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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Weekend Vortex (S05E05)

"- Woo-hoo. - Movies or video games?"
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"We'll miss you, Sheldon."
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"I've been to Radio Shack. This woman's impossible to shop for."
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"Do you mind if I spend the weekend playing games with the guys?"
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"Oh, this is a fun one. This is an afternoon with me..."
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"Last time I asked you to do something that wasn't a medical emergency?"
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"Yesterday. You made me look in your ear to see if there was a ladybug in it."
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"All right, I have no choice..."
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"Run around outside with a wet head and try to catch a cold."
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"- Good morning. - Hello."
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"Since my aunt's nursing home is catering the party..."
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"...all the food is incredibly soft. It's like a vacation for your teeth."
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"I decided to find a way that I could have this experience and enjoy it."
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"In "City of Heroes" we're heroes. In "Grand Theft Auto"..."
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"I said, "No, I promised the guys I was gonna play a video game with them.""
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"Oh."
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"Who's Armin the miniature-horse breeder?"
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"- Yeah. - Mm."
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"- Like that? - Wow, yeah, beginner's luck."
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"I'm gonna publicly shame you and then sit back..."
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"Excuse me, I have something to say."
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"I'm sorry. You're right. You deserve your weekend."
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"- I'll miss you. - But I'll miss you more."
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"- No, I'll miss you... - Just leave."
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"Wanna spend time playing the new "Star Wars" game this weekend?"
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"Mm, I don't know, I promised myself I'd get off the computer..."
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"...be more physically active, get some exercise."
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"You're about to walk up three flights of stairs."
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"Well, good point. I'm in."
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"You know what would be great? Let's do it like the old days."
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"- Mm, you talking gaming marathon? - Yeah."
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"Start Saturday morning, go 48 hours, sleeping bags, junk food."
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"Turn off our phones so our moms can't call."
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"It'll be like our "World of Warcraft" party when the neighbors called the cops on us."
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"They called the cops because of the smell. They thought we were dead."
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"We were bad-ass back in the day."
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"- All right, let's do it. - Forty-eight hours of "Star wars" gaming."
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"It's on like Alderaan."
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"Hey, Sheldon, clear your weekend."
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"Starting Saturday morning, "Star Wars" marathon."
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"Or board games? Or trading-card games?"
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"Or Legos? Or dress-up? Or comic books?"
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"Or dramatic readings of novelizations?"
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"Yes to all."
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"We are going to play the online game."
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"The online game? Bully."
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"As much as I'm sure Sheldon would enjoy..."
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"...playing intergalactic make-believe, he and I have plans."
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"We are attending my Aunt Flora's 93rd birthday party."
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"Just tell her I can't come."
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"She'll be disappointed if we don't show."
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"She's 93. She won't be disappointed for very long."
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"Hang on. I followed all the protocols..."
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"...set forth by you in the Relationship Agreement."
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"I made a written request 72 hours in advance."
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"Checked the tire pressure on the car."
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"I contacted the Centers for Disease Control..."
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"...to find out what shots they recommend for travel to Orange County."
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"FYI, it's none."
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"Amy, the Relationship Agreement..."
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"...was not designed for either one of us to get our way."
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"You use it to get your way."
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"I use it to get the right way."
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"The fact that the right way is also my way is a happy coincidence."
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"You gave me your word. You're coming with me."
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"Yeah? Well, who wants to spend the whole weekend..."
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"...running around a bunch of pretend planets battling made-up monsters?"
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"- That's for babies. - Yeah, but it's got lightsabers."
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"Yeah. Please, Amy, it's got lightsabers."
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"- Hello, Stuart. - Hey, Sheldon."
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"- Help you with anything? - Yes."
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"I'm attending a party this weekend for a 93-year-old woman."
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"Can you recommend a gift?"
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"Uh, I don't know."
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"Could put a tennis ball on the end of Excalibur..."
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"...make a pretty bad-ass cane."
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"Do you supply the ball?"
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"- No. - Then no."
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"- What else? - Uh, oh."
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"Got this collector's edition Batman Utility Belt."
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"Maybe she could use it as a wearable pill caddy."
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"Well, she'd just look silly wearing that without the rest of the costume."
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"Um, sorry, Sheldon, that's it. That's all I got."
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"It's not your fault. I've been to the model-train store."
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"I'd make fun of Sheldon for having girl problems..."
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"...if I wasn't in shock that Sheldon has girl problems."
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"Well, Leonard, go ahead and mock."
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"It's like my daddy always said:"
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""Shelly, women aren't anything but flipping pains in the bottom.""
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"That's what your father used to say?"
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"Well, I took out the bad words and the "yeehaw," but you get the gist."
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"If you don't wanna go to the party, just don't go. You're a grown man."
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"Act like one. Tell Amy you wanna spend the weekend having a sleepover..."
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"...and playing video games with your friends."
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"Yeah, maybe she'll dig it. Women like a firm hand on the tiller."
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"I can never find the tiller."
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"I got a book. It didn't help."
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"Yeah, I always thought if I were ever enslaved..."
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"...it would be by an advanced species from another planet..."
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"...not some hotsy-totsy from Glendale."
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"I downloaded an app that might be helpful in this situation."
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"You're right. I'm smart as a whip. I should be able to figure this out."
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"Listen, I kind of made plans with the guys this weekend."
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"I wondered, because we're in this relationship beta test..."
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"...if I should have asked you first."
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"Then I thought if I did check with you first..."
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"...you'd think that I was taking things too seriously..."
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"...and then I got a nosebleed."
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"You don't have to check with me. Do whatever you want."
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"Oh."
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"Guess I was hoping for a different reaction, but okay."
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"- Really? What were you hoping for? - I don't know."
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"Maybe that you'd be a little upset."
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"And then you'd realize that I'm a stallion that has to run free."
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"And that would turn you on a little."
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"Okay, I'm an actress. Ask me again."
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"Wha...? The entire weekend? You mean I wouldn't see you at all?"
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"But I do... No, no, I knew what I was getting into."
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"You can't put a saddle on Leonard Hofstadter."
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"Oh, my, is it getting hot in here? Ay, Papi."
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