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Clips from MacGyver - Awl (S01E01)

"You call this lucky, bro?"
MacGyver
"You have any idea how hard it is"
MacGyver
"to get bloodstains out of calfskin?"
MacGyver
"Hey, unless you start telling us everything you know about D-77,"
MacGyver
"your luck's about to get a lot worse, I can tell you that much."
MacGyver
"I'm a glorified accountant, bro."
MacGyver
"What do you want me to tell you,"
MacGyver
"that I put them in large blend index funds"
MacGyver
"so they can ensure steady growth?"
MacGyver
"Jack, he's got a sucking chest wound."
MacGyver
"I got to find a way to seal it."
MacGyver
"Where's the duct tape when you need it, right?"
MacGyver
"This car's worth more than your house."
MacGyver
"Oh, as soon as you're done"
MacGyver
"saving his life, I'm gonna kill him."
MacGyver
"You hear that, smart-ass?"
MacGyver
"I'm already dressed for a funeral."
MacGyver
"Guys, satellite picked up gunfire near Ralph's house."
MacGyver
"Is everything okay?"
MacGyver
"Y-Yeah."
MacGyver
"Oh, God, there's blood everywhere."
MacGyver
"That doesn't sound fine."
MacGyver
"How's the package?"
MacGyver
"He just, he got kind of shot."
MacGyver
"He what?"
MacGyver
"Yeah, yeah, no biggie. Just in the shoulder."
MacGyver
"Yeah, but the part of his shoulder"
MacGyver
"that's kind of his chest."
MacGyver
"Listen, D-77 knows you have Ralph."
MacGyver
"We need to assume they're going to"
MacGyver
"move up their timetable rather than passing up a payday."
MacGyver
"And we have even less time to stop them."
MacGyver
"And we don't even know where they're gonna strike."
MacGyver
"I don't feel so good, bro."
MacGyver
"Here, take this."
MacGyver
"Yeah, uh, hey, hey, hey, Patti, it's Jack."
MacGyver
"We're gonna have to call you back, okay?"
MacGyver
"Hey, wallet."
MacGyver
"I've seen my share of life-and-death situations,"
MacGyver
"and if there's a key to living through them, it's this:"
MacGyver
"don't panic."
MacGyver
"If you can force yourself to take a minute,"
MacGyver
"breathe and actually think,"
MacGyver
"the solution's generally right in front of you."
MacGyver
"In this case, literally."
MacGyver
"A hole in the lungs can fill the chest with air,"
MacGyver
"making it impossible to breathe."
MacGyver
"The trick is to let the air out"
MacGyver
"while keeping everything else in."
MacGyver
"In hospitals, they use a needle with a one-way valve."
MacGyver
"But in the field, a driver's license vent seal"
MacGyver
"Might sting a little."
MacGyver
"Are you a doctor?"
MacGyver
"Not even a little."
MacGyver
"Oh, God, I'm gonna die."
MacGyver
"Hey, Mac, our patient still alive?"
MacGyver
"- And kicking. - No."
MacGyver
"Do not play country music on my radio."
MacGyver
"It's an affront to everything this car stands for."
MacGyver
"Oh, is that right?"
MacGyver
"Well, unless you figure out how to connect D-77's spending"
MacGyver
"to the location of their next attack,"
MacGyver
"it's country music all the way home, Curly-Q."
MacGyver
"I ain't even turned it up yet."
MacGyver
"I told you, they draw lump sums to a Cayman account."
MacGyver
"it goes from there, all right?"
MacGyver
"Any luck finding a doctor?"
MacGyver
"Tracked down the best doctor on the island."
MacGyver
"Which wasn't easy, since it's his day off."
MacGyver
"Got a lock on his cell signal."
MacGyver
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, no."
MacGyver
""Best on the island" doesn't mean much."
MacGyver
"How many Yelp stars does he have?"
MacGyver
"Hey, you're gonna be"
MacGyver
"seeing Yelp stars if you don't shut up."
MacGyver
"You shut up."
MacGyver
"so the doctor can take a look."
MacGyver
"Sweet. Not at all gross."
MacGyver
"Hey, Mac, I think I got him."
MacGyver
"Dr. Megat?"
MacGyver
"Hi. My name is Riley."
MacGyver
"Uh, guys... we have a problem."
MacGyver
"Yeah, so do we."
MacGyver
"The sniper's on our tail. Hang on."
MacGyver
"Faster would be good."
MacGyver
"I'm flooring it. This car sucks."
MacGyver
"I don't know if your plan is to make me throw up,"
MacGyver
"Like Ralph, a lot of people"
MacGyver
"spend their lives focused on the wrong thing."
MacGyver
"Normally, it's a bad habit."
MacGyver
"But it was exactly what I needed"
MacGyver
"the sniper chasing us to do."
MacGyver
"You making a bomb? Hmm?"
MacGyver
"'Cause if you're making a bomb, that would be awesome."
MacGyver
"Wait, shouldn't you..."
MacGyver
"you be throwing the bomb?"
MacGyver
"Because it's not a bomb."
MacGyver
"The headrest is made of flame-resistant foam,"
MacGyver
"so it'll never burn, but it'll smoke like crazy."
MacGyver
"Great."
MacGyver
"Hey, maybe we should, uh,"
MacGyver
"talk about some short-term goals,"
MacGyver
"'cause now I think you're just making it easier"
MacGyver
"for them to tail us."
MacGyver
"Aw, sweet!"
MacGyver
"Smoked 'em."
MacGyver
"Don't. Don't what?"
MacGyver
"Mac, I'm here with the doctor."
MacGyver
"If you don't act out a bicoastal"
MacGyver
"breast plumbing procedure,"
MacGyver
"Now."
MacGyver
"Okay."
MacGyver
"Doc said Ralph needs surgery now."
MacGyver
"Oh, God."
MacGyver
"Something's wrong. Like, really wrong."
MacGyver
"Okay, just tell us where to meet so the doctor..."
MacGyver
"No, like, now, now, now!"
MacGyver
"Doc said he's surprised Ralph hadn't crashed already."
MacGyver
"He'll be dead in about four minutes"
MacGyver
"unless you do the surgery now."
MacGyver
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