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Clips from ALF - The Gambler (S01E01)

"Well, that's fine, mom."
ALF
"But, i mean, what if you had lost?"
ALF
"Hey, it's my money."
ALF
"But it's our inheritance."
ALF
"For your information,"
ALF
"I'm planning to leave all my money..."
ALF
"To the alien task force."
ALF
"Sure, punish your grandchildren."
ALF
"Leave us out of this."
ALF
"That's her plan."
ALF
"Come on, mom. Let's take this stuff--"
ALF
"I'll give you a hand with these old clothes."
ALF
"I've got fliers to make."
ALF
"I might as well make myself useful."
ALF
"Hold on, dorothy."
ALF
"Can you make a lot of money with this horse racing thing?"
ALF
"Only if you win."
ALF
"No problem."
ALF
"Put me in for 50 bucks."
ALF
"Have you been going through my purse again?"
ALF
"Yes. But that's not where i got the money."
ALF
"By the way, you're out of tic-Tacs."
ALF
"Rebate coupons."
ALF
"Anyway, if you'll just slip 50 to mr. Fish--"
ALF
"Mintz."
ALF
"No, thanks. I just brushed."
ALF
"His name is nick mintz,"
ALF
"I'm not doing this for me."
ALF
"No, you're raising money for charity."
ALF
"Oh, excellent comeback, dorothy."
ALF
"If you must know, it's for a balloon payment,"
ALF
"Which, by the way, has nothing to do with a balloon."
ALF
"I am still not going to place any bets for you."
ALF
"And it was a dynamite comeback."
ALF
"Once again, left to my own devices."
ALF
"Hello? Is this "the fish"?"
ALF
"Great. Listen, you don't know me,"
ALF
"But i'm a friend of dorothy halligan's--"
ALF
"Yeah, "big red.""
ALF
"Listen, if i send you 50 bucks,"
ALF
"Can you turn that into $11,000?"
ALF
"No problem. I've got 'til saturday."
ALF
"[ Radio announcer ] "it's 'out of body experience' by a neck,"
ALF
""But here comes 'naughty nina' on the outside."
ALF
""Here comes 'naughty nina' and 'out of body experience'."
ALF
"And it's 'naughty nina' by a nose!""
ALF
"Let's see, that means i won..."
ALF
"What? $300."
ALF
"Well, let it ride."
ALF
"[ Radio: ] "it's 'cat killer' by half a length.""
ALF
"Yeah!"
ALF
"I've got the midas touch."
ALF
"Okay, nick, yeah, let's go fifties on 4 in the 5th,"
ALF
"5 in the 6th, 6 in the 7th,"
ALF
"And 7 in the 8th."
ALF
"Then, at hialeah, what i'd like to do is--"
ALF
"So, that's a c-Note on the double,"
ALF
"Then one each on the 2 exactas--"
ALF
"And remember, nothing on the pick 6."
ALF
"I don't want to seem greedy."
ALF
"Thanks, and my best to the fishwife."
ALF
"Are having a garage sale today, too."
ALF
"You're kidding. The ochmoneks?"
ALF
"Oh, yeah, that's the way it always looks."
ALF
"It should be. I know i put it out there."
ALF
"It's right next to the bottle with the "mayflower" in it."
ALF
"It's not the "mayflower," it's the "ni?.""
ALF
"Come here, willie, i want you to see this race."
ALF
"I haven't got time to watch a horse race now, alf."
ALF
"This is the one that's going to make you very happy."
ALF
"Keep your eye on number 9."
ALF
"Uh, yeah. That's the one."
ALF
"He's not getting up."
ALF
"He will, he will."
ALF
"Maybe he dropped something."
ALF
"At least the jockey's okay."
ALF
"Who cares? Get up!"
ALF
"Get up!"
ALF
"If you'll excuse me, i have to put these away."
ALF
"How much am i up?"
ALF
"Oh, well, then how much am i down?"
ALF
"Oh! I have to make it back fast."
ALF
"Put $2,000 on--"
ALF
"What? What do you mean i can't bet anymore?"
ALF
"No! There's no reason for you to come over here."
ALF
"I'll be happy to put a check in the mail."
ALF
"Hello? Hello?"
ALF
"Kate, quick question. Yeah?"
ALF
"Hypothetical situation:"
ALF
"An individual places a bet with a professional bookie,"
ALF
"For a sizable amount of money."
ALF
"Let's say, uh, $6,000..."
ALF
"And he can't cover his losses."
ALF
"Hypothetically,"
ALF
"What could happen to this individual?"
ALF
"Well, hypothetically,"
ALF
"He could have his legs broken."
ALF
"Why do you ask?"
ALF
"Just making conversation."
ALF
"You think i can get 6 grand for this?"
ALF
"More like a quarter."
ALF
"Well, it's a start."
ALF
"Alf, these are your favorite things."
ALF
"What do you want to sell them for?"
ALF
"I want to do my part for the garage sale."
ALF
"Help the family out of their financial troubles..."
ALF
"By 5 o'clock."
ALF
"We do now."
ALF
"What? Nothing."
ALF
"Kate, we haven't sold one thing."
ALF
"Well, it's only been an hour."
ALF
"Maybe we should've served food."
ALF
"Mom, this is a garage sale, not a luau."
ALF
"Kate, nobody's buying anything."
ALF
"I know that!"
ALF
"Excuse me,"
ALF
"I have a question about the price on this lamp."
ALF
"It's negotiable."
ALF
"Well, i hope so. $1,000 is ridiculous."
ALF
"$1,000? There must be some mistake."
ALF
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