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Clips from Friends with Kids

"Hey, doll."
Friends with Kids
"Death by shark or alligator?"
Friends with Kids
"Oh..."
Friends with Kids
"I don't swim in the ocean."
Friends with Kids
"Alligators are in lakes or swamps and marshes."
Friends with Kids
"But sharks are only in the ocean."
Friends with Kids
"You can't change the rules, Jase. You gotta pick."
Friends with Kids
"The rules presume that both deaths could occur."
Friends with Kids
"They can. You can't mitigate risk to zero."
Friends with Kids
"I can mitigate risk to zero on shark death if I never get into the ocean."
Friends with Kids
"Unless you're in a plane that goes down in the ocean"
Friends with Kids
"and you don't die on impact."
Friends with Kids
"Okay, fine. Shark. It's faster."
Friends with Kids
"Alligators drown you before they eat you. So, there. Shark. Okay?"
Friends with Kids
"- You happy? - Yes."
Friends with Kids
"You wanna come up?"
Friends with Kids
"- Is Katherine there? - Yeah."
Friends with Kids
"- Then, no thank you. - No, it's fine. Come up. She..."
Friends with Kids
"I'm going to break up with her soon anyway."
Friends with Kids
"Really? Already?"
Friends with Kids
"- I give it like three weeks. - Poor Katherine."
Friends with Kids
"She'll be fine. She's got a great"
Friends with Kids
"sense of humor."
Friends with Kids
"- You're such an asshole. - I know."
Friends with Kids
"- You have a problem. - I have many."
Friends with Kids
"I blame my parents. Why are you whispering by the way?"
Friends with Kids
"Oh, there's a guy in my bed."
Friends with Kids
"What? Doll, that's great."
Friends with Kids
"No, it's not. He's like eleven. He's a bartender. What is wrong with me?"
Friends with Kids
"Nothing. It's been like years, hasn't it?"
Friends with Kids
"- Six months and a week. - Exactly."
Friends with Kids
"It's not natural. Doll, you gotta sweep out the cobwebs."
Friends with Kids
"Thank you for that."
Friends with Kids
"From your vagina."
Friends with Kids
"Got it."
Friends with Kids
"- I think you should come up. - No, it's okay."
Friends with Kids
"I'm just gonna take a pill. I'll see you tonight, yeah?"
Friends with Kids
"All right. Is it all of us?"
Friends with Kids
"Yeah, it's the six of us, and Katherine. Unless you break up with her before then."
Friends with Kids
"- Okay. - Keep me posted."
Friends with Kids
"- Night, doll. - Night."
Friends with Kids
"Thank you. Okay."
Friends with Kids
"Yeah, that's fine. Just make it a breakfast."
Friends with Kids
"Can you hold that, please?"
Friends with Kids
"- Gotta stop meeting like this. - Hi, doll."
Friends with Kids
"Hi."
Friends with Kids
"Did you have to wear those shoes?"
Friends with Kids
"- Do you feel inadequate? - Do you feel enormous?"
Friends with Kids
"Fuck you."
Friends with Kids
"- Thank you. - Thank you."
Friends with Kids
"Well done, doll. Did you do this through your boss?"
Friends with Kids
"Yep. And I only had to blow him like three times."
Friends with Kids
"And that guy, twice."
Friends with Kids
"- Hello! - Hi."
Friends with Kids
"- Hi, beauty. - You look so pretty."
Friends with Kids
"You look gorgeous."
Friends with Kids
"I think we both look terrific."
Friends with Kids
"How are you? Good to see you."
Friends with Kids
"You're all glowy."
Friends with Kids
"- I love touching your face. - I love it when you do."
Friends with Kids
"Jase, where's Katherine? Is she meeting you here?"
Friends with Kids
"Well..."
Friends with Kids
"- No! - Seriously?"
Friends with Kids
"I don't know. I don't know."
Friends with Kids
"- Poor Kath. - What?"
Friends with Kids
"I forget, what do they say about commitment issues?"
Friends with Kids
"Is it you hated your mom, you wanted sex with your mom?"
Friends with Kids
"- Come on... - I think it's hate your mom."
Friends with Kids
"I thought it was that you're afraid your mom's gonna out your penis off."
Friends with Kids
"Okay."
Friends with Kids
"No!"
Friends with Kids
"Thank you all very, very much. Thank you."
Friends with Kids
"Can I just point out that Jule can't get to a second date."
Friends with Kids
"Oh, that's not fair, that is not fair."
Friends with Kids
"I'm trying, I went to the last setup from this one, brutal..."
Friends with Kids
"Wait, your message got cut off. You didn't like Russell? He's gorgeous."
Friends with Kids
"- He's a criminal. - Yeah."
Friends with Kids
"- White collar. You can make that work. - Really?"
Friends with Kids
"- Is that what it's come to? - Come on."
Friends with Kids
"That is not that big of a deal."
Friends with Kids
"- How do you make that work? - It is a fancy prison."
Friends with Kids
"So, wait, are Ben and Missy late, or..."
Friends with Kids
"Oh, no. They're here."
Friends with Kids
"- What. .. - They went to the bathroom..."
Friends with Kids
"- Twenty minutes ago. - What?"
Friends with Kids
"- To have... - Yes. I believe so."
Friends with Kids
"- Oh, my God... - To do... I think that means this, is that..."
Friends with Kids
"Do they have sex, like, all the time?"
Friends with Kids
"They have sex way more than anyone we know."
Friends with Kids
"Jase has sex a lot..."
Friends with Kids
"I do, but not at that level."
Friends with Kids
"I mean, I've never had sex on a boat or a piano."
Friends with Kids
"Not yet. Not yet you haven't."
Friends with Kids
"Remember at my dad's funeral? When they had sex in that..."
Friends with Kids
"_l_ley! - Hi!"
Friends with Kids
"What's up, guys?"
Friends with Kids
"- Hi. - How's it going?"
Friends with Kids
"- Welcome back. - Thank you."
Friends with Kids
"- Hi. How are you? Good to see you. - Nice to see you."
Friends with Kids
"Good to have you back."
Friends with Kids
"We ran into a couple of his friends from work downstairs..."
Friends with Kids
"Then we were in line, a phone call..."
Friends with Kids
"In the bathroom?"
Friends with Kids
"- Who'd you run into? - Yeah."
Friends with Kids
"- Our friends, Barbara and Dave. - Dave and Barbara."
Friends with Kids
"- I don't know them. - All right."
Friends with Kids
"- So great we're all here. - Yeah, I know."
Friends with Kids
"Oh, my God."
Friends with Kids
"So nice..."
Friends with Kids
"- Guys, can you believe this? - What?"
Friends with Kids
"Hundred bucks a plate, and they're bringing toddlers?"
Friends with Kids
"Are they even allowed in here?"
Friends with Kids
"People, it's Manhattan, we're here to live the dream,"
Friends with Kids
"leave the kiddies at home."
Friends with Kids
"We're pregnant."
Friends with Kids
"- Oh, my God, that's amazing! - Congratulations!"
Friends with Kids
"- That is such great news. - That's so nice."
Friends with Kids
"- That's amazing! - I know, isn't it?"
Friends with Kids
"- Thanks, Ben. - Sorry, we knew."
Friends with Kids
"They told us before. We knew and we didn't want to say anything."
Friends with Kids
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