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Clips from Dude

"Well, you know, uhm, speaking of prom..."
Dude
"Uhm..."
Dude
"I was a little worried that"
Dude
"you might think I was just, like, fucking around earlier."
Dude
"Definitely. I'd really like to go with you, if you're into it?"
Dude
"I don't know about your face. I don't know if you would. But..."
Dude
"No, I have this, uhm..."
Dude
"I have this pre-frosh thing at UCSB this weekend."
Dude
"-No. That's, that's chill."
Dude
"- I totally get that. - No. No. No. No. I'm not saying that."
Dude
"I don't, I don't know if I'm gonna go to that or not, uhm,"
Dude
"but if I don't go, I'd love to go to prom with you."
Dude
"Well you should then. Cool."
Dude
"So Jerry will make"
Dude
"an announcement and then it'll be girls' soccer,"
Dude
"led by yours truly."
Dude
"Then it'll be boys' soccer, though I really object to that order,"
Dude
"but then we'll both celebrate our crushing victories."
Dude
"Okay. Prom?"
Dude
"I really need your guys' help on this. So Noah..."
Dude
"will you check the rates at these catering companies?"
Dude
"Uhm, try Alphonso at Café Food, just let me know if you need any help."
Dude
"You know what, I can actually, I can..."
Dude
"Noah, uh, are there some agenda issues you'd like to address?"
Dude
"So, there are many things that are important for prom,"
Dude
"but the most important thing, is, uh, your date."
Dude
"Hmm. What's going on?"
Dude
"♪ Lily will you please Come to prom with me ♪"
Dude
"♪ I think you are very pretty And very sweet ♪ ♪ And I have wanted to ask you For like 600 weeks ♪"
Dude
"♪ Sorry if that makes me a creep ♪"
Dude
"♪ I'm so tall and I'm Jewish ♪"
Dude
"♪ And you're Jewish We're both Jewish ♪"
Dude
"♪ And Jews should stick together Because there's not that many of us ♪"
Dude
"♪ So let me go to prom with you ♪"
Dude
"♪ Don't say no, don't say no Don't say no ♪"
Dude
"- ♪ Don't say no, don't say no ♪ - Wow, that was great."
Dude
"That was... doesn't that..."
Dude
"Okay. Email tonight, meeting adjourned, thank you guys."
Dude
"Look, I know I'm no Heath Ledger, but I know you like big gestures so..."
Dude
"Prom is my prom date and it should be yours too."
Dude
"I mean, dude, the ukulele..."
Dude
"Seriously? Have some self-respect."
Dude
"Yeah, but he planned the whole thing though."
Dude
"Pretty fucking cute."
Dude
"- Hey. - Hey."
Dude
"- Hey. - Guys, I just had a serious CRAFT moment."
Dude
"What did you play, Light as a feather, stiff as a board? I love that game."
Dude
"No. So I was sitting in the library, and guess who walks in."
Dude
"- Hey. Rebecca. - Hey. What's up?"
Dude
"- A little light reading I see? - Yeah."
Dude
"My parents never done one, so I'm just trying to sort through"
Dude
"and this one's my personal reading."
Dude
"Ah, well, uh,"
Dude
"you know, sometimes there's just no reason at all"
Dude
"- and there's nothing pure about it. - Yeah."
Dude
"Right."
Dude
"I'll just, uh, you know,"
Dude
"- finish the shift. - Yeah, nice seeing you."
Dude
"♪ She rockin she drinkin she turning She rolling she smoking sweating ♪ ♪ She's sweating I hold her She about to go and she going shake ♪"
Dude
"♪ She rocking She rocking only for dollars ♪"
Dude
"♪ For dollars they are from ballers ♪"
Dude
"♪ From ballers think she'll be Your sexy flawless ♪"
Dude
"♪ Here's 26, 28, 30 inches You taste it got a lot of ambition ♪"
Dude
"♪ You get a lot of woman bad bitches ♪"
Dude
"♪ Drop it, drop it, drop it Girl get it get it ♪"
Dude
"♪ Pop it pop it drop it drop it rub it Girl get it get it ♪"
Dude
"♪ Girl get it girl get it get it ♪"
Dude
"What's up?"
Dude
"- Hey. - Hey."
Dude
"The water hot enough for you?"
Dude
"Have you ever masturbated to completion next to a total stranger before?"
Dude
"Bemis is hot."
Dude
"but in my fantasy, it's Gore Vidal and Trent Reznor."
Dude
"Is that fucking crazy?"
Dude
"Wait. So she knew you were masturbating?"
Dude
"She knew who I was fantasizing about."
Dude
"I masturbate at school all the time, it's a great burst of energy."
Dude
"It totally focuses and relaxes you."
Dude
"I'm never holding your hand again."
Dude
"Okay. So, if you send a sext to somebody and they text you back,"
Dude
""O period K period", what do you reply?"
Dude
"Aaron Jakes is a douche."
Dude
"Have you seen him again?"
Dude
"Just a few times, late night at his house,"
Dude
"younger boy throwdown, they do what you say."
Dude
"Hm. Unless they turn you down."
Dude
"Anyway, indifference is the greatest aphrodisiac."
Dude
"Yup, because Iceberg Slim said, "You can't need the pussy.""
Dude
"And who is Iceberg Slim?"
Dude
"A great writer and renowned pimp."
Dude
"- How did the meeting go, Meils? - Dude, divorce stuff sucks."
Dude
"My dad refuses to give Rosa benefits, but then I see him and he gives me this."
Dude
"That's fucking suck."
Dude
"It's just such a fucking letdown, you know."
Dude
"And this bracelet's like really fucking tacky."
Dude
"- You should tell him it upsets you. - No, you can't. He's a dick."
Dude
"You might as well enjoy the perks."
Dude
"I fucked up my eyeliner."
Dude
"- This corner. - Yeah."
Dude
"Okay. So..."
Dude
"I have a little something."
Dude
"It's Thomas' favorite."
Dude
"Oh."
Dude
"♪ Happy birthday dear Thomas ♪"
Dude
"♪ Happy birthday to you ♪"
Dude
"Okay. To Thomas. All right. Here we go, all right."
Dude
"That was the one, good cake."
Dude
"Very good cake."
Dude
"Taxi's here bellas."
Dude
"All right ladies, let's throw on some slutty dresses and get fucked up."
Dude
"- Is that what you're wearing? - Yeah, I'm over it."
Dude
"♪ Give me my shot, give me my shot Give me my shot, keep calm ♪"
Dude
"♪ Give me my shot, give me my shot Give me my shot, keep calm ♪"
Dude
"♪ Give me my shot, give me my shot Give me my shot, keep calm ♪"
Dude
"All right. Let's get schwatsy faced,"
Dude
"zanzi-bars? Shrooms? I don't care, whatever, I'll get weird."
Dude
"I'm gonna grab that blunt from the Travises. Travis!"
Dude
"Oh."
Dude
"Okay. I'm, I'll go to the bathroom."
Dude
"A lot of Wagner biographies."
Dude
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