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Clips from Dave Chappelle: The Closer

""God damn it! Look how well that movement is going.""
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"[audience cheers]"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
""Look how well you are doing.""
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"[applause]"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"And we've been trapped in this predicament for hundreds of years."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"How the fuck are you making that kind of progress?"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"I can't help but feel like"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"if slaves had baby oil and booty shorts..."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"[laughter]"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"...we might have been free a hundred years sooner."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"You know what I mean?"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"If Martin Luther King was like,"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
""I want everybody to get up on them floats."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"Get your bodies good and shiny.""
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"I don't hate gay people at all, I respect the shit out of you."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"Well, not all of you."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"I am not that fond of these newer gays."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"Too sensitive, too brittle."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"Those aren't the gays that I grew up with, I missed them old school gays, nigga."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"Them Stonewall niggas, them the ones that I respect."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"[audience cheers]"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"They didn't take shit from anybody, they fought for their freedom."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"I respect that shit, I'm not even gay"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"and I want to be like a Stonewall nigga."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"Them old school, gangster gays."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"Them glory hole niggas, them the ones I like."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"[woman cheers]"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"These new gays don't even know what the glory hole is."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"It's a hole in the wall, that gay contractors build."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"[audience laughs]"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"You want to know why they put that hole in the wall?"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"I'll tell you, there is no nice way to say it."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"'Cause when they want to have some fun"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"they will put their penises in that hole"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"and hope for the best."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"I respect that shit."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"It's a lot of courage on both sides of that hole nigga."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"[laughter]"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"I'm not even gay"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"and I want to try that glory hole out."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"[audience laughs]"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"[applause]"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"What if Martin Luther King had to integrate the glory hole?"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
""I don't care if it is Black lips back there or White lips back there"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"a mouth is a mouth."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"A warm wet mouth.""
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"I'm going all the way."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"I got into a fight."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"I almost got into a fight, it is complicated."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"I was in a bar in Austin, with my wife"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"and it was during Covid, and a woman came to our table"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"and she was maskless, and this bitch came over, no mask,"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"all "H" words. "Hi, how are you?""
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"[laughter]"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"Droplets was coming out of this bitch's face."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"We all covered our drinks. Ew! Baby, what are you doing?"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"Now I looked over the table that she came from, and I peeped game."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"The men at the table were filming me."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"This happens when you're famous."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"People will come over and try to rattle your cage"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"and get you to say something stupid or dumb"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"so that their buddies can film it"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"and get a video of you embarrassing yourself."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"And clearly I said, "This is what is happening.""
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"And these dumb motherfuckers thought, it was my first rodeo."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"[laughter]"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"[applause]"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"Sadly it worked."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"[audience laughs]"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"I ran right over there, I said-- I pointed right in the camera"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"I said, "You is a bitch-ass nigga for doing this to me.""
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"[audience laughs]"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"And the dude was shocked that I said it. He said "Huh?""
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"And when he did like this, I've seen all his fingernails"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"is painted and I realized like, "Oh-oh.""
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"[laughter]"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
""This fellow is gay.""
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"Yeah, you know how I talk. I call everybody a bitch-ass nigga."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"You know what I mean?"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"But that is not a right thing to do if they're gay. You know what I mean?"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"And now I was in trouble"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"and not only that, the motherfucker was huge."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"He stood up, he was towering over me."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"He must have been 6' 5", a big White corn-fed"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"Texas homosexual, this nigga was ready to fight."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"And he started barking on me, but I stood my ground, I wasn't scared."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"How could I be scared?"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"This motherfucker's shirt was tied up in a knot like this."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"Oh, fuck this guy. Let's go, nigga, let's go."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"I thought we were going to come to blows."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"I was ready and then"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"right when you think we would fight, guess what he did?"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"He picked up his phone and he called the police."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"And this, this thing I am describing"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"is a major issue that I have with that community."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"Gay people are minorities, until they need to be White again."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"[laughter]"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"[applause]"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"I'm being very brutally honest, so we can solve this problem."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"I'm telling you right now"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"a Black gay person would have never done that to me."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"'Cause a Black gay person knows, when the police shows up"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"they're not going to care who called 'em."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"They don't show up like, "Which one of you niggers is Clifford?""
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"[laughter]"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"We're all Clifford."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"This happens far too often."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"Another time, about six years ago, there was a lesbian woman"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"that tried to sell a story about me to TMZ."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"Thank goodness, TMZ could see right through the sham of that story."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"This woman claimed that I beat her up in a night club"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"because she was a lesbian. That is fuckin' crazy."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"Bitch, I didn't even know you was a woman."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"[audience laughs]"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"Thank God! TMZ didn't believe that"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"because I did beat the shit out of her, I am not gonna lie."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"[audience laughs]"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"It was her fault, I had no choice."
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"I came into the club minding my own business"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
"and a woman came up to me, and she goes"
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
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