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Clips from The Beverly Hillbillies - Season 1- Episode 5

"Well now Jethro, tell us exactly what happened with Ms. Drysdale."
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"Well, I come around the side of the house,"
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"Turns out it was Ms. Drysdale."
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"and I said, "Step aside, lady, and I'll shoot it!""
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"Well, instead of that, she whipped around and throwed that thing in the air,"
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"No wonder she fainted dead away."
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"She was out like a light."
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"She was stewed to the gills."
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"- Granny. - You said it took two men to get her back in the car."
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"'Cause them kind of people are liable to do anything."
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"- What was her husband called it, Granny? - A hypochondriac."
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"Yeah. That means she drinks a little."
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"The doctor says she will sleep for several hours. He gave her a sedative."
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"Oh, she insisted that he have a sedative, too."
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"That poor doggy is probably the first canine hypochondriac."
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"What's that?"
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"The tree outside the window. It completely obscures her view of the Clampett estate."
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"It shall not happen."
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"The Clampetts have agreed to accompany me to Palm Springs."
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"Fine, Fine. Now you keep them there until I get Margaret back to Boston."
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"Can do and will do."
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"Now you can pitch in and help us get her cured."
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"Yep. I'll need you to help find the makin's for my soberin' up mash."
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"Folks don't run off and leave the neighbors when they's in trouble."
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"sourdot, skunk oil, chimney soot, spiderwebs, horse mint, snakewort,"
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"pepper leaves, chicken gizzards, stump water, coal oil,"
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"slippery elm ooze, and turpentine. And a few more things that's secret."
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"Granny? You use a live toad?"
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"That's just for testing. I give it a swallerto see how far it jumps."
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"Last time Granny used the soberin' up mash, set a new record."
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"Clean over the top of Elvernie Bradshaw's clothesline."
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"That's tall jumpin' for a toad!"
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"Oh, this wasn't no toad. This was Elvernie's husband, Homer."
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"It was him Granny was soberin' up."
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"you'd best put on some old clothes."
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"After Mrs. Drysdale takes my soberin' up mash, she has to have fresh goat's milk"
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"-"
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"Well, I reckon Jethro can borrow some."
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"Everybody 'cept us. We ain't even got a cow!"
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"- Nor pigs neither! - Nor chickens!"
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"You're supposed to be so dag blamed rich!"
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"I reckon it is high time I was stockin' this place."
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"Even Mr. Drysdale's been after me to buy some cattle."
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"- Well, good for him. - Yeah, just the other day he says to me,"
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"he says, "Mr. Clampett! You've got 25 million dollars in cash."
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"You ought to put some of that money into stock!""
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"Jethro, did you ever find out where that's coming from?"
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"- This time I'm gonna find it for sure! - Good huntin'."
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"(doorbell chimes musically)"
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"(knocks with doorknocker)"
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"Howdy, Miss Hathaway!"
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"- But, but-- - Please?"
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"- How about calling me Jane? - I like that better."
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"No, ma'am. Uncle Jed and me's going to town and buy some stock."
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"- Stock? - Yes, ma'am."
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"he'd ought to put some of his money into stock."
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"But you needn't waste time driving into town."
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"You can order your stock by telephone."
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"Now here are Mr. Drysdale's recommendations."
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"He doesn't want your Uncle Jed to get a bum steer."
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"- It pays to be cautious in a bull market. - You gotta be careful with cows, too."
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"to drive and meet me there? Jethro?"
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"- Yes, ma'am! - Would you like to drive your own car?"
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"I have typed out explicit directions."
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"I've even drawn a map showing the exact location of the hotel."
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"- They have a lovely pool. And, Jethro-- - Yes, ma'am?"
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"- I'm taking a bikini to Palm Springs. - Is that faster than a train?"
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"- You Tarzan. Me Jane. - No, ma'am. I'm Jethro Bodine."
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"- And I almost hate to see you change. - I ain't gonna change."
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"Someday, I shall introduce you as Jethro Bodine, BA, MA, PhD."
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"(relaxing music)"
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"All I know is, this is the kind of stock Mr. Drysdale thinks is good."
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"What's that say?"
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"(slowly) I - B - M."
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"What's that spell?"
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""I-bum.""
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"What's an "i-bum"?"
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"I don't know."
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"Usses?"
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"Well that's what's wrote there. USS"
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"It might be it ain't Mr. Drysdale's fault."
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"That's right, a pair of goats, three pigs,"
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"Don't have to. Miss Hathaway says just call on the telephone"
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"Hm now, ain't that nice."
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"Hello?"
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"Jed. I watched that banker feller."
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"You have to stick your finger in them holes"
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"and spin her a while."
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"Figure that'll do it."
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"Oh, howdy, ma'am. This here is Jed Clampett."
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"What number do you wish?"
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"Number? Oh, uh, a couple of goats,"
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"Well thank you, ma'am, I appreciate all the information you can give me."
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"Perhaps I'd better connect you with a supervisor."
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"Two heads is better than one!"
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"Supervisor speaking. May I help you?"
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"but the number I want to start with"
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"is a couple of goats, three pigs, four cows, a bull, a mule,"
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"and a dozen chickens."
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"(music)"
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"she can milk this here goat."
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"but the evil of drinking sure laid a heavy hand on his heart."
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"You take a drink now and then, Granny."
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"(knocking)"
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"while I spoon the soberin' up mash down him."
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"Make sure you don't cut off her wind. Then she can't breathe."
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"- Yes? - Howdy! We've come to see Ms. Drysdale."
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"I'm sorry madam, but Mrs. Drysdale cannot be disturbed."
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"Oh, that must have been her maiden name."
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"You're taking care of her, are ya?"
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"Who shall I say calls?"
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"We've come to see Mrs. Drysdale."
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"Mrs. Drysdale is indisposed, madam. She is not receiving."
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"Oh, still sleeping it off, huh?"
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"When she comes to, you just spoon half of this down her"
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"and then stand back."
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"It won't bite ya'. We'll be back later with the goat's milk."
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"We are managing, thank you."
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"I am a butler!"
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"Want me to haul him out of there, Granny, and wrestle him down?"
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