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Clips from New Girl - Menzies (S02E02)

"Whatever?"
New Girl
"I will push if I wanna push! Come on!"
New Girl
"I need to change, and you showed me that."
New Girl
"- Got a story for you guys. - Ooh."
New Girl
"- And I got that menstruation inside of me. - Winston, men can't get their periods."
New Girl
"- Okay. - It's like a character in a Judy Blume novel."
New Girl
"Good, we got a lot of feelings going around."
New Girl
"I think it's really inspiring that they've chosen to go back to school..."
New Girl
"It's been two years."
New Girl
"I would never run away."
New Girl
"And I'm fast."
New Girl
"Let's not do this."
New Girl
"[SIGHS]"
New Girl
"Okay. Keep those underwear on, am I right? Heh-heh-heh."
New Girl
"Stay on. Underwear good."
New Girl
"Don't feel like being yelled at, so I'm gonna leave."
New Girl
"Bail, bail, bail."
New Girl
"- Relax. Relax! - Aah! Unh!"
New Girl
"I'm ready. All right. Oh, yeah."
New Girl
"- I mean... - Because legally, you can't."
New Girl
"[MUSIC TURNED OFF]"
New Girl
"Okay, gas, electric, and cable..."
New Girl
"...comes out to 219.34."
New Girl
"Jessica, do you have anything to contribute?"
New Girl
"- They're not all legal tenders... - There we go."
New Girl
"...but they have value, like... - Sure."
New Girl
"- That's five dollars. - Five."
New Girl
"- Library card... Library's not just for books. - Library card."
New Girl
"JESS: You can check out CDs. - This is a fortune."
New Girl
""You are lucky and success.""
New Girl
"How ironic. That's going right to the gas company. Paid in full."
New Girl
"Jess, we can't keep covering for you."
New Girl
"I understand, it's just that, um..."
New Girl
"...recently I went through a, uh, life change, where I was fired."
New Girl
"Maybe I can borrow the money from my good friend..."
New Girl
"...Winston? - I really wish I could..."
New Girl
"...but, uh, I'm a single man now, so basically..."
New Girl
"...I have to be able to trick women into thinking I can buy them stuff."
New Girl
"Okay! Here is my share."
New Girl
"To the penny, yeah!"
New Girl
"- I'm not the poorest! - Second. Now you're the poorest."
New Girl
"- Gotta be rock bottom. - I got it."
New Girl
"I'm shutting off the gas until you can get me the money."
New Girl
"- What? - Don't scapegoat me."
New Girl
"- I just gave you money! - It's called tough love."
New Girl
"No more handouts. What are you gonna do about it?"
New Girl
"I got an idea, get a job!"
New Girl
"School's already started. I have a lot of decisions to make about my resume."
New Girl
"I have to choose a font, spacing, columns..."
New Girl
"Just update your résumé, you ninny."
New Girl
"- Did you call me a ninny? - Yeah!"
New Girl
"- Because you're acting like a ninny! - Don't call me a ninny, I'm PMSing."
New Girl
"- Yucky. - Oh, no, I don't wanna hear that."
New Girl
"I feel like I've laid a million eggs and they're all hatching."
New Girl
"I feel like I wanna murder someone and also I want soft pretzels."
New Girl
"- You know, I feel the same way. - Shut up!"
New Girl
"Shut up, you, because I don't wanna hear it!"
New Girl
"I've had it. If any of you cross me, I'm gonna kick the testicles clean off your body."
New Girl
"Clean off! You'll look like Ken Dolls down there."
New Girl
"Because that's where I'm at right now."
New Girl
"Now, which one of you guys wants to tell me..."
New Girl
"...to get a job? Hmm?"
New Girl
"Who wants to look me in the face..."
New Girl
"...and tell me to get a job?"
New Girl
"Whatever."
New Girl
"- What does that mean? Huh? - Whatever."
New Girl
"It better mean "whatever you say, Jess.""
New Girl
"I don't think it's fair that women have an excuse once a month to act irrationally angry..."
New Girl
"...when the rest of us have to keep it together. - You're irrationally angry 365 days a year."
New Girl
"What are you talking about?"
New Girl
"[GRUNTS]"
New Girl
"[GRUNTING]"
New Girl
"I hate doors!"
New Girl
"That's just your personal opinion."
New Girl
"I don't have anger issues. You guys think I do?"
New Girl
"I wouldn't exactly call it an issue, an issue's something you can fix."
New Girl
"You been that way since I can remember."
New Girl
"This is some watered-down nonsense. You're some no good shysters!"
New Girl
"Unrelated note, I've just decided to take a walk."
New Girl
"Fine, leave!"
New Girl
"Now, if you'll excuse me..."
New Girl
"...I'm gonna go get a job like it's my..."
New Girl
"- Job? - Shut up!"
New Girl
"- [SINGING] Who's that girl? CHORUS: Who's that girl?"
New Girl
"Please don't do that, sir. Please, I'd love to sit by myself right now."
New Girl
"There's something real creepy about you, pal. You wanna get weird? Let's get weird."
New Girl
"You got a nice face."
New Girl
"Anger problem? Living with them, are you kidding me?"
New Girl
"It's frustrating. It's, like, just get a job. I like your hat."
New Girl
"I like how it's not a team or a logo, it's just blue."
New Girl
"Would you rather be covered in fish scales or feathers?"
New Girl
"Scales? Why, you weirdo? You wanna see me jump really high?"
New Girl
"[BOTH LAUGHING]"
New Girl
"I'm afraid of dying, man."
New Girl
"Who am I?!"
New Girl
"The enemy is in me, the enemy is the inner me."
New Girl
"- Ha-ha-ha! - Do you understand a word I'm saying?"
New Girl
"You just nod at everything. Ha-ha-ha!"
New Girl
"I have an anger problem."
New Girl
"Thank you. Can I get a hug?"
New Girl
"I met someone at work."
New Girl
"Emma Sharp, divisional VP of all North America. What are you doing in the break room?"
New Girl
"This break room is in North America, isn't it? That means I'm the vice president of it."
New Girl
"I am the vice president of everything in North America."
New Girl
"Sounds like sexual harassment."
New Girl
"Robby, there's a fine line between that and something awesome."
New Girl
"Thought you hated your coworkers, you said..."
New Girl
"Pant-suited corporate she-hulks? I know."
New Girl
"Emma is the craziest woman to ever hit on me."
New Girl
"Schmidt, you're such a nice guy. You deserve a girl who respects you."
New Girl
"- A nice girl. - I'm not into the nice thing."
New Girl
"- Doesn't do it for me. - I thought so too."
New Girl
"Until I found, uh, this one right here."
New Girl
"- Heh. You mean Cece? - You think that I'm nice?"
New Girl
"No, I think you're the nicest."
New Girl
"CECE: Hmm."
New Girl
"- Robby. - Heh-heh-heh."
New Girl
"Yes, the man just left. He turned off the gas."
New Girl
"I'm refusing to pay my gas bill as a matter of principle."
New Girl
"You'd like me to take the survey? Of course I'll take it."
New Girl
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