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Clips from Scrubs - My Big Mouth (S02E02)

"Plus, I woke up and cried because I thought I was getting wrinkles,"
Scrubs
"but it turns out I just fell asleep on Turk's corduroy pants."
Scrubs
"There. Now you think I'm the craziest woman here."
Scrubs
"Dr Cox let me tell a woman that her husband's dying."
Scrubs
"I wouldn't be able to read "Suck it, Turk""
Scrubs
"if you wrote it on the bottom of your shoe."
Scrubs
"Something I've taken great pride in over the years"
Scrubs
"in the esteemed "Doctors Without Borders" programme."
Scrubs
"- Anyway, I've made my decision. - Thank you, sir."
Scrubs
"- Shove it, Turk! - I'm gonna shove it,"
Scrubs
"Then why's he doing his "You're getting a piece of this" dance?"
Scrubs
"He's not. That's his "In your face" dance."
Scrubs
"Crazy."
Scrubs
"- It's for sitting. - Excuse me?"
Scrubs
"For God's sake, you must park it."
Scrubs
"Of course, what we generally do now is eat. Eat."
Scrubs
"Sorry, sir. I just can't believe Kelso chose me."
Scrubs
"- I told him to take Bonnie. - So, then, why'd he pick me?"
Scrubs
"Among all the surgery residents, what's the difference between you, Bonnie,"
Scrubs
"Todd, Steve, Erik, and Vijay?"
Scrubs
"- First of all, she's a... - There it is."
Scrubs
"- Wait. Because she... - Yep."
Scrubs
"- She? - Exactly."
Scrubs
"It's because she's a woman. Damn!"
Scrubs
"Fork. Me can't eat soup!"
Scrubs
"It's not like you're ladling out sloppy joes or something."
Scrubs
"You know, my uncle was a "joer." Yeah."
Scrubs
"Troy, let me fill you in on this guy."
Scrubs
"Oh, thank God."
Scrubs
"Whether you've accidentally just stolen your lunch,"
Scrubs
"Who told you that?"
Scrubs
"JD told you that?"
Scrubs
"JD said you're a big old can of crazy."
Scrubs
"A little can. A very tiny, small can."
Scrubs
"No, you said "big can"."
Scrubs
"OK, you can fix this."
Scrubs
"You think it's funny to switch people's shifts?"
Scrubs
"Bye, pal."
Scrubs
"I don't know, sport."
Scrubs
"The rules have changed so much, I just can't keep up."
Scrubs
"Hi."
Scrubs
"This chair won't pull out."
Scrubs
"Look, I actually need some "me time.""
Scrubs
"- Really? - Gladly."
Scrubs
"Why would you get turkey when there's egg salad?"
Scrubs
"Dude, there's no egg salad today."
Scrubs
"- So we're even, right? - Even?"
Scrubs
"I told a nurse you switched her shift."
Scrubs
"I plan on spending the rest of my life with."
Scrubs
"I could spend the rest of my life with Lauren, or her tushie."
Scrubs
"- You think this is funny? - Come on."
Scrubs
"I told you how hard it is for me to let my guard down."
Scrubs
"And that quick you burn me."
Scrubs
"- Never again. - Well, don't walk away."
Scrubs
"Bonnie, I found out that Dr Wen actually recommended you"
Scrubs
"so I was hoping that we can use this as an opportunity"
Scrubs
"to repair our relationship."
Scrubs
"And by the way, dolor en el asno means "pain in the ass.""
Scrubs
"I thought it would help you when you introduce yourself."
Scrubs
"I want you to think about how I kick your ass"
Scrubs
"up and down these halls all day long."
Scrubs
"There is some really tragic stuff in there,"
Scrubs
"No. But when word got out about your little offer,"
Scrubs
"Oh, great. More for me."
Scrubs
"Esophogeo-gastro-duodeno-colitis."
Scrubs
"except you'll be blind in both."
Scrubs
"I'm really sorry."
Scrubs
"- Why won't it stop ringing? - Hello!"
Scrubs
"OK, I never meant to insinuate you guys were stupid, all right?"
Scrubs
"Everyone knows you're a hundred times smarter"
Scrubs
"than the jackasses that run this place."
Scrubs
"- Is that so, sport? - No, sir. It's not so."
Scrubs
"Troy, that's not how we do it."
Scrubs
"- Mr Hogan, what the hell? - What would you do"
Scrubs
"if your five-year-old begged you to have a bite of his dinner?"
Scrubs
"- You had two dozen ribs. - I know."
Scrubs
"It wouldn't hurt you to cut 'em some slack once in a while."
Scrubs
"Don't eat meat. Carla."
Scrubs
"Every time you screwed up with me, I've let you off the hook."
Scrubs
"OK, never, but we both know that if you ever did,"
Scrubs
"I would give you a break."
Scrubs
"Right the first time."
Scrubs
"25-year-old woman, dancer, actually. Well, not anymore."
Scrubs
"And seeing as her husband recently passed away,"
Scrubs
"probably is not going to cover it, you should tell her"
Scrubs
"she won't be able to stay here with us for her rehab."
Scrubs
"There is no room. In fact, in the history of medicine,"
Scrubs
"Keep going down this road, you're gonna go up to the roof"
Scrubs
"and jump the hell off."
Scrubs
"Then I'll be forced to jump off the roof,"
Scrubs
"And are you starting to see a pattern forming here?"
Scrubs
"I just wanted to be colleagues."
Scrubs
"I'm always gonna be your superior."
Scrubs
"you just might make some headway."
Scrubs
"and this is a crazy notion, if you could stop worrying so much"
Scrubs
"Take us to Mexico!"
Scrubs
"What part of "no meat" don't you get?"
Scrubs
"It's kind of an... but more piercing."
Scrubs
"It's more masculine, which, quite frankly, is surprising,"
Scrubs
"- Sad? - Yes, that's it."
Scrubs
"Tack on the medicine, your room, and pumping your stomach,"
Scrubs
"- See, that's how they get you. - That's right."
Scrubs
"You even know I have them switch Lauren's shifts"
Scrubs
"so we always end up working together."
Scrubs
"I'm mad about it."
Scrubs
"OK, you want in? You want me to open up?"
Scrubs
"I don't like the way I look, I don't like the way I think,"
Scrubs
"What? Turk and Bonnie? They hate each other."
Scrubs
"- How'd it go with Mrs Tillman? - It was awesome."
Scrubs
"Christopher."
Scrubs
"JD."
Scrubs
"or you've finally gotten someone to notice you."
Scrubs
"I'm only going to Mexico cos Bonnie's not a guy."
Scrubs
"Oh, no."
Scrubs
"Night classes? Wait, when did I learn sign language?"
Scrubs
"leading to a horrible, horrible death.""
Scrubs
"I missed my baby's first steps."
Scrubs
"- Can I bother you for a second? - Based on history, I'd say yes."
Scrubs
"I can't be pulling over every two minutes"
Scrubs
"for pee-pee stops and nylons that come in plastic eggs."
Scrubs
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