Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Roseanne (2018) (S01E01)

"I'm gonna miss him."
Roseanne (2018)
"Um... Andrea sent you a "thank you" gift."
Roseanne (2018)
"Oh, look it. It's potpourri."
Roseanne (2018)
"You kicked up all those bad smells with all that vacuuming."
Roseanne (2018)
"We had 'em settled down real nice."
Roseanne (2018)
"It looks better than it tastes."
Roseanne (2018)
"He fakes left."
Roseanne (2018)
"Stop it."
Roseanne (2018)
"Oh! Little man flying to the hoop!"
Roseanne (2018)
"Ahhh! And the crowd goes wild!"
Roseanne (2018)
"That's the great North American"
Roseanne (2018)
"bottom-heavy white wino."
Roseanne (2018)
"some sort of cleaning ritual."
Roseanne (2018)
"when they really need something."
Roseanne (2018)
"off this table."
Roseanne (2018)
"Great, now our cold drinks"
Roseanne (2018)
"will be sitting directly on the wood."
Roseanne (2018)
"if she decides not to use me as a surrogate."
Roseanne (2018)
"you got free with a tank of gas?"
Roseanne (2018)
"You don't want her to think we're poor white trash."
Roseanne (2018)
"DARLENE: Are you sure you want her to come here?"
Roseanne (2018)
"She wants to meet you guys."
Roseanne (2018)
"Ohh! We have a family history?"
Roseanne (2018)
"Mother, have you been keeping"
Roseanne (2018)
"our glorious heritage from us?"
Roseanne (2018)
"Yeah."
Roseanne (2018)
"All of your relatives died from alcoholism."
Roseanne (2018)
"What are you doing with my pictures?"
Roseanne (2018)
"Those are the only ones where we look happy!"
Roseanne (2018)
"Also, remember..."
Roseanne (2018)
"Oh, I love this game."
Roseanne (2018)
"If you're 33, can I be an astronaut?"
Roseanne (2018)
"You live with Mom and Dad."
Roseanne (2018)
"You can't even escape"
Roseanne (2018)
"the gravitational pull of this house."
Roseanne (2018)
"And by the way, I look 33."
Roseanne (2018)
"Yeah, the only reason you look younger than me"
Roseanne (2018)
"is 'cause you're embalmed in Mike's Hard Lemonade."
Roseanne (2018)
"Where have you been?"
Roseanne (2018)
"All the bathrooms were ocupado,"
Roseanne (2018)
"so I had to "urinado" behind the casa."
Roseanne (2018)
"Gross. Why couldn't you wait?"
Roseanne (2018)
"Because I realized I'm old"
Roseanne (2018)
"Besides, it was kind of nice out there."
Roseanne (2018)
"You breathe in the fresh air... [INHALES DEEPLY]"
Roseanne (2018)
"get close to nature,"
Roseanne (2018)
"wave to the neighbors with my free hand."
Roseanne (2018)
"Oh, good job, Dad."
Roseanne (2018)
"Please don't be like this tomorrow."
Roseanne (2018)
"I know you've all seen normal people."
Roseanne (2018)
"Can you pick one and act like that?"
Roseanne (2018)
"Hey, everybody."
Roseanne (2018)
"Tomorrow's the first day at my new school."
Roseanne (2018)
"How does this look?"
Roseanne (2018)
"I feel like it's kind of plain, like it needs something."
Roseanne (2018)
"Yeah. Fast shoes and a head start."
Roseanne (2018)
"♪ ♪"
Roseanne (2018)
"First day at my old alma ma'."
Roseanne (2018)
"[CHANTING] Lanford High! So am I!"
Roseanne (2018)
"If you've got spirit..."
Roseanne (2018)
"Go..."
Roseanne (2018)
"smoke by the river!"
Roseanne (2018)
"Oh, my God."
Roseanne (2018)
"Listen, here's how you get through Lanford High."
Roseanne (2018)
"Laugh at everything Miss Cunningham says,"
Roseanne (2018)
"and tell Miss Rogers that you love Bananarama."
Roseanne (2018)
"Wait a second. These teachers are probably all dead."
Roseanne (2018)
"Well, thanks for the pep talk."
Roseanne (2018)
"I think I'm good."
Roseanne (2018)
"Do you need a hug or anything?"
Roseanne (2018)
"Do you?"
Roseanne (2018)
"Yeah, I kinda do."
Roseanne (2018)
"- You worried about Mark? - A little."
Roseanne (2018)
"Alright, well, let's hope he continues to be lucky."
Roseanne (2018)
"Oh, I almost forgot. Don't go out for soccer."
Roseanne (2018)
"The field is under the high-voltage power lines."
Roseanne (2018)
"The whole team from '85 is sterile."
Roseanne (2018)
"Oh, you didn't have to make their lunch."
Roseanne (2018)
"Oh, it's out of guilt."
Roseanne (2018)
"Your father and I had a Lunchables party"
Roseanne (2018)
"in the middle of the night."
Roseanne (2018)
"You get up to use the bathroom,"
Roseanne (2018)
"you end up having another dinner."
Roseanne (2018)
"Darlene, you talked to Mark"
Roseanne (2018)
"about wearing that outfit to school, right?"
Roseanne (2018)
"He'll be fine."
Roseanne (2018)
"He wore stuff like that all the time in Chicago."
Roseanne (2018)
"The musical?"
Roseanne (2018)
"I don't get why he's wearing clothes like that to school."
Roseanne (2018)
"And, I mean, that's... That's all I really care about."
Roseanne (2018)
"This might be a good time"
Roseanne (2018)
"to grab a snack or go pee in the yard."
Roseanne (2018)
"As a life coach,"
Roseanne (2018)
"let me share some research"
Roseanne (2018)
"that I think might be pertinent."
Roseanne (2018)
"Before the 1900s,"
Roseanne (2018)
"And then the infamous clothing industrial complex"
Roseanne (2018)
"decided that pink was for girls and blue was for boys"
Roseanne (2018)
"- If you're done... - And so, my point is..."
Roseanne (2018)
"I mean, given the choice, who knows how many children"
Roseanne (2018)
"Thank you, Aunt Jackie."
Roseanne (2018)
"Oh, and grown-ups, too, you know?"
Roseanne (2018)
"I like to light a few candles and put on some Prince"
Roseanne (2018)
"and dance in front of a mirror"
Roseanne (2018)
"wearing men's boxers and an old fishing hat."
Roseanne (2018)
"Darlene... you're his mom."
Roseanne (2018)
"that he plays dress-up around the house,"
Roseanne (2018)
"but if you care about his safety,"
Roseanne (2018)
"he's got to pretend to be someone he's not?"
Roseanne (2018)
"Yes."
Roseanne (2018)
"If I didn't do that,"
Roseanne (2018)
"we'd never be able to cash a check anywhere."
Roseanne (2018)
"and by the way, you didn't have any problem"
Roseanne (2018)
"this big a head to hold a narrow mind."
Roseanne (2018)
"if you think he isn't in for a world of hurt."
Roseanne (2018)
"Yeah, and we're totally not bigoted"
Roseanne (2018)
"You know, gay people throughout history..."
Roseanne (2018)
"The kid is nine years old."
Roseanne (2018)
"He's too young to like girls or boys yet,"
Roseanne (2018)
"Then so am I! I'm totally fine with gay."
Roseanne (2018)
Show more clips