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Clips from ALF - The Gambler (S01E01)

This looks like the handwriting of a 2-Year old.

"This looks like the handwriting of a 2-Year old."

ALF

Or someone much, much older.

"Or someone much, much older."

ALF

Pardon me, but you can't really be charging...

"Pardon me, but you can't really be charging..."

ALF

$2,500 for this coffee pot.

"$2,500 for this coffee pot."

ALF

You can buy 2 1/2 lamps for that price.

"You can buy 2 1/2 lamps for that price."

ALF

We are willing to come down.

"We are willing to come down."

ALF

I'll give you 5 bucks.

"I'll give you 5 bucks."

ALF

You expect us to come down from $2,500 to $5?

"You expect us to come down from $2,500 to $5?"

ALF

Let's look next door.

"Let's look next door."

ALF

I saw a nice sofa on the lawn.

"I saw a nice sofa on the lawn."

ALF

Kate, are you out of your mind?

"Kate, are you out of your mind?"

ALF

$3,400 for steak knives?

"$3,400 for steak knives?"

ALF

I think this could explain why the sales have been slow.

"I think this could explain why the sales have been slow."

ALF

Mom, could you check the rest of the prices...

"Mom, could you check the rest of the prices..."

ALF

While willie and i go in the house and investigate.

"While willie and i go in the house and investigate."

ALF

Excuse me, ma'am,

"Excuse me, ma'am,"

ALF

Do you have any more of these $800 screwdrivers?

"Do you have any more of these $800 screwdrivers?"

ALF

Alf! Alf! Alf!

"Alf! Alf! Alf!"

ALF

Where is he?

"Where is he?"

ALF

Come on out. We know what you did.

"Come on out. We know what you did."

ALF

You do?

"You do?"

ALF

Just tell us why you did it.

"Just tell us why you did it."

ALF

I was trying to make a little money.

"I was trying to make a little money."

ALF

Where did you get such a crazy idea?

"Where did you get such a crazy idea?"

ALF

From your mother.

"From your mother."

ALF

It was her bookie.

"It was her bookie."

ALF

Bookie? What bookie?

"Bookie? What bookie?"

ALF

[ Doorbell rings ]

"[ Doorbell rings ]"

ALF

What does a bookie have to do with our garage sale?

"What does a bookie have to do with our garage sale?"

ALF

Kate, do i have to fill in all the blanks?

"Kate, do i have to fill in all the blanks?"

ALF

Just stay here.

"Just stay here."

ALF

We'll talk about this later.

"We'll talk about this later."

ALF

No! No, don't answer it!

"No! No, don't answer it!"

ALF

Let go, alf.

"Let go, alf."

ALF

No! Get off!

"No! Get off!"

ALF

My life isn't worth a plugged nickel.

"My life isn't worth a plugged nickel."

ALF

Willie, what is going on?

"Willie, what is going on?"

ALF

Maybe your mother's bookie will know.

"Maybe your mother's bookie will know."

ALF

Alf tanner? Nicky mintz.

"Alf tanner? Nicky mintz."

ALF

Call me nick.

"Call me nick."

ALF

"The fish."

""The fish.""

ALF

Whatever makes you comfortable.

"Whatever makes you comfortable."

ALF

Alf, you sound different in person.

"Alf, you sound different in person."

ALF

You got a cold, too?

"You got a cold, too?"

ALF

I've been sick for a month.

"I've been sick for a month."

ALF

Have you tried lemon juice and honey?

"Have you tried lemon juice and honey?"

ALF

You know, my wife suggested that,

"You know, my wife suggested that,"

ALF

But i can't digest citrus.

"But i can't digest citrus."

ALF

You can try the honey without the lemon.

"You can try the honey without the lemon."

ALF

Yeah, maybe i'll try that.

"Yeah, maybe i'll try that."

ALF

So, where's my money?

"So, where's my money?"

ALF

Your money?

"Your money?"

ALF

6 grand?

"6 grand?"

ALF

You think i placed a bet with you...

"You think i placed a bet with you..."

ALF

And now i owe you $6,000!

"And now i owe you $6,000!"

ALF

Yeah, that's the general idea!

"Yeah, that's the general idea!"

ALF

Come on, give me the money.

"Come on, give me the money."

ALF

[ Sneeze ] bless you.

"[ Sneeze ] bless you."

ALF

Thank you.

"Thank you."

ALF

You'll find it.

"You'll find it."

ALF

Because if you don't find it,

"Because if you don't find it,"

ALF

Well, let's keep that hypothetical.

"Well, let's keep that hypothetical."

ALF

[ Shatter ]

"[ Shatter ]"

ALF

[ Sneeze ]

"[ Sneeze ]"

ALF

Willie, where are we going to find $6,000?

"Willie, where are we going to find $6,000?"

ALF

Maybe somebody will buy the folding chairs.

"Maybe somebody will buy the folding chairs."

ALF

I, gordon shumway, being of sound mind and body--

"I, gordon shumway, being of sound mind and body--"

ALF

I re-Tagged everything.

"I re-Tagged everything."

ALF

Now, who changed the prices?

"Now, who changed the prices?"

ALF

We have rounded up the usual suspect.

"We have rounded up the usual suspect."

ALF

He placed a bet with your bookie...

"He placed a bet with your bookie..."

ALF

And lost 6 grand!

"And lost 6 grand!"

ALF

When you say it, it sounds so sleazy.

"When you say it, it sounds so sleazy."

ALF

And now the mob is after him!

"And now the mob is after him!"

ALF

Well, at least some good came out of this.

"Well, at least some good came out of this."

ALF

What are you guys doing in here?

"What are you guys doing in here?"

ALF

Yelling at alf.

"Yelling at alf."

ALF

Is he in trouble again? Yeah.

"Is he in trouble again? Yeah."

ALF

What does it involve this time?

"What does it involve this time?"

ALF

Food or money?

"Food or money?"

ALF

Have i become that predictable?

"Have i become that predictable?"

ALF

This time, he seems to have incurred...

"This time, he seems to have incurred..."

ALF

A rather large gambling debt.

"A rather large gambling debt."

ALF

Yeah, and your grandmother is largely responsible.

"Yeah, and your grandmother is largely responsible."

ALF

What? Me?

"What? Me?"

ALF

You introduced me to horse racing,

"You introduced me to horse racing,"

ALF

Knowing full well how obsessive/compulsive i am.

"Knowing full well how obsessive/compulsive i am."

ALF

I depend on you people to protect me from myself.

"I depend on you people to protect me from myself."

ALF

I have a response to that.

"I have a response to that."

ALF

But it's not an informed response.

"But it's not an informed response."

ALF

Look, i did what i did for good reason:

"Look, i did what i did for good reason:"

ALF

By getting us hopelessly in debt?

"By getting us hopelessly in debt?"

ALF

Good strategy.

"Good strategy."

ALF

How did you expect to make that balloon payment?

"How did you expect to make that balloon payment?"

ALF

With this pitiful garage sale of yours?

"With this pitiful garage sale of yours?"

ALF

By the way, did the steak knives go?

"By the way, did the steak knives go?"

ALF

Alf, we put aside the money...

"Alf, we put aside the money..."

ALF

For the balloon payment a long time ago.

"For the balloon payment a long time ago."

ALF

Oh. Well, can i borrow 6 grand of it?

"Oh. Well, can i borrow 6 grand of it?"

ALF

Will 6,000 be enough?

"Will 6,000 be enough?"

ALF

Or shall we advance you for the next time you try to help?

"Or shall we advance you for the next time you try to help?"

ALF

Thanks for the sarcasm, willie.

"Thanks for the sarcasm, willie."

ALF

Somewhere out there is a meat hook with my name on it. [ Doorbell rings ]

"Somewhere out there is a meat hook with my name on it. [ Doorbell rings ]"

ALF

Oh, my gosh, he's back! Don't answer it!

"Oh, my gosh, he's back! Don't answer it!"

ALF

Mom, is mr. Mintz a violent man?

"Mom, is mr. Mintz a violent man?"

ALF

Yes, but he's fair.

"Yes, but he's fair."

ALF

[ Doorbell rings again ]

"[ Doorbell rings again ]"

ALF

Let's all slip out the side door.

"Let's all slip out the side door."

ALF

We don't have a side door.

"We don't have a side door."

ALF

Why don't we?

"Why don't we?"

ALF

Just finish your will!

"Just finish your will!"

ALF

You guys, go out in the driveway.

"You guys, go out in the driveway."

ALF

See if anybody is buying anything.

"See if anybody is buying anything."

ALF

You know, we're a lot alike.

"You know, we're a lot alike."

ALF

We just can't keep ourselves out of trouble.

"We just can't keep ourselves out of trouble."

ALF

Oh, thank god.

"Oh, thank god."

ALF

Excuse me?

"Excuse me?"

ALF

No, never mind. Yes?

"No, never mind. Yes?"

ALF

Hi, harold buck.

"Hi, harold buck."

ALF

I was at your garage sale,

"I was at your garage sale,"

ALF

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