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Clips from American Dad! (2005) - Comedy (S01E01)

"and our darling Squeaky Fromme decides to assassinate my career."
American Dad! (2005)
"but it's a smartjoke and the fans have come to expect that from us."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Why didn't you stand up for her? - He's my boss."
American Dad! (2005)
"Know how much butt kissing it'll take to undo this?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- This scene really sets up the key conflict... - What the hell are you doing?"
American Dad! (2005)
"It's something to do while I'm waiting to die of fin rot."
American Dad! (2005)
"Look what I found."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Dick Cheney's BlackBerry. - Oh, my God, I smell shenanigans."
American Dad! (2005)
"It's four o'clock in the bloody morning. Hello?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Speaking. - Guess what? Chicken butt!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Morning, sir. I ran a few errands for you. - Oh, well..."
American Dad! (2005)
"I shined your super-large shoes, you stallion,"
American Dad! (2005)
"That's one lucky lady. Huh?"
American Dad! (2005)
"I mean, why else would you?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- You slept with my daughter? - To be perfectly honest,"
American Dad! (2005)
"neither of us did very much "sleeping"."
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, God. You shot him! He's dead. Somebody help!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Smith? Are you OK?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Wait a minute. That guy wasn't blind. He saw my gun. Dammit!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- What the hell do you think you're? - Avery called to apologise for what he said."
American Dad! (2005)
"He challenges me, and he has a huge..."
American Dad! (2005)
"Penis! I mean, Hayley. I was trying to cut you off before..."
American Dad! (2005)
"I was gonna say "heart", but, well, you shined his shoes."
American Dad! (2005)
"Here we are. I hope this isn't a problem, old chum."
American Dad! (2005)
"If you think I'm gonna stand by and let you..."
American Dad! (2005)
"Promotion! Your promotion - I think it's time we start talking seriously about it."
American Dad! (2005)
"Really? That's great."
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, man. Cheney's BlackBerry. Here, call India."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Savages. - Hello? India? Yeah, it's Pakistan."
American Dad! (2005)
"Yeah. Yeah, that's me wiping my butt with it."
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, and FYI, I'm punching a cow right now. That'll drive 'em crazy."
American Dad! (2005)
"I sure did. I'm gonna take my sandwich in the study."
American Dad! (2005)
"Stan's sandwich is actually made of cardboard and glycerine."
American Dad! (2005)
"Don't you think that's inappropriate?"
American Dad! (2005)
"I'll tell you what is: I once dated a woman who was ten months younger than me"
American Dad! (2005)
"I love ya. I'm gonna take my sandwich in the study."
American Dad! (2005)
"I know what this is about."
American Dad! (2005)
"I may be blonde with great cans, but I'm pretty smart when I've had my eight hours."
American Dad! (2005)
"Old Big Boob Blondie's got it all figured out, huh?"
American Dad! (2005)
"I tell Bullock not to date Hayley, I can kiss that promotion goodbye."
American Dad! (2005)
"I don't care. Either you talk to Bullock or I will."
American Dad! (2005)
"so I could get up the courage to tell you you're my woman."
American Dad! (2005)
"- OK. Bye. - See? This is exactly what I'm talking about."
American Dad! (2005)
"And can bust out a blistering flute solo? Three, four..."
American Dad! (2005)
"Mr S. You smell of Hayley."
American Dad! (2005)
"The only reason you're not dead is cos I need you. I'm gonna turn you into a real man."
American Dad! (2005)
"- I have blood in my ears. - All right, Jeff. This is an apple."
American Dad! (2005)
"OK?"
American Dad! (2005)
"You know what this is - be more assertive."
American Dad! (2005)
"Mr Smith, please!"
American Dad! (2005)
"You only have five more minutes to learn that lesson. Two if you panic."
American Dad! (2005)
"Jeff, wait! Do you realise what you just did?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- What are you guys, homos? - No."
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, good morning."
American Dad! (2005)
"Excuse us."
American Dad! (2005)
"Stan, what is he doing here? And he's wearing Hayley's robe."
American Dad! (2005)
"I've decided to make it official. I'll announce it before the Senate committee"
American Dad! (2005)
"and I want you to be there."
American Dad! (2005)
"- You're not the man I married. - That makes no sense."
American Dad! (2005)
"It doesn't have to. I got a promotion!"
American Dad! (2005)
"There they are. Do it, do it."
American Dad! (2005)
"Yes, I'm serious. Don't you know I like you?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Great. I'll see you then."
American Dad! (2005)
"Dumb ass."
American Dad! (2005)
"We now go live to the Senate floor."
American Dad! (2005)
"Mr Chairman, it is with great pride that I announce"
American Dad! (2005)
"That's Hay-Hay's ring. Hey, Hay-Hay."
American Dad! (2005)
"Are you watching me on the telly? I'll wave to you."
American Dad! (2005)
"What? You can't mean that!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Who's Jeff Fischer?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- With all due respect, sir, suck it up. - You'll get your promotion,"
American Dad! (2005)
"I've picked up your laundry, I've polished your shoes,"
American Dad! (2005)
"I've done everything but bend over backwards, and my daughter did that."
American Dad! (2005)
"Kill Jeff Fischer."
American Dad! (2005)
"- We'll just tell people you walked into a door. - That's perfect. Thanks, Mom."
American Dad! (2005)
"All right, listen carefully. If you care about Jeff, you'll dump him."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Lives? - Never mind."
American Dad! (2005)
"I know you never liked Jeff, but he's back in my life and you'll have to deal with him."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Hayley! - I was never here."
American Dad! (2005)
"Bob, can you tell me how to get back to the road?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Oh, crap. - What? What's wrong?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Argentinajust star-sixty-nined us."
American Dad! (2005)
"So, Stan tells me you're his hunting buddy."
American Dad! (2005)
"You see, we're actually out here to hunt the most cunning prey of all."
American Dad! (2005)
"A land dolphin?"
American Dad! (2005)
"We're gonna kill you! I'm sorry, but it was gonna take him forever."
American Dad! (2005)
"You guys. Very funny."
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, God. You're not kidding. Please, don't shoot. Please!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Capital idea! We'll make a game of it."
American Dad! (2005)
"You have 30 seconds. One, two..."
American Dad! (2005)
"- What's wrong with you? - Don't answer it!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Hello?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Your dad and some bald dude. - Avery."
American Dad! (2005)
"I stole their car to escape, but they're only a couple miles behind me."
American Dad! (2005)
"Hurry! They're gonna kill me! Hang on a sec."
American Dad! (2005)
"If I get the country scramble, can I get cinnamon toast, or is it extra?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- More coffee? - Quick, pretend you don't know me."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Jeff! - Hayley!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Unhand her! - Leave him alone or..."
American Dad! (2005)
"No, Hayley. I don't need you to fight my battles. I'm assertive now."
American Dad! (2005)
"Listen, dude..."
American Dad! (2005)
"Dad, do something!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- So what exactly is a frittata? - Dad!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Do you have any idea what that's like?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- And now I'm not hungry. - Look, get this through your head."
American Dad! (2005)
"We are over. I'm with Jeff now."
American Dad! (2005)
"How dare you talk to me that way, you third-rate tart?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Sir, she is my daughter."
American Dad! (2005)
"We just missed the funniestjoke in the episode."
American Dad! (2005)
"Any last words, Deputy Director?"
American Dad! (2005)
"You see, I staged this elaborate ruse just to test you."
American Dad! (2005)
"I'm not sure I understand."
American Dad! (2005)
"Take a closer look at these dim-witted, mountain-dwelling folk."
American Dad! (2005)
"Actors! All a company of actors!"
American Dad! (2005)
"All acting under my direction."
American Dad! (2005)
"You see, before promoting you, I had to be certain that you would stand up for Hayley,"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Or something like that. - So none of this was real?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- No, sir. - But you're really hurt."
American Dad! (2005)
"It would appear that way, but no."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Props will be wanting this back. - But you wanted me to kill Jeff."
American Dad! (2005)
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