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Clips from Seinfeld - Highlights of a Hundred (S06E06)

"...that women carry around their diaphragms."
Seinfeld
"You never know when you're gonna need it."
Seinfeld
"- Why? - Why? I'll tell you why."
Seinfeld
"- You just tell it. - All right."
Seinfeld
"Hernandez continued past us up the ramp."
Seinfeld
"Then, a second later, something happened..."
Seinfeld
"Then I turned, and the spit ricocheted off him, and it hit me."
Seinfeld
"...the whole premise of your account."
Seinfeld
"Newman, Kramer, if you'll indulge me."
Seinfeld
"The spit then proceeds to ricochet..."
Seinfeld
"It's a pizza the moment you put your fists in the dough."
Seinfeld
"Soup's not a meal. You're supposed to buy me a meal."
Seinfeld
"Yeah. Just keep out of my business, you big ape."
Seinfeld
"A tail gunner."
Seinfeld
"We will annex Poland by the spring at any cost!"
Seinfeld
"Not good-looking. Jerry, look at me. Look at my face."
Seinfeld
"Not that there's anything wrong with that."
Seinfeld
"Hey, come on. Let's go. I thought we were gonna take a steam."
Seinfeld
"- You faked with me? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"- You faked with me? - Yes."
Seinfeld
"- No. You faked it? - Yes. I faked it."
Seinfeld
"That whole thing, the whole production, it was all an act?"
Seinfeld
"Tuna on toast, coleslaw..."
Seinfeld
"So now I will do the opposite, and I will do something."
Seinfeld
"You just ordered the same exact lunch as me."
Seinfeld
"Catch phrases"
Seinfeld
"I can't spare a square."
Seinfeld
"I need hand! I have no hand!"
Seinfeld
"- Newman. - Newman."
Seinfeld
"Yes."
Seinfeld
"- What if she discusses it with Jane? - Oh, she's not gonna tell Jane."
Seinfeld
"- What? - Do women know about shrinkage?"
Seinfeld
"No."
Seinfeld
"I don't know how you guys walk around with those things."
Seinfeld
"- about the script."
Seinfeld
"And every time I read it..."
Seinfeld
"I'm not sure."
Seinfeld
"Caught you? Doing what?"
Seinfeld
"I was alone..."
Seinfeld
"Looked like she was gonna faint."
Seinfeld
"What? You mean in your mother's house or altogether?"
Seinfeld
"- Altogether. - Give me a break."
Seinfeld
"Wait a second. Wait a second. Count me in on this."
Seinfeld
"- All right. You're in for 150. - Okay, 150."
Seinfeld
"All right. Come on."
Seinfeld
"Fire!"
Seinfeld
"...bubble boy."
Seinfeld
"- Excuse me. - Oh, here."
Seinfeld
"...we all had ponies."
Seinfeld
"I just realized, you never gave me back the change from the tolls."
Seinfeld
"But why would anyone come here if they had a pony?"
Seinfeld
"- The machine. You want one? - No."
Seinfeld
"It's chocolate, it's peppermint. It's delicious."
Seinfeld
"As if sensing my presence, he let out a great bellow."
Seinfeld
"- What did you do next? - Well, then..."
Seinfeld
"...but I knew something was there."
Seinfeld
"...felt around, and pulled out the obstruction."
Seinfeld
"What, am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers?"
Seinfeld
"- Should we tell him we're leaving? - What for? Let's just get out of here."
Seinfeld
"Oh, hi."
Seinfeld
"Well, mostly negative."
Seinfeld
"But we've persevered."
Seinfeld
"This should be the show. This is the show."
Seinfeld
"Just talking? Well, what's the show about?"
Seinfeld
"What, do you smell something?"
Seinfeld
"I could be a character."
Seinfeld
"...have engaged in sexual intercourse on the desk in your office."
Seinfeld
"...when I first started here that that sort of thing was frowned upon..."
Seinfeld
"What?"
Seinfeld
"You ask me to get a pair of underwear, I'm back in two seconds."
Seinfeld
"...the B..."
Seinfeld
"...and come back with a gun and shoot everybody?"
Seinfeld
"- Wanna get something to eat? - Where?"
Seinfeld
"- Take the pen. - Oh, no."
Seinfeld
"- This? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"- I was just nodding. - There you go."
Seinfeld
"- Well, she asked you. - I can't wear this puffy shirt on TV."
Seinfeld
"This is gonna be the new look for the '90s."
Seinfeld
"I think I can sum up the show for you with one word:"
Seinfeld
"Nothing."
Seinfeld
"Well, something happens."
Seinfeld
"- What about personality? - Good personality."
Seinfeld
"Funny. Bright."
Seinfeld
"- Is that what you said? - Right."
Seinfeld
"What about the skin?"
Seinfeld
"I need a good cheek. I like a good cheek."
Seinfeld
"Is there a pinkish hue?"
Seinfeld
"Put your pants on."
Seinfeld
"I invented it's not you, it's me. Nobody tells me it's them, not me."
Seinfeld
"- If it's anybody, it's me. - All right."
Seinfeld
"Elaine, you don't know the first thing about first base."
Seinfeld
"My act? What does that have to do with anything?"
Seinfeld
"You're a cashier."
Seinfeld
"What is it?"
Seinfeld
"Mulva?"
Seinfeld
"- I think you're really sick. - I'm not sick."
Seinfeld
"I'm leaving."
Seinfeld
"And by the way, they're real and they're spectacular."
Seinfeld
"...once in a while if we want to? - I know."
Seinfeld
"It's almost stupid if we didn't."
Seinfeld
"There are always a few."
Seinfeld
"I mean, if anything happened..."
Seinfeld
"- Devastating. - Because this is very good."
Seinfeld
"And that would be good."
Seinfeld
"...to avoid the things that cause the little problems."
Seinfeld
"But if we did that, we might feel..."
Seinfeld
"No calls the day after that."
Seinfeld
"I slept with Elaine last night."
Seinfeld
"- Oxygen. I need some oxygen. - I thought you'd like that."
Seinfeld
"Oh, this is huge!"
Seinfeld
"I don't have a job, I have no place to go."
Seinfeld
"- Right here in this little apartment? - And what do I say about you?"
Seinfeld
"You smash it. You pound it. You fling it up in the air."
Seinfeld
"Absolutely nothing"
Seinfeld
"If I see her, what do I say I'm doing here?"
Seinfeld
"To see me. I work in the building."
Seinfeld
"We'll make our choice in a few days and we'll let you know."
Seinfeld
"You dipped the chip. You took a bite..."
Seinfeld
"Okay, yeah. I'll have a... Do you have a decaf cappuccino?"
Seinfeld
"Well, that's a little strange."
Seinfeld
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