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Clips from Malcolm in the Middle - Lois vs. Evil (S01E01)

"You know, I hope you are at least learning"
Malcolm in the Middle
"No..."We did the right thing.""
Malcolm in the Middle
"Can't we at least do a load of laundry or something?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Everything I have stinks."
Malcolm in the Middle
"(Gagging)"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Malcolm."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Yeah, yeah."
Malcolm in the Middle
"So we can't do laundry, we have to share baths"
Malcolm in the Middle
"So, basically, everything I tell you"
Malcolm in the Middle
"in confidence as a friend"
Malcolm in the Middle
"you're going to use to make fun of me?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Hi, Malcolm."
Malcolm in the Middle
"You want to split lunches?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"What?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Yeah, sure."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I have a Chinese chicken salad, a tangerine"
Malcolm in the Middle
"and, ooh, Jordan almonds."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Leftover eggs from breakfast."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Uh, I'm on a special diet..."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Oh, I forgot."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I can't take this anymore!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Anything that's nice, I can't do."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Malcolm..."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I mean, is that so bad?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"It's not my fault we're poor!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"left... your backpack."
Malcolm in the Middle
"before you start talking."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Yeah."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Francis, where have you been?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Okay, listen, I've got kind of"
Malcolm in the Middle
"a bad news/ good news thing here."
Malcolm in the Middle
"(Sighing)"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Your mom lost her job, and we're pretty broke."
Malcolm in the Middle
"The good news is, that makes your tuition an issue."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Now, I think I can talk her into letting you come home."
Malcolm in the Middle
"that has ever happened to me."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Check the peephole."
Malcolm in the Middle
"(Door Opens, Then Closes)"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Lois, I just had a meeting with Mr. Pinter..."
Malcolm in the Middle
"well, more like an hour begging, really..."
Malcolm in the Middle
"but the point is, you can have your old job back!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"That is such good news!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"And all you have to do is apologize"
Malcolm in the Middle
"for a couple months."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Sounds good, Mom."
Malcolm in the Middle
"- You're kidding. - Why?!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Oh, hi, Craig. What's going on?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Nothing. Just business."
Malcolm in the Middle
"We're working."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Back to the grind."
Malcolm in the Middle
"the Pledge of Allegiance just comes alive."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Oh, Francis, you are just wonderful."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I mean, you're so different than the local boys."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I mean, I haven't even known you that long"
Malcolm in the Middle
"and I already feel"
Malcolm in the Middle
"so connected to you."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Wait. You think I'm gay?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"I mean, it's not like Birmingham."
Malcolm in the Middle
"You like the theater, you're good with decorating"
Malcolm in the Middle
"and, well, you're completely obsessed with your mother."
Malcolm in the Middle
"My suit keeps riding up."
Malcolm in the Middle
"That's why I'm here..."
Malcolm in the Middle
"girlfriend!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"So what did you want to talk about?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"I'm your teacher!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"You know, that Julie Houlerman"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Caroline, I don't want to..."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Caroline: Malcolm, Malcolm, Malcolm, so private, so guarded."
Malcolm in the Middle
"She talked to you? About me?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"What'd she say?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"You know, when you open up to people"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Isn't it wonderful?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Dear Malcolm, this isn't just food."
Malcolm in the Middle
"It's an expression of how we all feel about you."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Our hearts go out to you in your time of need."
Malcolm in the Middle
"- You're going to keep the food? - Yes."
Malcolm in the Middle
"and... lamb chutney."
Malcolm in the Middle
"We've done can drives."
Malcolm in the Middle
"when they clean out the garage."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I know how hard this is"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Sometimes decent, hard-working people"
Malcolm in the Middle
"get dumped on for no good reason."
Malcolm in the Middle
"They just have to wipe their eyes"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Those are peaches."
Malcolm in the Middle
"(Siren Wailing)"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Well, you got him here early, that's good."
Malcolm in the Middle
"ate the frog."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I mean, he did most of the work on the way over."
Malcolm in the Middle
"listen, as far as the bill goes"
Malcolm in the Middle
"couple of days of observation..."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Three or four... hun...?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"You boys take care of your dad."
Malcolm in the Middle
"What? Mom, wait."
Malcolm in the Middle
"You don't have to do that."
Malcolm in the Middle
"shouldn't have to, but guess what?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"I do."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I am not going back on anything I said before."
Malcolm in the Middle
"She's completely going back on it"
Malcolm in the Middle
"but I'm not going to kick her when she's down."
Malcolm in the Middle
"No, I am not."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Everything I said before still goes."
Malcolm in the Middle
"to work in mysterious ways"
Malcolm in the Middle
"when you have a job."
Malcolm in the Middle
"gets their ass kicked."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Well, it's easy on such a beautiful back."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Not to mention the most talented..."
Malcolm in the Middle
"What?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"are... are you sure you're really..."
Malcolm in the Middle
"how you are?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Tanya, I'm so confused."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I mean, I thought that I was, but when I'm around you"
Malcolm in the Middle
"I have these... strange, new feelings."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I feel like... maybe I could... change."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I was hoping you'd say that."
Malcolm in the Middle
"If there's one thing we know how to do down here"
Malcolm in the Middle
"And with God's help, we can say "no!" to weakness."
Malcolm in the Middle
"We can say "no!" To all things unnatural!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"It is procreation, not recreation!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"And when Satan tempts us, what do we do?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Pray out the gay."
Malcolm in the Middle
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