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Clips from The Office - The Secret (S02E02)

"What's updog?"
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"Oh, wow. I walked right into that."
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"Hey, Stanley, is that jacket made of updog?"
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"I'm on the phone."
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"Crap."
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"Good."
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"How are you doing?"
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"Damn it!"
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"But, if you do your spring cleaning in January,"
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"They say a cluttered desk means a cluttered mind."
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"Well, I say an empty desk means an... Empty mind."
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"Meredith, the men's room."
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"Oscar is out sick."
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"What difference does it make whether you're here?"
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"Hello? Hi, Oscar, it's Michael."
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"And Dwight."
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"Yeah. Heard you were under the weather?"
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"You know it's cleaning day here today."
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"Could've used some of that famous Hispanic cleaning ethic."
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"I'm feeling nauseous, and my head's killing."
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"Question. May I investigate? Yeah."
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"Okay, I was thinking about wearing it down."
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"Why don't you wear your hair like that all the time? It's much sexier."
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"I told Michael about some feelings I used to have for Pam."
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"Remember that thing I told you on the booze cruise about Pam?"
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"So if we could just keep that between you and me, that would be great."
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"Nobody."
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"Yeah, I think I can handle it."
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"I think."
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"Still deciding?"
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"Hey, Oscar. How you doing? Dwight Schrute calling."
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"especially the mouth."
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"Unfortunately, I spoke to Oscar on the phone so none of this is useful."
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"Tony the Tiger. Yeah."
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"Nothing. Oh, really, nothing?"
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"Fact. You are drinking grape soda, you never drink grape soda."
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"Fact. Jim and I talk all the time. We tell each other secrets."
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"Okay, so what is the secret, Michael? Look, I..."
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"I had asked Michael if I could head up the Oscar investigation."
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"Is that true?"
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"I can tell. I won't let you down."
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"No. That's all right. Thank you, though."
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"Hey, you know what we could do?"
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"We could spread out a blanket in the break room,"
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"You know what? Let's go out. That was a good idea. Let's go out."
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"I know just the place."
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"Hello, Dana. I am Michael and this is Jim."
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"Great. Thanks."
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"And for you? Tell me, Dana. How is your chicken breast?"
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"Sounds yummy."
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"No, I'm gonna have the gourmet hot dog. Great."
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"Sick. Like lots of sniffling, I don't know."
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"Okay, it was the second one."
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"And, uh, she's got a really good sense of humor."
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"Wow. That's not what I meant."
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"And I understand we have a birthday today!"
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"You put your front side in You put your front side out"
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"Thank you very much!"
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"There you go."
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"I hate you."
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"I have conducted interviews with everyone in the office..."
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"If I had to, I could clean out my desk in five seconds,"
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"and nobody would ever know I had ever been here."
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"And I'd forget, too."
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"I wear it like that sometimes."
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"He has been depressed and it has been affecting his productivity."
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"He is in love with a girl he works with who is engaged,"
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"so just cut me some slack. Please?"
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"Angela, who would you choose? Jim or Roy?"
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"It's nobody's business, Phyllis. Roy."
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"Jim has got it bad for Pam."
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"is Jim and Pam, and me."
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"One time, I suspected an ex-girlfriend of mine of cheating on me."
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"With a couple of guys, actually, so..."
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"Well, the cat's out of the bag."
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"Yeah."
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"She's so hot."
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"when you first started here. Oh."
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"Okay?"
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"Right."
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"And when I found out that you were engaged, I mean..."
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"Oh, yeah. Yeah. Hope that's okay."
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"Oh, yes."
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"Are you going to tell Michael?"
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"Guess what I found out about Oscar tonight."
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"Probably, but now I know something he doesn't want me to know."
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"Hey. I know."
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"What happened? I... Oh, just..."
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"I thought that was more on a volunteer basis."
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"Hey, your schedule for next week."
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"Are you okay? Yeah, I'm fine. Look. About you and Jim."
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"but that was a long time ago, so..."
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"You're the only one I trust."
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"because keeping a secret can only lead to trouble."
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"And the lead character Shyla is framed for murder,"
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"Oh, my gosh!"
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"What? What? Where's the funny?"
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"Give it to me."
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"Is it me or does it smell like updog in here?"
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"Nothing much, what's up with you?"
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"What flavor coffee is that? Updog?"
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"Huh? No, damn it."
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"What does that mean?"
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"What does what mean?"
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"That thing you just said. Just forget it."
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"Dwight!"
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"Today is spring cleaning day here at Dunder Mifflin."
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"Anything."
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"No, that's not... No, that's not what I was gonna say."
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"Make sure you replace the urinal cakes, they're worn down."
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"Angela, kitchen. Oscar, dusting."
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"Where is Oscar? He's out sick."
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"That's unacceptable. I agree. It's unacceptable."
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"What are you guys doing?"
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"Michael? Yes?"
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"On a Friday?"
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"Can I do some of the talking? I will do the talking."
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"Okay, let him know that I'm here. Hello?"
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"Yeah, I think I came down with the flu."
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"Really? Oh, that is a shame."
The Office
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