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Clips from ALF - The Gambler (S01E01)

"No, it's accurate."
ALF
"No! No!"
ALF
"Because we're going to need someplace..."
ALF
"And you know what a garage sale is? Yeah."
ALF
"And scooter."
ALF
"Hi, kids."
ALF
"[ Horse race announcer ]"
ALF
"That's funny, i can't picture you at a race track."
ALF
"You meet an unsavory element there."
ALF
"You bet with a fish?"
ALF
"Where did you get 50 bucks?"
ALF
"Where did you get the 50 bucks?"
ALF
"And i'm not going to place any bets for you."
ALF
"Not bad, huh? 50 bucks at 6:1 odds,"
ALF
"Yeah, a deuce on the quinela,"
ALF
"And a half on the perfecta."
ALF
"Kate, i think your neighbors,"
ALF
"Yeah. They got a couple of beat-Up chairs..."
ALF
"And an old sofa out on their front lawn."
ALF
"Mom, how come dad's hockey stick is not out there?"
ALF
"Not a race, this is the race."
ALF
"The one that just fell down?"
ALF
"Thank you, alf."
ALF
"Nick! Alf. Does that race count?"
ALF
"Well, i'm glad we had this talk."
ALF
"It's just an observation."
ALF
"I'll see if we have anything in the refrigerator."
ALF
"Down here!"
ALF
"Shaking."
ALF
"That bookie."
ALF
"Hi. Kate, this is mr. Mintz."
ALF
"No, no."
ALF
"Been taking everything. Nothing works."
ALF
"Come on, alf, just give me the 6 grand,"
ALF
"So i can go home and use the vaporizer."
ALF
"Mr. Mintz, i'm afraid i don't have $6,000."
ALF
"I should take better care of myself."
ALF
"To keep you people out of the poorhouse."
ALF
"It's perfect for the film we're doing."
ALF
"Why not? It has sentimental value."
ALF
"How about $6,000?"
ALF
"Right!"
ALF
"You're not selling my ship in a bottle?"
ALF
"If we're lucky."
ALF
"But i love that ship. It's the "ni?.""
ALF
"Willie, the reason we're having a garage sale..."
ALF
"Is to get rid of things."
ALF
"We don't have to be fanatics about it."
ALF
"Listen, i've been going over the bills."
ALF
"Someone should take your credit cards away."
ALF
"Give me those."
ALF
"Is that a typo?"
ALF
"An $11,000 balloon payment?"
ALF
"You guys are getting ripped off."
ALF
"You can get a whole package of balloons for 69 cents."
ALF
"No, alf. 7 years ago,"
ALF
"We took out a mortgage on the house."
ALF
"Just to buy a balloon?"
ALF
"Let's not talk about this now."
ALF
"We've only got a week to get ready for the garage sale."
ALF
"You're selling the garage?"
ALF
"That's good,"
ALF
"To store that balloon."
ALF
"♪♪"
ALF
"So you understand what a balloon payment is? Yeah."
ALF
"Good!"
ALF
"Now can you explain "secular humanism" again?"
ALF
"No."
ALF
"Hey, you're not selling that, are you?"
ALF
"I'm afraid so."
ALF
"Too bad. It'd be a great bottle..."
ALF
"If it weren't for the ship stuck in it."
ALF
"It's a "ni?.""
ALF
"It doesn't matter."
ALF
"We're selling it anyway."
ALF
"This house payment's hanging over your head, isn't it?"
ALF
"No, we're just trying to clear away a little extra space."
ALF
"Level with me."
ALF
"You're on the skids, aren't you?"
ALF
"No."
ALF
"Dad, mom wants me to sell muffy-Bear."
ALF
"No!!"
ALF
"We've got to be strong about this."
ALF
"Not my hockey stick! No!"
ALF
"Knock, knock."
ALF
"Who's there?"
ALF
"Hi kids who?"
ALF
"Hi, grandma."
ALF
"Stop it. You're ruining the joke."
ALF
"Excuse me, kids."
ALF
"I love you very much,"
ALF
"But there's something i gotta watch on tv."
ALF
"What? A horse race."
ALF
"Hi, mom."
ALF
"Shh!"
ALF
"Come on, "smooth as butter"!"
ALF
"Mom, do you have money on that horse?"
ALF
""And it's 'smooth as butter' by 3 lengths.""
ALF
"Woo! Woo!"
ALF
"Mom, since when do you bet on horses?"
ALF
"All my life."
ALF
"I could picture her running. Ha! Ha!"
ALF
"I wonder how long it would take..."
ALF
"To pull the hair out of your body?"
ALF
"About 2 hours."
ALF
"Mom, how come you never took me to a race track?"
ALF
"I never go to a race track."
ALF
"I bet with a bookie."
ALF
"Ah! They're not unsavory."
ALF
"Forgive my ignorance, but what's a "bookie"?"
ALF
"An unsavory element."
ALF
""Nick the fish" is not unsavory."
ALF
""Nick the fish?""
ALF
"Hi, dorothy."
ALF
"Hi, willie."
ALF
"Did you know my mother bets on horses?"
ALF
"Yeah."
ALF
"How much did you win, grandma?"
ALF
"300 bucks!"
ALF
"That's even better than last week."
ALF
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