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Clips from The Mighty Boosh - Bollo (S01E01)

"Hi. Welcome to the show. My name's Howard Moon. This is Vince Noir."
The Mighty Boosh
"- AlI right? - This week, the tricky subject of death."
The Mighty Boosh
"Whoa, there. I know what you're thinking. Don't."
The Mighty Boosh
"This will give me, as an actor, a lot of room to stretch myseIf,"
The Mighty Boosh
"dig deep and bring out some of those darker truths we alI share."
The Mighty Boosh
"It's not just gonna be Howard's boring acting. There'lI be music, adventure,"
The Mighty Boosh
"and some outlandish speciaI effects."
The Mighty Boosh
"Not as outlandish as they would be had you not spent the budget on your hair."
The Mighty Boosh
"My hair's an intrinsic ingredient to this show."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Do you need 15 people working on it? - At least."
The Mighty Boosh
"Two for fringe, one for feathering, one for height, circumference."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Circumference? - Hair circumference."
The Mighty Boosh
"There's a lot to think about. If my barnet doesn't look right, people get furious."
The Mighty Boosh
"- They tune out immediately. - You underestimate my acting."
The Mighty Boosh
"- I don't think so. - I don't need a hairdo. I do my own hair."
The Mighty Boosh
"- CounciI does your hair. - The camera loves me. It's the way it is."
The Mighty Boosh
"- The camera loves me, I think you'lI find. - Just get off."
The Mighty Boosh
"Now l'd like to prepare you with a smalI speech from Hamlet. Thanks."
The Mighty Boosh
"''Death, the undiscover'd country"
The Mighty Boosh
"''from whose bourn no traveller returns,"
The Mighty Boosh
"''puzzles the will, and makes us rather bear those ilIs we have...''"
The Mighty Boosh
"Basically, he's gonna be doing this throughout the show,"
The Mighty Boosh
"so if you get bored, just press the red button on your remote control, yeah?"
The Mighty Boosh
"You can see me dressed as a hedgehog, dancing away, grooving around."
The Mighty Boosh
"- What's going on? - Nothing."
The Mighty Boosh
"Enjoy the show."
The Mighty Boosh
"..to the world of The Mighty Boosh!"
The Mighty Boosh
"# Come with us to The Mighty Boosh # The Mighty Boosh"
The Mighty Boosh
"# Come with us to The Mighty Boosh #"
The Mighty Boosh
"''To die, to sleep;"
The Mighty Boosh
"''To sleep perchance to dream: Ay, there's the rub;"
The Mighty Boosh
"''For in that sleep of death, what dreams may come?''"
The Mighty Boosh
"(Vince) Can you pipe down?"
The Mighty Boosh
"Bollo's not well. He don't want to hear that bleak imagery. He's got a fever."
The Mighty Boosh
"Let me explain something to you, Vince. Death's nothing to be afraid of."
The Mighty Boosh
"It's natural. The important thing is to be prepared. Face it with dignity and poise."
The Mighty Boosh
"Be ready for it like me. I'm ready for death."
The Mighty Boosh
"When Death comes knocking for me, I'll welcome him."
The Mighty Boosh
"He'lI knock thrice. ''Come in,'' I'll say. ''Sit yourseIf down."
The Mighty Boosh
"- ''Do you want a cup of tea?'' - Tea?"
The Mighty Boosh
"- I imagine Death as a coffee drinker. - l'd offer him a range of hot beverages."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Would you stretch to a latte? - You bet. Whatever he wants, he gets."
The Mighty Boosh
"- What if he doesn't want a hot drink? - l'd do a frappuccino."
The Mighty Boosh
"AlI the benefits of a cooI drink but with a caffeine boost."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Does he get a smalI ltalian biscuit? - Don't be foolish."
The Mighty Boosh
"He's trying to lose weight. (Chuckles) It's a joke."
The Mighty Boosh
"He's a skeleton. Get it?"
The Mighty Boosh
"If he was a skeleton, he'd munch them and they'd crumble through his rib cage."
The Mighty Boosh
"Ooh, crumble through. Crumble through."
The Mighty Boosh
"(Coughs)"
The Mighty Boosh
"Look. One thing. Don't get too close to the animaIs, Vince, cos they die."
The Mighty Boosh
"It's the first rule of zookeeping."
The Mighty Boosh
"- What about you and Jack Cooper? - What about me and Jack?"
The Mighty Boosh
"Me and Jack are acquaintances. We got close, too close, some people said."
The Mighty Boosh
"- I don't know what the rumours were. - That you were bumming him."
The Mighty Boosh
"Yeah, whatever. Stupid rumours. Childish. Not true."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Whatever they were. - You were bumming him."
The Mighty Boosh
"I know what the rumours were. Not true. OK?"
The Mighty Boosh
"The point is, don't get too close to Bollo cos he's on his way out."
The Mighty Boosh
"(Howard) I'm going now. You're getting on my nerves."
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"- Is that what they're saying about me? - No. You're the man round here."
The Mighty Boosh
"- They're just rumours. - See ya later."
The Mighty Boosh
"See ya."
The Mighty Boosh
"- AlI right, Jack? - Get away from me, right?"
The Mighty Boosh
"Ah, Moon. Walk and talk with me."
The Mighty Boosh
"We see eye to eye, huh? You and me? I'm your boss man."
The Mighty Boosh
"But I'm aIso your friend. But I'm not your wife."
The Mighty Boosh
"But we have made massively violent love. Did I say that out loud?"
The Mighty Boosh
"- What do you want, Mr Fossil? - I have a problem."
The Mighty Boosh
"It's to do with the little man, the squashed-in French man."
The Mighty Boosh
"The naked little squashed-up hairy boy."
The Mighty Boosh
"You know, with the hand feet. The brown little hand-foot man."
The Mighty Boosh
"- The gorilla. - Yeah. Wait. Say that again."
The Mighty Boosh
"Gorilla."
The Mighty Boosh
"Anyway, the old lady that sponsors the..."
The Mighty Boosh
"- (Tape) Gorilla. - ...is coming today,"
The Mighty Boosh
"and if she sees him knocking on death's door, lying around like a box,"
The Mighty Boosh
"she ain't gonna pay me Bo Diddley."
The Mighty Boosh
"- What do you want me to do? - I want you to dress as a..."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Gorilla. - You know, eat a banana..."
The Mighty Boosh
"dance around, kick some hay."
The Mighty Boosh
"I'm not doing that. I'm a man."
The Mighty Boosh
"I knew that. Man."
The Mighty Boosh
"I've got dignity and poise. I'm not dressing as a gorilla."
The Mighty Boosh
"Well, if you don't, alI the animaIs will go poor,"
The Mighty Boosh
"and they won't be able to afford toboggans or sausages."
The Mighty Boosh
"See you later, Mr Fossil."
The Mighty Boosh
"It's just as well, Moon. You can't act anyway."
The Mighty Boosh
"- What did you say? - I said you can't act."
The Mighty Boosh
"Get me an ape suit, four bananas and a hot towel."
The Mighty Boosh
"Come on, Bollo. You'lI pulI through."
The Mighty Boosh
"Vince, my time is now. Death is near."
The Mighty Boosh
"- I can sense him. - Don't speak like that, Bollo."
The Mighty Boosh
"Do not be afraid, my child."
The Mighty Boosh
"The important thing is that we had a good life."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Yeah. - Good times."
The Mighty Boosh
"Yeah. We had great times."
The Mighty Boosh
"(# Schmaltzy piano)"
The Mighty Boosh
"Great times, Bollo."
The Mighty Boosh
"Great moments. You know, they can't take those moments away from you."
The Mighty Boosh
"Who can't?"
The Mighty Boosh
"The moment stealers? Something Howard used to say."
The Mighty Boosh
"Hey, Vince. will you do me a favour when I'm dead?"
The Mighty Boosh
"Anything."
The Mighty Boosh
"Find Howard. Slap him in the face."
The Mighty Boosh
"- The man's a fool. - OK."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Vince? - Yeah?"
The Mighty Boosh
"- Your hair looks good today. - Thanks."
The Mighty Boosh
"(Vince) Yours looks good too."
The Mighty Boosh
"Not as good as mine, obviously. You've got a few split ends."
The Mighty Boosh
"I could sort that out for you, though."
The Mighty Boosh
"You are my friend, Vince."
The Mighty Boosh
"(Vince) Yeah."
The Mighty Boosh
"- (Bollo) What are you doing? - Oh, sorry."
The Mighty Boosh
"I thought you'd gone."
The Mighty Boosh
"Not quite yet."
The Mighty Boosh
"Sorry."
The Mighty Boosh
"I'm terribly sorry about that, old lady. Have a nice day."
The Mighty Boosh
"Um... I do want that toweI back."
The Mighty Boosh
"What the hell was that alI about, Moon?"
The Mighty Boosh
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