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Clips from The League (2009) - The Shiva Bowl (S01E01)

"So, what do you wanna do this weekend, Shiva?"
The League (2009)
"Like, in and out of prison, I'm pretty sure."
The League (2009)
"You know, no one's saying anything, - AIDS."
The League (2009)
"- You mean Ruxin? - Yeah, Rodney."
The League (2009)
"- Yeah, should I not call him that now? - Ha, ha, ha. Rodney."
The League (2009)
"No, you definitely... You must call him."
The League (2009)
"Shiva. It's always been Shiva. It always will be Shiva."
The League (2009)
"Because people wouldn't give a normal person change."
The League (2009)
"Oh, my God. That's where she found her sexuality."
The League (2009)
"Take down your pants..."
The League (2009)
"Okay? This is our secret. It's how we have to play it."
The League (2009)
"- Okay, all right. - Let's celebrate, shots, shots."
The League (2009)
"- You mean you're too drunk to drive? - Bingo."
The League (2009)
"Because I have premium-plus service, which means I get 200 miles of free towing."
The League (2009)
"Hey, hey, hey. Check it out, check it out."
The League (2009)
"If it worked, we'd be playing in the Super Bowl."
The League (2009)
"- Give it to me. - Numb nuts."
The League (2009)
"All right, it's weird. You got a trophy with my girlfriend's face on it."
The League (2009)
"This is the Shiva. Your girlfriend is Shiva."
The League (2009)
"- Completely different. - It is not."
The League (2009)
"- Oh, hey, what's up, boys? - Hey."
The League (2009)
"No problem. No problem."
The League (2009)
"- Shiva Bowl. - Super Bowl."
The League (2009)
"Great. That's enough."
The League (2009)
"- Oh, shit. - What's "oh, shit"?"
The League (2009)
"You cannot come back until you have gainful employment."
The League (2009)
"All right, fine. I'll get a job."
The League (2009)
"His second touchdown today."
The League (2009)
"Andre is beating you and I am helping."
The League (2009)
"I gotta change the energy up."
The League (2009)
"- Who's up for a field trip? - Where?"
The League (2009)
"Game?"
The League (2009)
"- That has a nice ring to it. - Strange."
The League (2009)
"I like the new pad. Nice."
The League (2009)
"Yeah, and I really like it."
The League (2009)
"- Absolutely. - I will get you one."
The League (2009)
"- Taco, oh, my gosh. - Thank you."
The League (2009)
"No, no, no, you take nothing. Nothing."
The League (2009)
"- Kevin, hold it. - Oh, Shiva!"
The League (2009)
"- I didn't hear anything, you hear anything? - I don't know what he did."
The League (2009)
"- Thank you so much. - Put that back."
The League (2009)
"Same thing. Thank you. Thank you."
The League (2009)
"Oh, you think she'd check my prostate if I asked?"
The League (2009)
"Oh, no, no, no!"
The League (2009)
"I don't even know where she lives."
The League (2009)
"If you ever own a huge toy company..."
The League (2009)
"His testicles, I'm sure, are fine."
The League (2009)
"- I'm not sure this ball-fondling is on the up... - Testicles."
The League (2009)
"Testicle fondling is on the up and up."
The League (2009)
"- Why else would he be here? - Yes, Andre."
The League (2009)
"...if I was not concerned about the welfare of my testicles?"
The League (2009)
"If this makes it easier, if you wanna stay and watch, you know, that's fine."
The League (2009)
"I mean, I wouldn't mind getting a second pair of eyes on these pair."
The League (2009)
"That's great."
The League (2009)
"Oh, Lord. The king is dead. Ha, ha, ha."
The League (2009)
"I hate my friends!"
The League (2009)
"So if we're gonna talk prices, this model is the deluxe model, little more expensive."
The League (2009)
"Oh, Taco, you goddamn idiot. I'm gonna..."
The League (2009)
"Ugh! I should have used a fake name."
The League (2009)
"This is by far the most destructive season ever."
The League (2009)
"- You took that from her house? - Yeah."
The League (2009)
"Taco, you don't need silverware. You got a job now."
The League (2009)
"Shivakamini Somakandarkram, hey!"
The League (2009)
"Shivakamini Somakandarkram, hey!"
The League (2009)
"I've been thinking, I wanna see the guys from high school."
The League (2009)
"The guys from high school? Why would you wanna see them?"
The League (2009)
"These guys, they're degenerates."
The League (2009)
"I mean, Pete..."
The League (2009)
"- What? - Yeah, yeah."
The League (2009)
"And Kevin, oh, he's lost all this weight."
The League (2009)
"Okay. What about Rodney?"
The League (2009)
"No, I just haven't heard anyone call him that."
The League (2009)
"I will when I see them."
The League (2009)
"- Why are we doing this? - I wanna see them, come on."
The League (2009)
"- No, no. - It'd be so much fun."
The League (2009)
"- Please? - Oh, oh, my goodness."
The League (2009)
"- Really? - Mm-hm."
The League (2009)
"Oh, Shiva, oh."
The League (2009)
"Oh, Shiva."
The League (2009)
"I wanna snuggle with you and rub off your luck all over my face and balls."
The League (2009)
"Oh, I wanna kneel down in front of you and just savage your downstairs parts."
The League (2009)
"I wanna ride tandem bicycles with you."
The League (2009)
"Oh, Shiva, I want to cut your hair and style it."
The League (2009)
"Shiva, I like you so hard."
The League (2009)
"- You like her so hard? - Yeah."
The League (2009)
"It's you and me in the Shiva Bowl. You should be worshiping her."
The League (2009)
"Gives me a different perspective. This is the end of the Shiva year."
The League (2009)
"Why don't we change it? Next year, we'll call it "trophy.""
The League (2009)
"Oh, Shiva, I wanna stuff myself inside of you until I ejaculate."
The League (2009)
"What? Come on."
The League (2009)
"I'm telling you, I've done the research."
The League (2009)
"Facts are facts."
The League (2009)
"You wanna find a hot woman, look to the Volkswagen Jetta."
The League (2009)
"Chances are, there'll be one inside."
The League (2009)
"- How do you conduct research? - Three days."
The League (2009)
"I got disguised as a homeless person, and I walked downtown."
The League (2009)
"And whenever I saw a Volkswagen Jetta, I did a little check on a banana leaf."
The League (2009)
"And 92 percent of the time, hot women inside the Volkswagen Jettas."
The League (2009)
"Why'd you dress up like a homeless person, Taco?"
The League (2009)
"Boys, let's get to it here."
The League (2009)
"- Offering time. - Homage time."
The League (2009)
"- Oh, oh, I have something. I'll be back. - Oh, boy."
The League (2009)
"Well, let me go first, guys. The rope."
The League (2009)
"Not unlike the one that you so thoroughly enjoyed in gym class."
The League (2009)
"Just going up and then down the rope. And then up and then shorter down."
The League (2009)
"- I think you're exaggerating a little bit. - All right, guys, this is my offering."
The League (2009)
"Shivakamini"
The League (2009)
"Wanna put my weenie in your vagini"
The League (2009)
"Yeah, yeah. No, I actually wanna win this thing this year."
The League (2009)
"- No. - You didn't even make the playoffs, Taco."
The League (2009)
"- What? - Andre, please."
The League (2009)
"- You're up. - Before I do, I wanna tell you something."
The League (2009)
"- You coming out of the closet? - No."
The League (2009)
"- I have a girlfriend. - What's his name?"
The League (2009)
"Okay, you know what, you guys want an offering? Fine."
The League (2009)
"To my goddess Shiva, I return the Shiva's panties."
The League (2009)
"- Uh... No. - Whose underwear are those?"
The League (2009)
"Shivakamini Somakandarkram."
The League (2009)
"Oh, who's he?"
The League (2009)
"- Shiva. It's the Shiva. - Shiva?"
The League (2009)
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