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Clips from Single Drunk Female - A Wedding (S01E01)

"-See you. -Yeah, bye."
Single Drunk Female
"♪ ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, my God, stop texting."
Single Drunk Female
"Okay? I know you're out of practice. Just say what you mean"
Single Drunk Female
"-once-- nothing is worth a paragraph. Nothing. -No, I know, it's just..."
Single Drunk Female
"it's weird, you know? He's really"
Single Drunk Female
"not the type to ghost, so..."
Single Drunk Female
"He'll make it or he won't. Either way,"
Single Drunk Female
"there's a silver lining."
Single Drunk Female
"-What's that? -This is great for me."
Single Drunk Female
"I actually still don't know if I'm supposed to be here,"
Single Drunk Female
"so I'm gonna just cling to you like a barnacle."
Single Drunk Female
"What do you mean? You said she invited you."
Single Drunk Female
"Yes, technically, when she was under the influence"
Single Drunk Female
"-of some pretty gnarly stuff, so... -Right."
Single Drunk Female
"(car door closes)"
Single Drunk Female
"-FELICIA: Well, well, -Okay."
Single Drunk Female
"-Well. -James."
Single Drunk Female
"What nerve. Hey, don't take him back."
Single Drunk Female
"Actually, do what you want. I don't care."
Single Drunk Female
"-Hey, hey. -Oh, my God, where were you?"
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, my God, I got rear-ended"
Single Drunk Female
"by some real piece of work, and then"
Single Drunk Female
"I was waiting for insurance,"
Single Drunk Female
"the tow truck was late-- all kinds of stupid stuff."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, my God. Are you okay? Did you get hurt?"
Single Drunk Female
"I-I'm fine, a little shook up."
Single Drunk Female
"Too shook up to text? Hi."
Single Drunk Female
"I should have, but I was just racing to get here,"
Single Drunk Female
"'cause I didn't want to miss..."
Single Drunk Female
"this, my God."
Single Drunk Female
"Okay, well, I'm just glad you're okay."
Single Drunk Female
"For the record, I did not like that, though."
Single Drunk Female
"I was very scared and very worried."
Single Drunk Female
"-We all were. -I'm sorry."
Single Drunk Female
"Well, I'm gonna go see if my name is at the singles table."
Single Drunk Female
"JAMES: Do you want to banish me there, too? It's totally fine,"
Single Drunk Female
"-I don't mind. -Have you seen yourself in this suit?"
Single Drunk Female
"-You're not going anywhere near the singles table. -Hi, guys."
Single Drunk Female
"Samantha. Uh, so, I was just spreading the word."
Single Drunk Female
"We're actually running a little behind"
Single Drunk Female
"on, like, backstage stuff."
Single Drunk Female
"So while we just try and take care of things,"
Single Drunk Female
"we're gonna go on ahead and get the hors d'oeuvres going"
Single Drunk Female
"so you don't starve before the ceremony, okay?"
Single Drunk Female
"-Does that include drinks? -Yes, lots"
Single Drunk Female
"of drinks, and I'll be back soon, hopefully."
Single Drunk Female
"What the hell did she mean by that?"
Single Drunk Female
"I don't know. I think I should go find Brit."
Single Drunk Female
"-Here. -No. People are gonna think we're together."
Single Drunk Female
"All right."
Single Drunk Female
"(door opens)"
Single Drunk Female
"-She's here. She's here. -Oh, my God."
Single Drunk Female
"-Hi. -Hi. Thank you for coming."
Single Drunk Female
"Honestly, it was an emergency."
Single Drunk Female
"Sure. (short chuckle) Always on call,"
Single Drunk Female
"even when I'm technically not on the schedule"
Single Drunk Female
"and been, you know, my first day off in three weeks, so..."
Single Drunk Female
"Is that the dress? I'm not-I'm not looking."
Single Drunk Female
"Ooh, but I want to kiss you."
Single Drunk Female
"-Okay, go, go. -Yes, absolutely."
Single Drunk Female
"So, what is the problem?"
Single Drunk Female
"Well, you know, the dress doesn't fit."
Single Drunk Female
"-Oh, it does. -No."
Single Drunk Female
"We had four fittings,"
Single Drunk Female
"I have a picture of your boobs etched in my brain."
Single Drunk Female
"Um, not in a creepy way."
Single Drunk Female
"You know, just look at this."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, yeah, well, you just need to zip it up."
Single Drunk Female
"-Okay, well, all right... -Oh, no,"
Single Drunk Female
"-no, stop. Oh, stop. Ooh. -But..."
Single Drunk Female
"This time, you're gonna suck it all in when I say "suck it.""
Single Drunk Female
"-Okay, that's not my favorite. -Okay. But..."
Single Drunk Female
"suck it."
Single Drunk Female
"There you go. Yeah, see? Fits perfectly."
Single Drunk Female
"-And you look... -Wrong. Wrong."
Single Drunk Female
"Wrong. Just unzip it. Unzip it,"
Single Drunk Female
"-unzip it, please, unzip it, unzip it. -Okay, okay."
Single Drunk Female
"Let me guess:"
Single Drunk Female
"you want to blame the dress 'cause you're scared."
Single Drunk Female
"You see your future, wedded,"
Single Drunk Female
"and it's crushing all the air out of your lungs,"
Single Drunk Female
"like you're some character in Manifest"
Single Drunk Female
"and this dress is the calling from the universe"
Single Drunk Female
"you can't ignore."
Single Drunk Female
"Otherwise, why did you survive?"
Single Drunk Female
"The plane disappeared for five years,"
Single Drunk Female
"and then here you are, and ev..."
Single Drunk Female
"I'm sorry, what?"
Single Drunk Female
"Oh. Manifest. Great show."
Single Drunk Female
"Uh, but if you haven't watched it,"
Single Drunk Female
"this totally doesn't work here."
Single Drunk Female
"You know, what, I can't-I can't breathe."
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah, you can't breathe because your side boobs"
Single Drunk Female
"are being scooped up and mashed together"
Single Drunk Female
"to make one big glorious front boob."
Single Drunk Female
"That's it. There's no deeper reason than that."
Single Drunk Female
"-It's painful. -There are hundreds of people"
Single Drunk Female
"downstairs, waiting to take photos of you,"
Single Drunk Female
"and you look beautiful."
Single Drunk Female
"So, you ready to suck it up and suck it?"
Single Drunk Female
"I don't like it when you say it like that, but yes."
Single Drunk Female
"Okay. Go."
Single Drunk Female
"Suck it, suck it, suck it, suck it,"
Single Drunk Female
"-suck it, suck it, suck it, suck... -Oh, my God!"
Single Drunk Female
"-No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. -Okay, all right."
Single Drunk Female
"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no."
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah, I am not equipped to deal with this."
Single Drunk Female
"I'm supposed to be on a hike. I hate hiking,"
Single Drunk Female
"but it is better than this garbage. Also,"
Single Drunk Female
"your ahi tuna cones are bad."
Single Drunk Female
"Like, people are gonna get food poisoning."
Single Drunk Female
"-(door opens) -So you might want to look into that."
Single Drunk Female
"(door closes)"
Single Drunk Female
"-Hi there. Hello. -Thank you."
Single Drunk Female
"Thank you."
Single Drunk Female
"-♪ ♪ -(indistinct conversations)"
Single Drunk Female
"Carol! Hey!"
Single Drunk Female
"-Hi. -Hope you're enjoying the hors d'oeuvres."
Single Drunk Female
"Sorry for the delay."
Single Drunk Female
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