American Auto
"that particular opinion on camera today."
American Auto
"You know, these are getting really bad."
American Auto
"You should have somebody look at them,"
American Auto
"for this and maybe this."
American Auto
"- Alan Strom. Wesley Payne. - Oh, yes. Hi."
American Auto
"Just want to say no hard feelings"
American Auto
"for what's to come."
American Auto
"I know how this goes."
American Auto
"How what goes?"
American Auto
"You come for me, I strike back,"
American Auto
"you counter, and so on."
American Auto
"It's how the dance is...danced."
American Auto
"But if you come for the king, you best not miss."
American Auto
"We're an interview. That's a rap battle."
American Auto
"Okay, well, the day is young."
American Auto
"So these are the talking points you might want to hit."
American Auto
"Feel free to ask her about this charity work right there."
American Auto
"Also, I'm gonna nix her taking you for a drive."
American Auto
"Feels a little first-thought."
American Auto
"It's a car company."
American Auto
"You don't want to show the CEO driving a car?"
American Auto
"It's a cliché, isn't it?"
American Auto
"Also, can you tell your sound guy that sometimes,"
American Auto
"her voice can go high, and I just don't want"
American Auto
"the audio to peak and for her to sound shrill?"
American Auto
"Got it. I will convey that immediately."
American Auto
"- Thanks. - You okay?"
American Auto
"- Mm-hmm. - You seem a little--"
American Auto
"I don't know if bonkers is the most helpful term."
American Auto
"Ouch. Yeah, I'm a little stressed."
American Auto
"- Mm-hmm. - Normally I am the filter"
American Auto
"between the company and the press,"
American Auto
"and today, we're all just out there."
American Auto
"Just raw-dogging it."
American Auto
"- Raw-dogging it. - It's an industry term."
American Auto
"Well, you know, you don't gotta worry about that."
American Auto
"I think we can all handle it ourselves."
American Auto
"Yeah, I'm not really worried about you."
American Auto
"It's some others."
American Auto
"Uh-oh, looks like it's Matthew McConaughey calling."
American Auto
"See? Look at that."
American Auto
"Matty!"
American Auto
"All right, all right, all right."
American Auto
"He's laughing."
American Auto
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