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Clips from The Cleveland Show - Our Gang (S01E01)

"Like what?"
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"I shot a kid. He was 13 years old."
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"Oh, it was dark. I couldn't see him."
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"He had a ray gun. Looked real enough."
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"When you're a rookie, they can teach you everything about being a cop..."
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"...except how to live with a mistake."
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"- Hold up. Isn't that from Die Hard? - Ahem. Yes."
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"You kind of look like the black guy in Die Hard."
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"Hold up. Were you the black guy in Die Hard?"
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"Yes."
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"Yeah, baby! - I got something to say."
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"You're cool."
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"Yeah, baby!"
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"Mm, it feels nice to me."
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"Hey, the eight of you could form a club."
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"You could call yourselves the Eight Positive Teens..."
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"...Who Are Making a Difference in Their Community."
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"Or EPTWAMADITC."
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"- Crazy Eights! - That's tight!"
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"Hooray for Cleveland, our leader."
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"Ha-ha-ha... Oh."
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"Yo, Eights. Let me holler at you."
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"I been around, seen a lot of things, know a lot of things."
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"But you know what I don't know?"
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"Ha, ha. Here. Put them on."
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"But these aren't gifts. They're an investment in your future."
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"Which will be nothing without a real-world skill."
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"But we don't know nothing about business, homes."
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"But I do. We're gonna sell a product that people can't live without."
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"How about cookies?"
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"Junior, what are you doing here?"
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"Junior's a legacy. He's in."
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"We're gonna be a cookie-selling operation."
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"And if you don't have enough to make a full batch..."
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"...just cut in some extra baking powder. No one's gonna notice."
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"And some of you will handle the distribution."
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"Street corners and bad neighborhoods are great places to push your product."
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"Give poor people something to live for."
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"And here's a little tip."
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"The first one's always free."
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"Because once you get them hooked, they're customers for life."
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"Hey, I got a cousin in Colombia who got tons of powder..."
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"- I mean baking powder. - Call him."
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"We can learn everything we need to know on the Internet..."
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"...about cooking up a batch, uh, of cookies."
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"Yeah. The Internet has a plethoras of information."
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"- I love a sugar high. - Everybody does."
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"I'm gonna be the cookie kingpin of Stoolbend."
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"Seems fine."
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"Oh, it's cracked."
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"Let's get the hell out of here."
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"Hey, Super Smurf, where are you going?"
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"Ha! I'm gonna use that one."
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"Hey, check it out, homes. Here's your cut, dawg."
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"Thank you!"
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"- What's on the menu today, son? - Snickerdoodles."
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"Snicker, please. Mm, mm."
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"It's great what you've done for these kids. Lord knows we need the extra cash."
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"But do you find all this a bit suspicious?"
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"Junior's the only one making cookies."
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"And you and the kids eat most of them."
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"But the club brings in a thousand dollars a day."
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"Hadn't thought about it."
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"I love you, baby. Ooh! Ooh!"
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"Yes, Donna. I'm making the world a little better."
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"Pay it forward, Stinky."
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"Whew."
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"Hey, I need to get some cash for the weekend."
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"Hang a left. Some of my kids are out selling."
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"Yo, A.K. What you got for me today?"
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"- This feels light. - Yeah, well, you know."
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"No, I don't know."
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"What's up, A. K?"
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"Nutty Buddies ain't selling today?"
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"People love Nutty Buddies."
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"Look at me when I'm talking to you. You holding out on me?"
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"I look like Nintendo? That why you playing me?"
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"- Huh? - All right, listen."
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"There's another club down on Avenue 49 called the Stoolbloods."
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"And they sell cookies too."
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"And they weren't too cool with us selling cookies on their corner."
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"So they stole our supplies and our money."
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"How many times I tell you, never keep the money and the supplies together."
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"Avenue 49, huh?"
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"- Go! - Go, what?"
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"- Go, please. - There you go."
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"Good evening, motherfuckers."
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"Who the hell are you?"
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"Cleveland motherfucking Brown, motherfucker."
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"Oh, did I interrupt you cooking up a batch with our baking soda?"
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"Gonna crack a few eggs in there, cup of brown sugar..."
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"Hold up."
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"His nonsensical ramblings have piqued my interest."
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"Please continue."
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"And if you come near my kids again or even think of selling on our corner..."
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"...I will wait for the first snow of winter..."
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"...so I may spell my name when I whiz on your grave."
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"Dad? Are we still going to Williams-Sonoma?"
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"In a minute. Wait in the car."
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"Good kid. Wish he'd lose the apron. Looks like Clay Aiken's sex bib."
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"You know, the Clay Aiken Christmas CD is actually pretty good."
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"Can't hold a Christmas candle to David Archuleta."
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"What did I tell you about David Archuleta?"
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"You know how much money I lost on David Archuleta?"
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"Sorry, Mobstabba. I thought you made it back on Christian Siriano."
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"No. You listen to me."
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"I ordered a big old concrete lawn goose. And I want it here tonight."
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"Somebody order a goose?"
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"Good Morgen."
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"Hey, did somebody lose this?"
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"- How'd you get that? - I simply let the Stoolbloods know..."
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"...they chose the wrong Negro to futz with."
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"Hey, C-bro. There's a few things we gotta tell you."
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"Always got time to conversate with my homies."
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"Okay, gang. What's the good word?"
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"What you believe to be a bag of flour and sugar is not."
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"- It's cocaine. - Mm-hm."
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"- And heroin. - Mm-hm."
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"Because we don't sell cookies."
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"- We sell drugs... - Okay."
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