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Clips from The Simpsons - Bart Carny (S09E09)

"Only two tickets left."
The Simpsons
"[Woman Screaming]"
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"[Man] l"vant"your blood."
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"That was just confusing."
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"Behold the ravages of age."
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"- [Buzzer Buzzes] - Boo. Exit to your left."
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"Sorry."
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"What is it about this exact spot?"
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"[Sputtering] It's happening again!"
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"Three rings for a dollar. Who's ready? Who's ready?"
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"[Boy] See any pigeons yet, Dad?"
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"## [Humming]"
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"## [Warbling]"
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"- How about you, lucky? - [Gasps] Who, me?"
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"[Grunts]"
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"Sorry, Son. Daddy failed."
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"Aw, listen, fella. I got a son of my own. Here."
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"[Sniffles] A novelty comb."
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"Kings among men."
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"You're lookir at Adolf Hitler's personal limousine."
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"It's roomier than Bonnie and Clyde's death car..."
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"- Ooh. Aah. - Wow, it's "Euro-rific.""
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"There are some who say Hitler's skeleton is in the trunk."
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"Others say just a spare tire."
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"I'm a busy man, so I haven't checked yet."
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"Hmm. One of these must activate the flamethrower."
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"- Uh-oh. - [Gasping]"
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"- Bart! - What in the name of high school football?"
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"- [Screaming] - [Horn Honking]"
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"Out of my way! I'm Hitler!"
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"Oh! Oh! Man, that hurts!"
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"Oh, I can't stand it!"
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"- in grave danger! - Aaah!"
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"You wrecked Hitler's car. What did he ever do to you?"
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"[Groans]"
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"Why, you just damaged the main attraction of my carnival, son."
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"Hey, I thought I was your main attraction."
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"[Stammering] Oh, you are, Humphrey, you are."
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"Hey, he's getting away."
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"Not so fast, partner. You owe me some money."
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"Hey, come on. He doesn't have any money. Look at his clothes."
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"Mmm. Well, I still can't let him off the hook."
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"You're gonna work off your debt right here."
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"At the carnival? Cool."
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"Hey, that's not fair. I wanna be a carny too."
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"- Can I, mister? Huh? Can I? Please? - I don't know."
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"You gonna get drunk and start a lot of trouble?"
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"Sure, anything you want."
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"Mmm. All right. See you tomorrow, 6:00 a.m."
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"And you're gonna work like you've never worked before."
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"- [Together] Whoo-hoo! - We just saw the most amazing camel."
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"It was wearing a hat."
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"[Ringing]"
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"[Yawning]"
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"## [Humming]"
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"- [Squeaking] - [Laughing]"
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"- you won't get your snow cone. - Aw, heck."
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"Hey, you lost your money fair and square. I didn't scam nobody."
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"[Laughs] Put down your stick. We're here to work."
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"Starting today, we're carnies, just like you."
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"Well, in that case, let me show you how I scammed you."
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"Have a seat. Spud, throw a couple more apples in the caramel."
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"- Ugh. - Oh, don't worry. That's just to scare off thieves."
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"Hmm."
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"Yeah, he's telling the truth."
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"Thanks for the food, mister."
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"Name's Cooder. This my boy, Spud."
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"And there's no need to thank us. We carnival folks look out for each other."
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"That's the carny code."
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"Did you hear that, Bart? The carny code."
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"- Bart, did you hear that? - Yes."
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"So what's our first job, huh? Test the roller coaster?"
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"- Fry up some cheese? - Hose down the freaks?"
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"l- Um- Somethir like that, yeah."
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"[Sighs] Oh, this isn't fun."
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"Maybe if you didn't go to the bathroom so much, you wouldn't be so small."
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"Oh."
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"Please, folks, hold your fire."
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"The water level is dangerously low."
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"- [Man Grunts] - Ow! [Groans]"
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"All right. Now, this geek bit is pretty straightforward."
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"You just bite the heads off the chickens, take a bow."
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"- [Squawks] - Go on. Give it a try."
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"Remember, big smiles."
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"- Do I like chicken? - Does it matter?"
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"I guess not."
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"Hey, boss, uh, me and Spud gotta duck out for our A.A. meeting."
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"[Groans] Okay."
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"Simpson, you and your boy'll be taking over the ringtoss."
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"Dad, we're saved!"
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"Mmm. Buddy..."
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"- you're the luckiest chicken in the world. - [Squawking]"
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"You see, the trick here is the rings won't fit over the good prizes."
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"Well, we'll see about that. Give me 10 rings."
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"Do whatever it takes- Sweet talk, insults..."
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"slang from the '30s that no one uses anymore."
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"- Like "rubes"? - Now you're on the trolley."
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"Uh, yes. How do we handle refunds?"
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"- Good move. - Give me 10 rings."
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"Win a genuine Ronex watch just like a real movie star."
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"Hey, there's a sucker."
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"Aw, come on, Dad. Get on the trolley."
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"Hey, hot pockets. Win something for your girlfriend?"
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"Seymour, I want that lamp. Win that lamp for me, Seymour."
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"- If I like you, it is. - Hot dog! Let's go!"
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"- Oh, no. Are you blind? - I'm trying, Mother. It's hard."
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"You're failing, Seymour. What is it about you and failure?"
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"We're natural-born carnies, Dad."
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"If only we werert tied down with a family."
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"Yeah, we could start our own game..."
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"where people throw ducks at balloons and nothing's the way it seems."
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"[Wiggum] Uh, I hate to interrupt your fun, boys..."
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"[Laughs] And how."
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"Gee, I'd hate to close you down."
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"Maybe we can reach a little, uh, understanding here."
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"I understand."
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"Not right now, Son. Daddy's talking to a policeman."
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"Uh, let me put it this way. I'm looking for my friend Bill."
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"No. He's Bart."
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"[Groans] l-"
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