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Clips from Malcolm in the Middle - Lois vs. Evil (S01E01)

"and you don't understand why"
Malcolm in the Middle
"and you just have to trust that there's a good reason for it."
Malcolm in the Middle
"(Long, Gassy Whine)"
Malcolm in the Middle
"You have incredible hands."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Oh, Francis..."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Mm, and don't you worry, honey."
Malcolm in the Middle
"it's how to fix this."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Get to it!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Mm, what's this?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Your apology."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Yes."
Malcolm in the Middle
""The horse you rode in on" is optional."
Malcolm in the Middle
"The only thing I ever did wrong"
Malcolm in the Middle
"We obviously have different definitions of"wrong.""
Malcolm in the Middle
"For instance, I think it's wrong"
Malcolm in the Middle
"because I also think it's wrong to blab this kind of thing."
Malcolm in the Middle
"You know, you should be so glad"
Malcolm in the Middle
"this stuff about you."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Anyone else here would sell you down the river in a second."
Malcolm in the Middle
"See, you do the right thing"
Malcolm in the Middle
"I have Ho-Ho's... real Ho-Ho's."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I can finally get everything straightened out with Julie."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Hi, Malcolm."
Malcolm in the Middle
"(Drill Buzzing)"
Malcolm in the Middle
"I only like me."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Dewey: I hate my brothers."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I hate my brothers."
Malcolm in the Middle
""Five across."
Malcolm in the Middle
"* Can you repeat the question? *"
Malcolm in the Middle
"* You're not the boss of me now *"
Malcolm in the Middle
"* You're not the boss of me now *"
Malcolm in the Middle
"* And you're not so big *"
Malcolm in the Middle
"* Life is unfair. *"
Malcolm in the Middle
"I know a lot of kids say they like school."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I mean, when I am in school"
Malcolm in the Middle
"I'm either bored, terrified..."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Hi, Malcolm."
Malcolm in the Middle
"And now I have to figure out a secret way to answer her"
Malcolm in the Middle
"without A) Acting like I like her"
Malcolm in the Middle
"or B) Acting like I don't like her"
Malcolm in the Middle
"or C) acting like I've never even thought about A or B."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Just be pleasant and noncommittal."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Hey, Ju..."
Malcolm in the Middle
"She's doing this to me on purpose."
Malcolm in the Middle
"(Girls Squealing)"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Stanley, you are incredible."
Malcolm in the Middle
"The school asked for an honor guard."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I figured you'd like a few weeks without drill practice."
Malcolm in the Middle
"It's perfect."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Easy. Let's start with the obvious runners up."
Malcolm in the Middle
"You know, uh, this is a little intense."
Malcolm in the Middle
"You, me, working this shelf... together."
Malcolm in the Middle
"What's intense about it?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Mom!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"You're not supposed to yell in the store."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Hey... the Three Musketeers."
Malcolm in the Middle
"and you must be Porthos."
Malcolm in the Middle
"You're creepy."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I'm sorry."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Right away, Mr. Pinter."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Okay. I'm off work in five minutes."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Don't touch the register."
Malcolm in the Middle
"and don't touch the microphones."
Malcolm in the Middle
"That includes hovering"
Malcolm in the Middle
"You do it."
Malcolm in the Middle
"- I'll do it. - Yeah, right."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Horsy."
Malcolm in the Middle
"The microphone, register... candy... price tags..."
Malcolm in the Middle
"It's not what it looks like."
Malcolm in the Middle
"How long you in for?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Another hour."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Hi."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Oh, what's wrong?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Hey, I'll check his special place."
Malcolm in the Middle
"You in there, buddy?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"I did something bad."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Daddy's getting a cramp in his leg."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I took something from Mommy's store."
Malcolm in the Middle
"What did you take?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"No. It's not a candy bar."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Oh? Well, what is it?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"$150 bottle of cognac?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"How could you take this?!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Can you imagine the man"
Malcolm in the Middle
"This works pretty good, Mom."
Malcolm in the Middle
"apologize and accept the consequences."
Malcolm in the Middle
"You can't fire me for this."
Malcolm in the Middle
"But he didn't steal it: He returned it."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Right there. The bottle is perfect."
Malcolm in the Middle
"You can just put it right back on the shelf."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Pinter: My hands are tied here."
Malcolm in the Middle
"What are you talking about?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"You foist if off on me because you make so many mistakes."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Mom?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"You have hated me since the minute you got here"
Malcolm in the Middle
"(All Gasp)"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Velcro. I win the pool."
Malcolm in the Middle
"(Reciting): Sweet home Alabama..."
Malcolm in the Middle
"(Piano Accompaniment)"
Malcolm in the Middle
"to you."
Malcolm in the Middle
"(Applause)"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Oh, Francis, I wanted to thank you again"
Malcolm in the Middle
"for being so helpful."
Malcolm in the Middle
"What can I say? I love the theater."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Francis, will you help me decide on my leg extensions?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"or left leg?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Today it's rice and macaroni."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Reese, this is not the time for complaining."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I'm not complaining: I'm constipated."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I'm sorry, we can't afford to live lavishly anymore."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Drink your milk."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Then chew it."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Hey, come on, we can do this."
Malcolm in the Middle
"We've had to economize before."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Or last year, when we were saving up for Disneyland?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Except this time, we're just trying to keep the house."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Okay, everybody, stop worrying."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I am going to find another job..."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Well, can't you get unemployment or something?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"No. I only worked 38 hours a week."
Malcolm in the Middle
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