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Clips from The Simpsons - Treehouse of Horror IX (S10E10)

"- My school picture. - Daddy would like a word with you, Barty."
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"It's hammer time, snitchy."
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"Of course. The transplant."
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"Somehow Snake's hair must be controlling-"
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"You've got to fight the hair, Dad."
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"But I look so youthful and hunky."
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"But I love my son."
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"More than a lush head of hair?"
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"Don't make me choose!"
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"- I love you, Son. - I love you too, Dad."
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"I'll show you, hair!"
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"Ow! That's my face, you idiot!"
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"Don't you-"
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"- I'll kill you. - Homer Simpson, you're under arrest..."
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"for the murders of Moe Szyslak and Apu Nahasa- pasa-"
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"Freeze, hair ball!"
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"Now that's what I call a bad hair day."
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"Oh. Wait. I just got it."
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"It is funny."
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"your blood."
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"Okay. Get ready for the violentest, disembowelingest..."
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"vomit-inducingest Itchy and Scratchy Halloween special ever!"
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"- Hey. - What the-"
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"Sorry, but if I let you watch one of these gruesome Halloween cartoons..."
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"I'd be a pretty lousy mother."
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"Oh, Homer, you're not going as a hobo again?"
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"Well, we're leaving. And remember, no Itchy and Scratchy."
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"Mm-hmm."
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"##"
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"##"
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"There's gotta be some batteries in here somewhere."
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"Hmm."
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"Oh, Bart, that's plutonium. It's highly unstable!"
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"Don't you ever get tired of being wrong?"
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"Color's screwed up."
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"Hey."
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"Hey, Lise, we're characters in a cartoon."
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"A cartoon ax. I love it."
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"Help! Police!"
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"''To protect and sever''?"
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"Boring."
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"I'm telling you, this cilantro really gives it a zing!"
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"Reg, there's no cilantro in it."
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"- Man alive. This soup is out of control! - Oh."
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"Hey!"
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"My- My eyes. My beautiful eyes!"
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"Oh, that's it. I'm going home. Dom DeLuise can interview himself."
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"- Oh, Itchy's house. This is where we came in. - Look!"
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"Huh? Oh, okay."
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"Let's see. Pause. Uh, three. No. FF-"
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"Come on!"
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"Hurry, Homer!"
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"Lisa, look out! A skeleton!"
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"Look how cute they are."
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"Look at him go."
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"You're beautiful."
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"That means you'll have to be neutered."
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"- Look. Her very first baby tooth. - Aw-"
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"- Ew.! - Disgusting."
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"Wait. Mine came back."
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"I know how to cheer you up."
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"This little piggy went to Kwik-E-Mart."
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"This little piggy went nuts."
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"This little piggy went surfing."
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"Look, Marge! Maggie lost her baby legs."
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"All right, I got it."
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"Come on. Get off the-"
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"Fire, and lots of it."
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"Oh, that's your cure for everything."
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"Poor, Maggie."
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"Commander Kang, receiving transmission from Infant Pod 1 3."
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"Holy flirking shnit. What's the message?"
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"Experiencing terrible rash. Over.''"
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"Ensign Kodos, set coordinates..."
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"for the obscure T-shirt-producing planet known as Earth."
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"It's time I paid a visit to..."
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"We'll return with How Dracula Got His Groove Back. -"
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"Hello- Oh, great. Mormons."
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"And we've come to see..."
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"Oh, Lord."
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"I was hoping this day would never come."
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"Huh? What are you talking about?"
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"Homer, Kang is Maggie's father."
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"You intergalactic hussy!"
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"How could you?"
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"when without warning, I was abducted by aliens."
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"Congratulations. You have been selected for our crossbreeding program."
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"To put you at ease, we have re-created..."
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"But since I have no choice, I'll take the alley."
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"Oh, you look lovely this evening."
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"- Have you decreased in mass? - I tried to resist..."
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"but they applied powerful mind-confusion techniques."
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"Look! Behind you!"
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"- What are you implying? - Nothing. Nothing."
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"Whoa. Wow. Look at the time."
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"You're a super girl though. I'll call you sometime."
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"Nine months later, I gave birth to Maggie."
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"And now she must return home to Rigel VII..."
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"where she will be guaranteed a lucrative civil service job for life."
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"Well, we can't compete with that, but-"
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"People! People! Space monsters. This is going nowhere."
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"There's only one man who can settle an argument this bizarre."
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"Well, you're about to get a whole lot angrier..."
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"I hear all."
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"Hey! Yeah!"
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"Oh, yeah? Well- hyperbolic paraboloid- your mama."
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"If you're that baby's daddy, where you been at?"
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"You know, somebody needs to learn your green ass some responsibility."
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"Now hold on, Kang. You can't bully my audience with your fancy ray gun."
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"And now for my final thought."
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"Nobody wins when parents put their petty squabbles above the welfare of a child."
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"Get the- baby off. Son of a-"
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"I'm so- embarrassed."
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"- And now he's dead. - Anyhoo, this is your last chance."
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"Turn over the baby now."
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"Or we will destroy all your leaders in Washington."
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"Just watch us."
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"Don't forget Ken Starr!"
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"Suckers."
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"Very well. I'll drive."
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