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Clips from American Dad! - I Can't Stan You (S02E02)

"Attention, everyone."
American Dad!
"We are opening our offices for a totally unrestricted inspection."
American Dad!
"...one of our many illegal items."
American Dad!
"First up, a life-size Margaret Thatcher robot."
American Dad!
"Europe was created by history, America by philosophy."
American Dad!
"And a machine that turns water into cocaine. I'll just hang onto this."
American Dad!
"...I'm going to go party my nose clean off my face."
American Dad!
"- Look. - What's in that one?"
American Dad!
"That almost went horribly wrong."
American Dad!
"Now, the stress of this incident has given me walking nightmares..."
American Dad!
"...whatever one of those lonic Breeze machines costs."
American Dad!
"Damn. The Lipton woman outfoxed me again."
American Dad!
"Check it out. It's so sensitive, you can hear a moth fart."
American Dad!
"I'm actually kind of hungry."
American Dad!
"Finger in a Hot Pocket. Oh, wait, still need a finger."
American Dad!
"Look at Steve, living by the sweat of his brow."
American Dad!
"You know what? You're boring me. Make it a thousand, cash."
American Dad!
"Back me up and I'll buy it for you."
American Dad!
"Steven, you're a trustworthy young man. Is your cousin on the up-and-up?"
American Dad!
"...I bought all his oranges, I bought all his walnuts, then I had him deported."
American Dad!
"Everyone knows the juiciest fruit is bought on the roadside."
American Dad!
"Stan, Francine. This is Jared, my current lover."
American Dad!
"Got you again. Deuce, deuce. Two times."
American Dad!
"...on your father's old weight bench. - Quirky."
American Dad!
"Dead kid. Mama's crying as she takes your crayon drawings off the fridge."
American Dad!
"Francine, that was just what I needed."
American Dad!
"How could he...?"
American Dad!
"Did you see Stan filling his pockets with shrimp?"
American Dad!
"And what kind of an idiot points a loaded gun at a child?"
American Dad!
"I'm surrounded by people who hate me. It's our wedding all over again."
American Dad!
"...of whatever the hell it is they sell here."
American Dad!
"Cup of your hottest coffee, please."
American Dad!
"Remember, you're the face, I'm the brain."
American Dad!
"Here they are. Wish me luck."
American Dad!
"- I think you did it. - I know I did it."
American Dad!
"- Stan Smith is... - Still a complete jackass."
American Dad!
"I mean, come on, I'm wearing other things."
American Dad!
"When caught, I framed my favorite grandfather. I don't know why I did it."
American Dad!
"Attention, neighbors. It's me again."
American Dad!
"I found a book at Barnes & Noble that says:"
American Dad!
""The path to true friendship is paved with selfless generosity.""
American Dad!
"That's lead-based paint. Don't let your kids lick it."
American Dad!
"Oh, my God, it's him."
American Dad!
"Hey, look at that dangerous pool."
American Dad!
"Johnny, happy birthday, dude."
American Dad!
"Unhand that child, underwater molester clown."
American Dad!
"You need to go."
American Dad!
"Yes, that's the only reason."
American Dad!
"I guess you and I have different definitions of "silly"."
American Dad!
"...to the CIA beach house. - The CIA has a beach house?"
American Dad!
"Charlie, Charlie, Charlie, listen to me."
American Dad!
"Charlie? Charlie? What's your name again?"
American Dad!
"That's classified, but it's gonna help a lot."
American Dad!
"- You evicted all our neighbors? - It's their fault."
American Dad!
"She's right, you're insane. This man is insane."
American Dad!
"...so you can drink kerosene and puke on yourself."
American Dad!
"...what do you say we go for one big score and then call it quits?"
American Dad!
"I'm playing at Sarah's Coffeehouse next Thursday."
American Dad!
"Plugging my new self-released CD... Real soul-searching, heavy stuff."
American Dad!
"...were forcibly dragged out in the middle of dinner."
American Dad!
"I don't need to see the cash. Well, Hannigan, what's it gonna be?"
American Dad!
"And if you don't love me, then you must hate me."
American Dad!
"Just like the neighbors."
American Dad!
"Jeez, Frank, it's called a breath mint."
American Dad!
"Well, every five years."
American Dad!
"Of course."
American Dad!
"You told me that everyone's either a sucker, a crook, or just plain greedy."
American Dad!
"As for you, old friend, I think you'll like Mexico."
American Dad!
"It's a lot like America, on Opposite Day."
American Dad!
"So the face becomes the brain..."
American Dad!
"Johnny, you saved my life."
American Dad!
"Mr. Smith, people talk smack about each other all the time."
American Dad!
"- You're not the only one. - I'm not?"
American Dad!
"Come with me."
American Dad!
"I felt like Jane Goodall just talking to her."
American Dad!
"Lisa Collins is such a skank."
American Dad!
"You, me."
American Dad!
"Wow, Johnny, you're right."
American Dad!
"Everyone hates everyone. So I'm not despised."
American Dad!
"I gotta say, I've lived in this neighborhood a long time..."
American Dad!
"- You're an ass, Mr. Smith. - And you're funny looking."
American Dad!
"We're pals."
American Dad!
"Therefore, each of you will need to take home and hide..."
American Dad!
"I hope ponies are illegal."
American Dad!
"- Sir, sir, over here. - Sanders, she's all yours."
American Dad!
"- Yes. - Oh, man."
American Dad!
"The mouth on this one."
American Dad!
"Okay, next, God's autograph."
American Dad!
"Enjoy."
American Dad!
"Now, if you'll excuse me..."
American Dad!
"Oh, it's a disintegrator? I thought it was a penis enlarger."
American Dad!
"Madam... Madam."
American Dad!
"Okay, I'll just let you talk."
American Dad!
"Oh, you done? Okay, I will repeat myself one more time."
American Dad!
"I was making my grandchildren some of your French onion soup."
American Dad!
"I poured the contents of the can into a saucepan..."
American Dad!
"...and out plops a human finger."
American Dad!
"...street terrors, diabetes and hysterical pregnancy."
American Dad!
"Now, I am going to require a substantial cash settlement..."
American Dad!
"...somewhere in the amount of..."
American Dad!
"My address is... Huh?"
American Dad!
"Do I have the finger?"
American Dad!
"- Honey, look what I got. - Oh, what is that stuff?"
American Dad!
"It's CIA-grade, high-tech, highly illegal surveillance equipment."
American Dad!
"Very fun, Stan, but we really need to get going to the Memaris' barbecue."
American Dad!
"Or we could sit here in our underpants, drink Scotch, and listen to the barbecue."
American Dad!
"You're right, it wouldn't be fair to the neighbors."
American Dad!
"I'll stop by and make their week."
American Dad!
"Turn the chicken crap they call their lives into chicken salad."
American Dad!
"The good kind, with grapes."
American Dad!
"Whoa, moth, what the hell did you eat, a poncho?"
American Dad!
"Get it? Because Mexican clothes are like Mexican food for moths."
American Dad!
"What else can I do? What else can l...? Oh, I got it."
American Dad!
"Working hard to earn an honest buck."
American Dad!
"- Doing a bang-up job, son. - Thank you, Mr. Hallworthy."
American Dad!
"I'm going to a neighborhood party. Not sure if I'm invited."
American Dad!
"There, I've done it. I'm an old man and I've said a crazy thing."
American Dad!
"Oh, my God, I have fallen."
American Dad!
"- Roger, are you okay? - No."
American Dad!
"Yes. Play along. I'm gonna squeeze this old coot for some quick cashish."
American Dad!
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