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Clips from The Office - Grief Counseling (S03E03)

"Yeah. Is there anything I can do?"
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"Oh, gosh. What can anybody do, really? It's..."
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"Yeah."
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"Oh, okay."
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"Oh, yeah, definitely."
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"Oh, nothing. We're just out of Herr's chips."
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"That's where you're wrong."
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"and I have just decided that we're not doing anything"
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"You knew that."
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"That is the way to go. Instant death, very smart."
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"What are you doing?"
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"That is not a statue. That is a robot."
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"You know what, Michael, I have really tried with you today"
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"and I have to get back to work."
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"Oh, do you? So..."
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"Never pegged you for a quitter."
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"I am not a quitter. I will do this all day if you want."
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"Yeah, all day."
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"I have no idea."
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"And then we checked the fax machine. Yeah, nothing there."
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"Did you check your butt?"
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"but I did and now I can't stop picturing it."
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"and, if not acceptance, then just depression."
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"and dropped it into a bucket of boiling tears."
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"How are you liking the new car?"
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"Great."
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"You have them in the warehouse? Great. What is my store number?"
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"Phyllis, you want to give it a shot?"
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"When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later,"
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"Oh, yes, Stanley, come on."
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"Okay,"
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"I'm going to toss the ball to Pam."
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"Anyway, she was injured in a fight, and she was paralyzed."
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"Do you want to talk about it any more?"
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"Do you think that this is a game?"
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"The guy who had my job has died and nobody cares!"
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"And he sat at my desk."
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"I know this is hard for you, but death's just a part of life."
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"Michael."
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"A dead bird should not be in the kitchen."
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"but that is what you do when things die. You honor them."
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"Nope."
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"What is the matter with you? Is that the beak?"
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"Oh, thank you."
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"If you want to do something for the funeral. Yes, please."
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"Always."
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"Did I wake up this morning thinking I'd be throwing together a bird funeral?"
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"who referred me to the vending machine company,"
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"Glad you could all make it."
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"You told us we had to."
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"Dwight, do you have the box?"
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"When I was five, my mom told me that my fish went to the hospital"
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"But you know what? I don't think he was being stupid."
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"we can't help but notice that he was by himself when he died,"
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"Hey, Ryan,"
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"can I get you a pencil from the warehouse?"
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"Oh, no, thanks. I'm good."
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"Well, it's okay. I'm going down."
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"Yeah. Absolutely."
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"All right, I'll be right back."
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"(LAUGHING)"
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"Awesome."
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"Thank you. You're welcome."
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"Michael, could you get me a pen from down in the warehouse?"
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"Don't mind if I do."
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"See you in a minute."
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"Okay!"
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"(LAUGHING)"
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"There you go, fresh from the warehouse."
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"Hey, Michael, would you get me some coffee from the warehouse?"
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"There's coffee in the kitchen, Pam."
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"But the warehouse coffee tastes so much better."
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"Yeah. It's better."
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"Okay. Great."
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"I am like Bette Midler in For The Boys. Gotta keep the troops entertained."
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"With cream and sugar?"
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"All right."
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"JAN: So, I wanted to let you know that we lost Ed Truck."
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"Okay, let me see if I have his cell."
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"Is this the only reason you are calling, Jan, or does somebody miss me?"
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"Michael, Ed died over the weekend."
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"Oh, wow."
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"Attention, everybody!"
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"with some news that they felt that I should know first."
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"My old boss, Ed Truck, has died."
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"Oh, Michael, that's such terrible news. You must feel so sad."
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"Yes, I am. It's very sad,"
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"because he was my boss."
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"Oh, that's a shame. Ed was a good guy."
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"That's right. You worked with him. So did Creed."
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"Well, I'll be in my office in case anybody wants to drop by,"
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"cheer me up."
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"So, did you hear the news?"
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"The news that you just announced, that Ed died?"
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"He was almost 70. Circle of life."
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"Yeah."
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"Okay."
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"What's going on with Fairfield County Schools?"
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"Karen, did you generate that price list?"
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"Shoot. I will. I'm sorry."
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"Okay, just get it done. Jim, will you make sure?"
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"(COUGHS) Suck up!"
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"Josh, did you hear what I said?"
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"Thank you, everyone."
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"Damn it."
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"What's up?"
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"But don't worry about it."
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"My snack food doesn't fall under the umbrella of your authority."
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"I'm your project supervisor today"
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"until you get the chips that you require."
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"So I think we should go get some."
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"It's a real shame about Ed, huh?"
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"Yeah."
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"Must really have you thinking."
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"About what?"
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"The older you get, the bigger the chance is you're gonna die."
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"Ed was decapitated."
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"What? Really?"
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"He was drunk as a skunk, he was flying down Route 6,"
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"he slides under an eighteen-wheeler, pop, it snaps right off."
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