Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Roseanne (2018) (S01E01)

"[WHISPERING] What the hell?"
Roseanne (2018)
"Shh!"
Roseanne (2018)
"[WHISPERING] Don't spook it."
Roseanne (2018)
"It appears to be doing"
Roseanne (2018)
"[LOUDER] I hear they only do this every ten years"
Roseanne (2018)
"Yeah, I need to get ten years of Cheeto dust"
Roseanne (2018)
"Come on. Andrea's coming over tomorrow."
Roseanne (2018)
"You guys could blow $50,000 for me"
Roseanne (2018)
"Could you please put away anything"
Roseanne (2018)
"She has questions about our family history."
Roseanne (2018)
"The ones that didn't drink were killed by the ones who did."
Roseanne (2018)
"I don't want her to think obesity runs in our family."
Roseanne (2018)
"So, I'm getting rid of the ones where you guys were fat."
Roseanne (2018)
"and I can do whatever I want."
Roseanne (2018)
"We finally got our red dot on the sex offenders map."
Roseanne (2018)
"♪ ♪"
Roseanne (2018)
"[DAN AND ROSEANNE LAUGHING]"
Roseanne (2018)
""Roseanne" is taped in front of a live audience."
Roseanne (2018)
"hope you die!"
Roseanne (2018)
"Wait, so you're... not nervous?"
Roseanne (2018)
"Mm. I miss when you guys were at the same school"
Roseanne (2018)
"so you could keep an eye on him."
Roseanne (2018)
"I was supposed to keep an eye on him?"
Roseanne (2018)
"He just likes to wear clothes like that sometimes."
Roseanne (2018)
"I've read a bunch of books about it,"
Roseanne (2018)
"You know, as a life coach..."
Roseanne (2018)
"there were no colors associated with gender at all."
Roseanne (2018)
"from what society has "assigned" to them."
Roseanne (2018)
"When I'm home alone sometimes,"
Roseanne (2018)
"You can get off my side now."
Roseanne (2018)
"Oh, so you're saying when he's out of the house,"
Roseanne (2018)
"I-I'm not gonna raise him that way,"
Roseanne (2018)
"when I wore basketball shorts and a Bulls jersey"
Roseanne (2018)
"Darlene, God did not give me"
Roseanne (2018)
"I'm not gay."
Roseanne (2018)
"We're not talking about gay!"
Roseanne (2018)
"more of a marathon than a sprint."
Roseanne (2018)
"Well..."
Roseanne (2018)
"[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES]"
Roseanne (2018)
"but I want to talk to you first."
Roseanne (2018)
"[SIGHS]"
Roseanne (2018)
"Okay, I'm gonna ask you something kind of adult,"
Roseanne (2018)
"Do you..."
Roseanne (2018)
"feel like you're a boy or a girl?"
Roseanne (2018)
"Well, your mom's creative, so I get that,"
Roseanne (2018)
"Well, you know it's gonna be rough on you at school, right?"
Roseanne (2018)
"Kinda scary talking to your old granny, huh?"
Roseanne (2018)
"♪ ♪"
Roseanne (2018)
"Freak!"
Roseanne (2018)
"[CHILDREN SNICKERING]"
Roseanne (2018)
"Hi, everybody."
Roseanne (2018)
"Um... I'm Mrs. Conner,"
Roseanne (2018)
"which is very cool 'cause all my other kids went here,"
Roseanne (2018)
"and they continue to lead crime-free lives."
Roseanne (2018)
"like, uh, T.J. Maxx or, um..."
Roseanne (2018)
"So, I'm counting on you guys"
Roseanne (2018)
"And if you don't,"
Roseanne (2018)
"I'm a white witch."
Roseanne (2018)
"Hi, Andrea."
Roseanne (2018)
"and, um, I am Lanford's leading life coach,"
Roseanne (2018)
"and as such, I respect the powerful process"
Roseanne (2018)
"you must be going through to build your family."
Roseanne (2018)
"My husband, Richard, and I are just so grateful"
Roseanne (2018)
"that Rebecca's willing to go on this journey with us."
Roseanne (2018)
"Thank you. I love water."
Roseanne (2018)
"Oh, I love plastic bottles"
Roseanne (2018)
"'cause when you're done with them, you just gather 'em up"
Roseanne (2018)
"and dump 'em in the lake."
Roseanne (2018)
"Hi. You must be, uh..."
Roseanne (2018)
"about your family's medical history."
Roseanne (2018)
"Oh, she means were there any medical emergencies"
Roseanne (2018)
"Thank you, Jacqueline."
Roseanne (2018)
"No, the birth part was easy."
Roseanne (2018)
"Uh, does mental illness run in your family?"
Roseanne (2018)
"Our mother was never formally diagnosed,"
Roseanne (2018)
"I'll tell you what runs in our family..."
Roseanne (2018)
"A sense of humor."
Roseanne (2018)
"Um, so, are you gonna be there"
Roseanne (2018)
"when Becky has sex with your husband, or what?"
Roseanne (2018)
"They don't do it like that."
Roseanne (2018)
"Right?"
Roseanne (2018)
"Oh, God, no! No, no, no."
Roseanne (2018)
"- will be fertilized there... - Fertilized."
Roseanne (2018)
"Okay, gotcha."
Roseanne (2018)
"I just read an article"
Roseanne (2018)
"Oh, if you're worried about me, Andrea,"
Roseanne (2018)
"Mark, go up to your room."
Roseanne (2018)
"Mom!"
Roseanne (2018)
"I knew something bad was gonna happen."
Roseanne (2018)
"I didn't tell him to bring it to school."
Roseanne (2018)
"First of all, I didn't know there were that many versions."
Roseanne (2018)
"I'm hoping it's a gateway to having pockets."
Roseanne (2018)
"If I don't get what's going on,"
Roseanne (2018)
"from Lanford is gonna do?"
Roseanne (2018)
"about the exchange student in my school,"
Roseanne (2018)
"Why don't you ask Mark"
Roseanne (2018)
"but Roseanne just found out"
Roseanne (2018)
"What idiot gave him a knife?"
Roseanne (2018)
"All I want is a down payment on a house"
Roseanne (2018)
"and a dentist who doesn't work out of his van..."
Roseanne (2018)
"Mark."
Roseanne (2018)
"No."
Roseanne (2018)
"Granny Rose already told everyone she's a witch."
Roseanne (2018)
"He said I was weird,"
Roseanne (2018)
"and he was going to tell everyone I was a girl-bot"
Roseanne (2018)
"What a loser."
Roseanne (2018)
"You know that's ridiculous, right?"
Roseanne (2018)
"no one played with me."
Roseanne (2018)
"[SIGHS] Here's the thing..."
Roseanne (2018)
"I'm weird. This whole family is really weird, right?"
Roseanne (2018)
"So, you just gotta hang in there"
Roseanne (2018)
"I don't know, but it'll happen,"
Roseanne (2018)
"and in the meantime, you just find the other weird kids"
Roseanne (2018)
"By the time the bullies make their way through to you,"
Roseanne (2018)
"of glasses, retainers, and headgear,"
Roseanne (2018)
"they'll never get over it."
Roseanne (2018)
"It's their problem."
Roseanne (2018)
"And we should all be ourselves, but if things get rough,"
Roseanne (2018)
"Well, what if that kid teases you again"
Roseanne (2018)
"or pushes you down or something?"
Roseanne (2018)
Show more clips