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Clips from Malcolm in the Middle - Lois vs. Evil (S01E01)

"I only like me."
Malcolm in the Middle
"When are you going to be done?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"(Thud)"
Malcolm in the Middle
"I only like me."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I only like me."
Malcolm in the Middle
"(Drill Whirring)"
Malcolm in the Middle
"My mother the... blank.""
Malcolm in the Middle
"* And you're not so big *"
Malcolm in the Middle
"* You're not the boss of me now *"
Malcolm in the Middle
"* You're not the boss of me now *"
Malcolm in the Middle
"But honestly, I just find it exhausting."
Malcolm in the Middle
"What does she mean by that?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Is it just "Hi"?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Is she trying to say she likes me?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"I thought Malcolm was a genius"
Malcolm in the Middle
"but this is off the charts."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Beautiful girls with self-esteem issues."
Malcolm in the Middle
"(Chuckles Nervously)"
Malcolm in the Middle
"I guess nothing."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Excuse me."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Not supposed to do that either."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Life's funny that way."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Athos, Aramis..."
Malcolm in the Middle
"You really shouldn't say hurtful things to grownups."
Malcolm in the Middle
"That's okay. We're still friends."
Malcolm in the Middle
"you have got to redo the nail polish."
Malcolm in the Middle
"The crystal pinks are mixed with the frosty pinks"
Malcolm in the Middle
"That includes by accident."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Fair warning."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Dare you."
Malcolm in the Middle
"This isn't baby stuff, Dewey."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Boys!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Oh, hello, boys."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Yow."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Hi, Hon."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Did you see Dewey outside?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"I don't know, but something's upsetting him."
Malcolm in the Middle
"and now I just can't find him anywhere."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Hmm."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Dewey?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"and I didn't have a quarter anyway."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Uh-huh. Dewey, honey"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Well, that's very serious."
Malcolm in the Middle
"who spends $150 on a bottle of cognac?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Dewey, what am I going to do with you?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"You are going to return this bottle to Mr. Pinter"
Malcolm in the Middle
"What do mean, "fired"?!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Sorry. Store policy is very clear about stealing."
Malcolm in the Middle
"You're not exactly making me regret my decision here, Lois."
Malcolm in the Middle
"because I was first choice for your job and I turned it down."
Malcolm in the Middle
"At least I didn't raise a thief."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Where the skies are so blue."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Sweet home Alabama..."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Lord, I'm coming home"
Malcolm in the Middle
"(Playing Licks)"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Oh, very, very nice, Bridget."
Malcolm in the Middle
"That was very nice."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Usually, the honor guards just sit around and gawk"
Malcolm in the Middle
"but you've really thrown yourself"
Malcolm in the Middle
"into this whole hog, haven't you?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Which do you think looks better..."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Mmm..."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Yesterday for dinner, we had macaroni and rice."
Malcolm in the Middle
"It's lumpy."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Remember when Grandma drove into the living room?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"We're going to Disneyland?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"another cashier job with flexible hours"
Malcolm in the Middle
"that allows me to leave whenever I need to take care of my kids."
Malcolm in the Middle
"That's what's important."
Malcolm in the Middle
"and yesterday, she had our cable turned off."
Malcolm in the Middle
"How's your... love life?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"What?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"for sports."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I have to go... work out."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I'll see you later."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Everyone in the world gets to do everything except me!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Yeah, yeah, yeah."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I know there's other people worse off than me."
Malcolm in the Middle
"You know what? I don't care."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Malcolm..."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I hate being poor, okay?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Why is that like some big character flaw?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"You, um..."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I'm sorry, Dad. I've just been buried here."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Marlin Academy is the best thing"
Malcolm in the Middle
"That's the thing... There's, like, ten of them!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"If they've got a hand truck, don't open it."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Yes!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"and let him dock your pay 150 bucks"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Oh."
Malcolm in the Middle
"- No, thanks. - What?!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Because that's like admitting he's right."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I'm not going to do that."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Lois, if this makes any difference"
Malcolm in the Middle
"every single one of them."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Take it easy, tiger."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Nice guy."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Thank you, Tanya."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Oh, you don't have to hide anything, honey."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I mean, we're a lot more liberal here"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Why do you think I'm gay?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Oh, come on."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Oh, great. Frannie, can you spray me?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"is a very special little girl."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Oh, come on!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"But you don't have to be that way with me."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Aw, nothing that wasn't obvious already."
Malcolm in the Middle
"just how well things turn out."
Malcolm in the Middle
"- Surprise! - Surprise!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"the whole thing herself"
Malcolm in the Middle
"and everyone in school responded."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I'm not going to throw away"
Malcolm in the Middle
"perfectly good pie filling"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Don't you even care how humiliating this is?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"We just have to hold on a little bit longer."
Malcolm in the Middle
"And in the meantime"
Malcolm in the Middle
"be thankful for small favors."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Well... the emergency room"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Okay."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I'm going to go see Mr. Pinter and beg for my job back."
Malcolm in the Middle
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