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Clips from Single Drunk Female - A Wedding (S01E01)

"MAN: What are we drinking to?"
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah, 'cause I just finished a year's probation,"
Single Drunk Female
"and my ex-best friend finally saw the light"
Single Drunk Female
"and invited me to her stupid wedding."
Single Drunk Female
"And, uh... Oh, yeah."
Single Drunk Female
"I got, uh, my one-year chip."
Single Drunk Female
"Mmm."
Single Drunk Female
"♪ ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"-What are you looking at? -Eighth grade."
Single Drunk Female
"That was such a tough year for you."
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah, well, the bangs."
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah, well, they are violently irregular."
Single Drunk Female
"-I looked like a troll. -I know."
Single Drunk Female
"Kids can be so appropriately cruel."
Single Drunk Female
"-I got this. -No, no, no, come on, man."
Single Drunk Female
"Well, it's not like I don't owe you, okay?"
Single Drunk Female
"I left you high and dry when I..."
Single Drunk Female
"kicked the bucket."
Single Drunk Female
"One could argue that I left you high and dry"
Single Drunk Female
"in the weeks and months leading up to"
Single Drunk Female
"you kicking said bucket."
Single Drunk Female
"Uh, years, actually."
Single Drunk Female
"Was it years?"
Single Drunk Female
"It was years."
Single Drunk Female
"Dad?"
Single Drunk Female
"I'm here."
Single Drunk Female
"I can't see your face."
Single Drunk Female
"Well, maybe you ought to watch what you're drinking."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, shit. I'm drinking."
Single Drunk Female
"-But I really want to see you. -You can't."
Single Drunk Female
"This is a classic alcoholic anxiety dream."
Single Drunk Female
"I quit smoking 20 years ago and I still dream about it."
Single Drunk Female
"The good news is this means that things are going well."
Single Drunk Female
"Of course, the bad news is that I'm still dead."
Single Drunk Female
"Hey, don't let your mom date anyone. Okay?"
Single Drunk Female
"I mean, uh, you know, unless it's, like,"
Single Drunk Female
"Pierce Brosnan. That I would get."
Single Drunk Female
"You know. The guy's a smoke show."
Single Drunk Female
"She doesn't stand a chance in hell with Pierce Brosnan."
Single Drunk Female
"-I think that's why I chose him. -Yeah."
Single Drunk Female
"Don't let her date Pierce Brosnan,"
Single Drunk Female
"-I changed my mind. -Okay,"
Single Drunk Female
"-I'll let her know. -Okay."
Single Drunk Female
"Wait, Dad."
Single Drunk Female
"♪ ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"(gasps)"
Single Drunk Female
"♪ ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"Okay."
Single Drunk Female
"Sign here."
Single Drunk Female
"Great. Got it."
Single Drunk Female
"Thank you. Have a good life."
Single Drunk Female
"That's it? What's the next step?"
Single Drunk Female
"Nothing. You turned in"
Single Drunk Female
"all your program attendance, you paid your fines,"
Single Drunk Female
"you even completed your community service."
Single Drunk Female
"You were two hours over."
Single Drunk Female
"-Oh. Is there, -Good for you."
Single Drunk Female
"-like, extra credit? -No."
Single Drunk Female
"The state of Massachusetts doesn't offer extra credit."
Single Drunk Female
"Right. All right, so I'll, uh,"
Single Drunk Female
"check in with you every month now?"
Single Drunk Female
"You check in with me never. You're done."
Single Drunk Female
"-Congratulations. -(claps)"
Single Drunk Female
"Go revel in your freedom. (whoops softly)"
Single Drunk Female
"Sure you don't want me to, like,"
Single Drunk Female
"pee in a cup, for old time's sake?"
Single Drunk Female
"What is happening?"
Single Drunk Female
"-Do you enjoy probation, Samantha? -No."
Single Drunk Female
"No, it's just weird. I've seen you every week for, like,"
Single Drunk Female
"however many weeks are in a year."
Single Drunk Female
"52. Weeks, yeah."
Single Drunk Female
"I think I'm... gonna miss you."
Single Drunk Female
"Well, tell you what,"
Single Drunk Female
"if you are desperate to see me,"
Single Drunk Female
"I will be at your mom's book club."
Single Drunk Female
"It's a trial period."
Single Drunk Female
"And they are on trial."
Single Drunk Female
"♪ ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"CAROL: Use the"
Single Drunk Female
"-brush. -Mm-hmm."
Single Drunk Female
"It blends it much better."
Single Drunk Female
"-Good to know. -Yes."
Single Drunk Female
"And..."
Single Drunk Female
"I would go light on that because of the little cracky lips."
Single Drunk Female
"Yes. Got it."
Single Drunk Female
"So..."
Single Drunk Female
"is today gonna be hard for you because of Joel?"
Single Drunk Female
"I don't know. Um, I don't think so."
Single Drunk Female
"Bringing a nice guy helps."
Single Drunk Female
"(chuckles) I can't wait to meet him."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, my God, I hadn't thought about that part."
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah."
Single Drunk Female
"-Lovely. -(chuckles)"
Single Drunk Female
"I'm so good at this."
Single Drunk Female
"BOB (in distance): Hello, hello, hello!"
Single Drunk Female
"It is I, Prince Charming. Just gonna put"
Single Drunk Female
"my fishing gear in the, uh, the closet, here, okay?"
Single Drunk Female
"-What?! -BOB: Love you."
Single Drunk Female
"-It's okay, it's okay. -(scoffs)"
Single Drunk Female
"-Hey, Bob? -BOB: Yes'm?"
Single Drunk Female
"So, so, fishing stuff is kind of, like, garage materials."
Single Drunk Female
"You know, the closets are, like, for fancy s... fancy things."
Single Drunk Female
"BOB: Oh. Okay, got it."
Single Drunk Female
"(whispers): Thank you."
Single Drunk Female
"-I feel so seen. -(chuckles)"
Single Drunk Female
"Any word from James?"
Single Drunk Female
"I'm sure he will be here any minute."
Single Drunk Female
"Is this a bad sign? Is he not reliable?"
Single Drunk Female
"You can be late and be reliable."
Single Drunk Female
"Yes, of course. Of course you can."
Single Drunk Female
"And he's done all that work."
Single Drunk Female
"Right? So, yes, of course."
Single Drunk Female
"-He is reliable. -(clears throat)"
Single Drunk Female
"You know what?"
Single Drunk Female
"Just in case."
Single Drunk Female
"You're giving me your keys?"
Single Drunk Female
"You got your license back."
Single Drunk Female
"Thank you."
Single Drunk Female
"Just... Fill it, give it a wash."
Single Drunk Female
"-You got it. -Thank you. Yeah."
Single Drunk Female
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