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Clips from The Simpsons - Bart Carny (S09E09)

"Listen carefully, and watch me wink as I speak, okay?"
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"is Mr. Bribe-wink, wink."
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"[Siren Wailing]"
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"Well, ain't that somethir."
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"- Cops took it. - What?"
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"Why didn't you bribe 'em?"
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"I was trying to, but the opportunity never came up."
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"- [Squeals] - What are we gonna do now?"
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"Can't you stay in the Whack-A-Mole game?"
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"[Spud] Nah. Fantastic Dan lives there."
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"Look at 'em, Bart. If a carny can wind up homeless, it can happen to anyone."
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"- I'm going for a corn dog. You want one? - Yes."
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"But first, there's a little matter of the carny code."
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"Cooder, Spud, get off that hog. You're coming to stay at our house."
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"- [Shudders] - Why did you shudder just now, Mom?"
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"I don't know."
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"It must have taken you years to win all this stuff."
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"Let me get you a coaster for those feet."
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"- Huh? - Hey, check this out."
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"I can uninge all my joints at once."
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"- Doing anything tonight, blue eyes? - Ew."
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"How long are those roustabouts going to be staying here?"
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"The older one can pull out his left eye."
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"- Aaah! - [Cooder] A little help?"
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"[Gasping]"
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"- Oh! - [Laughing, Applause]"
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"- [Homer Gasps] - [Bart] Hmm."
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"[Grunting]"
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"- [Homer] No. - [Laughing]"
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"Wow. Can you do that again?"
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"So, Mr. Cooder, how long have you been in the traveling amusement industry?"
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"Oh, hell, the Cooders have been carnies ever since we came here in 1620..."
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"Mmm. Thanks for dinner, Mom. I love you."
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"Aw, aren't you sweet? Hey, my pearls."
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"- Spud taught me that. - Good one, Spud."
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"Well, sure is awful kind of you to take us into your beautiful home here."
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"Just wish we had some way to repay you."
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"Yeah. Good thinkir, Spudford."
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"Uh, you folks ever been on a glass-bottom boat ride?"
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"'Cause we just happen to have some tickets."
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"Ooh, what a nice surprise. This is so generous of you, Cooder."
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"- Now who's the filthy sleazebag, huh, Marge? - [Chuckles]"
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"- Ooh. Look at that. - Ooh."
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"[Chattering, Laughing]"
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"[Man] That's our sister ship, the Athena."
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"It went down with 88 souls just last week."
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"- [Shutters Clicking] - I wonder how that happened."
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"- Hey, come on, sharky! - Yeah, you want a piece of this?"
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"I can't help but wonder what we're missing."
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"I was wrong about the Cooders, Dad."
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"They're the nicest of all the transients you've ever brought home."
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"That's weird. The key doesn't fit."
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"Hey, someone's boarded up our windows."
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"Check this out!"
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"- What's going on? - Cooder!"
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"What have you done to our house?"
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"It's ours now. Tell us where the extra sheets are and get off our property."
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"[Gasps] They're squatting in our house."
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"You can't do this to me. What about the carny code?"
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"[Cooder, Spud Laughing]"
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"Carnies took over our house. You've gotta help us!"
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"Sure, we'll help you. Just sit down and wait for Detective Like-l-Give-A-Damn."
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"Thank you so much."
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"- Dad. - Honey, Daddy's waiting for the detective."
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"I found some food for breakfast."
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"Bart, you're brushing your teeth with my twig."
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"So? I let you use my leaves."
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"- [Cooder] That Urkel's a hoot. - Listen to 'em."
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"- [Chattering, Laughing] - Watching my television, sitting on my couch."
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"- You'd better not be in my ass groove! - Homer!"
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"It took me years to forge that groove."
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"- ##[Saxophone] - [Groans]"
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"One of them's playing my saxophone."
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"- ##[Continues] - Oh, no. The spit valve!"
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"Release the spit valve!"
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"Over the sink! Over the sink!"
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"Hey, look at me. I'm a millionaire."
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"Wow, Dad! You look likeJames Bond."
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"[Laughs] Hey, it's getting cold in here."
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"Throw another one of them photo albums on the fire."
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"Which one? "Precious Moments" or "Treasured Memories"?"
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"- [Birds Twittering] - [Homer] Good morning, everybody."
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"[Grunting]"
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"Stupid gravity."
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"I say we set fire to the house. Kill 'em that way."
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"We don't wanna kill them, Bart. We just want our home back."
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"- Well, if we did set fire to the house- - No fires!"
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"Or-"
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"- Cooder residence. - I got a proposition for you, Cooder."
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"- Yeah, I'm listenir. - One game of ringtoss."
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"If I can throw this hula hoop onto the chimney, you'll give us our house back."
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"If I miss, I'll sign the deed over to you."
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"- Homer, no! - Oh, you'll never make it, Dad."
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"- So, we'd own the house legit? - That's right."
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"Deal."
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"Oh, I can't watch."
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"[Grunting]"
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"- Oh. - [Groans]"
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"Hey, they just ran into the house."
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"That Homer fella grifted you good, Dad."
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"Well, there's no shame in beir beaten by the best."
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"- But he didn't seem all that- - We were beaten by the best, boy."
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"Ah, I guess your old man is smarter than you thought."
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"Ah, look at 'em standing out there, no place to go."
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"[Laughs]"
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"Poor guys. Hey, what if we let 'em stay here for just a few days?"
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"Mom, get him away from the window."
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"- Homer. - My groove!"
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"Aw, they mushed it all out of shape."
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"All right. Better put on a pot of coffee, Marge. This could take a while."
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"- ##[Continues] - Come on now. Just a little more."
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"Up. A little more to the left. Favor the left here."
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"[Grunts] ##[Continues]"
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"- [Murmuring] - Shh!"
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"[Grunting]"
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"- [Both Groaning] - But I can't go out dressed like this."
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"Okay. We get our room and board free anyway."
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"[Tape Rewinding]"
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"[Screaming]"
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"- [Laughing] - Oh! Well."
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