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Clips from The Office - The Secret (S02E02)

"Yeah, I feel terrible about it."
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"Ask him his symptoms, I'm on WebMD."
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"I have the chills."
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"Michael, is there anything you need from me?"
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"I'll just be sleep..."
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"Okay, first impressions. He sounded sick."
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"if you wanted someone to think you were sick."
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"That's exactly what I was thinking."
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"Drop what you're doing. Make this a priority."
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"Because an office can't function efficiently"
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"unless people are at their desks, doing their jobs."
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"Oh, my God, that is so exciting!"
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"Can I be a bridesmaid?"
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"Listen, you don't have to answer now, but how are you going to do your hair?"
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"Kind of like, I don't know, like, loose with big curls?"
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"Man, this must be torture for you."
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"Yeah, on the booze cruise,"
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"and I confided in the world's worst confidante."
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"Hey, Michael. Hey, Jim-bag!"
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"That was personal."
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"Really? Who else knows?"
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"Wow."
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"Jim and I are great friends. We hang out a ton, mostly at work."
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"But the fact that he told me his secret and no one else"
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"says everything about our friendship."
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"My lips are sealed."
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"My lips are sealed"
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"Bangles. All right. Great. Thank you."
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"Can you hear me?"
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"So, I'm no longer gonna be able to head up spring cleaning."
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"Do you think you can handle it?"
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"Do you think, or do you know?"
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"Oh, God. Here."
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"Hey, what you getting? I'm going with grape."
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"Good stuff. Good stuff."
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"Did you see the game last night?"
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"Which game?"
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"Any of them."
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"So, what's the 411? Any updates on the P situation?"
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"P- A-M. Yeah. Oh, okay."
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"Listen, Stan, you know, how long does it take for you to pick out a soda?"
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"I'm gonna take off, actually. All right, well, cool."
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"Peach ice tea. You're gonna hate it."
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"Listen, little question for you, buddy."
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"I called six minutes ago and no one answered."
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"So, I was wondering if you could explain..."
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"Oh, I see. So, sounds like you're too sick to come into work,"
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"but you're well enough to go to the pharmacy."
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"There are several different ways to tell if a perp is lying."
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"The liar will avoid direct eye contact."
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"It's grape! Soda!"
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"You don't hear that much anymore. Not so much."
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"Fact. You are talking to Jim, you never talk to Jim."
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"And he said that only Dwight"
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"I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is."
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"Thank you, Michael."
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"I know you're telling the truth. Okay."
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"Good."
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"I don't know. I'm probably just gonna eat"
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"It's... I gotta do some cleaning, I should probably stick around here."
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"have a little picnic, order some 'za."
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"Oh, no."
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"Oh, man. You should order milk. Get it?"
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"Here we go, here we go. Bogey at 3:00."
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"We're not worthy, we're not worthy!"
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"And we are brothers. No. We're not brothers."
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"I'm his boss, actually, and I treat him well."
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"I'm taking him out to lunch because I can afford it."
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"Could I just have the ham and cheese sandwich?"
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"Oh, it's great. It's served with our world-famous wing sauce."
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"I will have a chicken breast, hold the chicken."
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"So, how did Oscar sound when he called in?"
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"Sniffling, how?"
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"Three."
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"What do you like best about Pam?"
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"Oh, I really don't want to talk about it."
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"She's easy to talk to, I guess."
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"Really? Never gets any of my jokes."
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"What about you? Her boobs, definitely."
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"Here you go. Oh, thank you."
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"You put your front side in And you shake it all about"
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"You do the hokey-pokey And you turn yourself around"
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"Thank you. Oh, yeah!"
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"What did you guys talk about? Just, you know, politics, literature."
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"Quick Oscar update."
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"Just go to his house and see if he's sick."
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"I could have done this investigation in, like, 20 minutes."
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"Including prep time? Just do it."
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"Expense this."
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"This is from Hooters. Yeah. It's a business lunch."
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"You just got your corporate credit card back."
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"They took my card away because I spent 80 bucks at a magic shop."
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"What they don't understand is that I bought the stuff"
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"to impress potential clients, so business related. Right?"
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"I put a cigarette through a freaking quarter,"
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"I'm not processing this."
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"How is that not work-related? He seems fine to me."
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"Pam?"
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"Oh! Which one is Pam?"
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"So, do you think Jim will try to break up the wedding?"
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"You know what, Kevin, Jim is a friend of mine."
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"So, the only people that this crush really concerns"
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"As a volunteer sheriff's deputy,"
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"I've been doing surveillance for years."
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"So I tailed her for six nights straight. Turns out, she was."
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"Mystery solved."
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"Jim, why didn't you tell me that you had a crush on Pam?"
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"Riveting."
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"No, it's not."
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"Nice."
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"Uh, coupon for a free sandwich."
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"Score! Expired in August."
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"And my cell phone charger from two years ago."
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"Big day. Big day."
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"Hey, listen."
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"Um..."
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"I told Michael on the booze cruise... It's so stupid."
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"I told Michael that I had had a crush on you"
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"Well, I just thought that... I figured you should hear it from me"
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"rather than... I mean, you know Michael."
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