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Clips from Seinfeld - Highlights of a Hundred (S06E06)

"- Why does that surprise you? - Well, it's a very popular drink."
Seinfeld
"- This is an office. - That's true."
Seinfeld
"Magellan? You like Magellan?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, yeah. My favorite explorer. Around the world. Come on."
Seinfeld
"- Who do you like? - I like de Soto."
Seinfeld
"- De Soto? What did he do? - Discovered the Mississippi."
Seinfeld
"Oh, like they wouldn't have found that anyway."
Seinfeld
"I was talking to this guy, and I just happened to throw..."
Seinfeld
"...my purse on the sofa."
Seinfeld
"And my diaphragm goes flying out."
Seinfeld
"So I just froze, you know:"
Seinfeld
"...she grabbed it before the guy noticed, so, I mean..."
Seinfeld
"...big deal, right?"
Seinfeld
"So I carry around my diaphragm. Who doesn't?"
Seinfeld
"I mean, like, it's a big, big secret..."
Seinfeld
"I hate Keith Hernandez."
Seinfeld
"- Hate him! - I despise him."
Seinfeld
"- Let me tell her. - You can't..."
Seinfeld
"- You always tell it. - All right, tell it."
Seinfeld
"June 14th, 1987, Mets-Phillies."
Seinfeld
"We're enjoying a beautiful afternoon in the right-field stands..."
Seinfeld
"...when a crucial Hernandez error opens the door..."
Seinfeld
"...to a five-run Phillies ninth. Cost the Mets the game!"
Seinfeld
"Our day was ruined."
Seinfeld
"There was a lot of people waiting by the players' parking lot."
Seinfeld
"Now we're coming down the ramp."
Seinfeld
"Newman was in front of me."
Seinfeld
"Hernandez was coming toward us."
Seinfeld
"As he passes us, Newman turns and says, Nice game, pretty boy."
Seinfeld
"...that changed us in a very deep and profound way..."
Seinfeld
"- What was it? - He spit on us!"
Seinfeld
"And I screamed out, I'm hit!"
Seinfeld
"What a story."
Seinfeld
"Unfortunately, the immutable laws of physics contradict..."
Seinfeld
"Allow me to reconstruct this, if I may, for Ms. Benes..."
Seinfeld
"...as I've heard this story a number of times."
Seinfeld
"According to your story..."
Seinfeld
"...Hernandez passes you and starts walking up the ramp."
Seinfeld
"Then you say you were struck..."
Seinfeld
"...on the right temple."
Seinfeld
"...off the temple, striking Newman between the third and the forth rib."
Seinfeld
"The spit then came off the rib..."
Seinfeld
"...made a right turn, hitting Newman in the right wrist..."
Seinfeld
"...causing him to drop his baseball cap."
Seinfeld
"The spit then splashed off the wrist, pauses..."
Seinfeld
"...in midair, mind you..."
Seinfeld
"...makes a left turn and lands on Newman's left thigh."
Seinfeld
"That is one magic loogie."
Seinfeld
"Story is the foundation of all entertainment."
Seinfeld
"And people really have to care about the characters."
Seinfeld
"Care? Forget about care. Love."
Seinfeld
"They have to love them."
Seinfeld
"Now, get the hell out of my house."
Seinfeld
"Quiet! You shut up!"
Seinfeld
"At this moment, you're banned from the store. Banned!"
Seinfeld
"I have a hair on my tongue."
Seinfeld
"Can't get it off."
Seinfeld
"You know how much I hate that?"
Seinfeld
"Who you calling big ape?"
Seinfeld
"I'm calling you an ape."
Seinfeld
"All right, break it up. Come on, you two."
Seinfeld
"Just cut it out now."
Seinfeld
"But you put on a pair of shoes in the New York Public Library, fella."
Seinfeld
"We had a funny guy with us in Korea."
Seinfeld
"There's nothing funny about that."
Seinfeld
"And our stock will rise high."
Seinfeld
"You think you're an idiot, but with all due respect..."
Seinfeld
"...I'm a much bigger idiot than you are."
Seinfeld
"Don't insult me, my friend. Remember who you're talking to."
Seinfeld
"No one's a bigger idiot than me."
Seinfeld
"Am I a hipster doofus?"
Seinfeld
"- No. - No."
Seinfeld
"Said I'm not good-looking enough."
Seinfeld
"Am I beautiful? George, am I beautiful?"
Seinfeld
"- You're very attractive. - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Is it possible I'm not as attractive as I think I am?"
Seinfeld
"We're not gay."
Seinfeld
"- No, of course not. - It's fine, if that's who you are."
Seinfeld
"- My father's gay. - Look..."
Seinfeld
"...I know what I heard."
Seinfeld
"- Heard. It was a joke. - Look, you wanna have sex right now?"
Seinfeld
"Do you wanna have sex with me right now? Let's go."
Seinfeld
"Come on! Let's go, baby! Come on!"
Seinfeld
"- No, I don't want any steam. - No. No steam."
Seinfeld
"Well, I don't wanna sit there naked all by myself."
Seinfeld
"- And the guy never knows? - No."
Seinfeld
"How can he not know that?"
Seinfeld
"Because I was good."
Seinfeld
"I guess after that many beers, he's probably a little groggy anyway."
Seinfeld
"Well, you didn't know."
Seinfeld
"What's that?"
Seinfeld
"You didn't know."
Seinfeld
"- Are you saying..? - I think I'll have a piece of cake."
Seinfeld
"- With me? - Well..."
Seinfeld
"Not bad, huh?"
Seinfeld
"What about the breathing, the panting, the moaning, the screaming?"
Seinfeld
"Fake, fake, fake, fake."
Seinfeld
"I'm disturbed. I'm depressed."
Seinfeld
"I'm inadequate. I got it all!"
Seinfeld
"Can't you see what's happened?"
Seinfeld
"I've become George."
Seinfeld
"Don't say that."
Seinfeld
"It's true. I'm George."
Seinfeld
"I'm George."
Seinfeld
"...cup of coffee. - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"No, no, wait a minute. I always have tuna on toast."
Seinfeld
"Nothing's every worked out for me with tuna on toast."
Seinfeld
"I want the complete opposite of tuna on toast."
Seinfeld
"Chicken salad on rye..."
Seinfeld
"...untoasted, with a side of potato salad..."
Seinfeld
"...and a cup of tea."
Seinfeld
"Well, there's no telling what can happen from this."
Seinfeld
"Chicken salad's not the opposite of tuna."
Seinfeld
"Salmon's the opposite of tuna because salmon swim..."
Seinfeld
"...against the current, and the tuna swim with it."
Seinfeld
"Good for the tuna."
Seinfeld
"So what? What am I supposed to do?"
Seinfeld
"Go talk to her."
Seinfeld
"Elaine, bald men with no jobs and no money..."
Seinfeld
"...who live with their parents..."
Seinfeld
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