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Clips from The Simpsons - Bart Carny (S09E09)

"D'oh! [Screams]"
The Simpsons
"I'm not going to the bathroom in the backyard."
The Simpsons
"- What if someone sees me? - You're just going into our backyard."
The Simpsons
"- [Nelson] Ha- - [Groans]"
The Simpsons
"Get to work!"
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"I see."
The Simpsons
"- [Together] Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding! - [Groans]"
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"Heart condition? Get out of here."
The Simpsons
"Obviously I don't. Now if you'll get out of my way-"
The Simpsons
"- [All] Ow! - [Homer] Ow! My heart!"
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"Two tickets? Whoa, what a break."
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"Um, I think that one's broken."
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"[Braying]"
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"- [Man] And they're off! There they go! - [Children Shouting]"
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"[Sputtering] Why does this always happen when I stand here?"
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"Hey, saw-top. Want your dad to win you a TV?"
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"Quick, Dad, before somebody else wins it."
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"Ooh, that was close. Wow. What a scam."
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"- [Screaming] - You are..."
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"Son, if you don't finish your cotton candy..."
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"- Ah, there you are. You two ready to work? - Yes, sir!"
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"Oh! Ow, my leg!"
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"- Uh, Bart? - Yeah, Dad?"
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"We need someone to cover for us."
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"Uh, so anyway, uh..."
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"the main thing is to bring in the rubes."
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"Well, we gotta get. Here's the money box. Any questions?"
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"Lookee, lookee. Hey, hey. Wocka, wocka. I got rings and you want 'em."
The Simpsons
"All right, Simpson, be honest with me. Is it actually possible to win this game?"
The Simpsons
"[Mother] No, throw it over the peg!"
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"but I got a few complaints that your game is crooked."
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"Um, hey, Dad, l- I think he wants-"
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"Have you seen any Bills around here?"
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"- Okay. - The guy I'm really looking for-wink-"
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"It's a ringtoss game."
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"All right, that's it. I'm shutting this game down."
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"Our game! Our home! What happened here?"
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"Here's a little trick my grandmother taught me."
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"Uh, not for a little while."
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"clinging to the side of the Mayflower."
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"[Whispering]"
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"The undersea world certainly is full of wonders."
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"That was fun."
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"I wish we had a glass-bottom car."
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"[All Agreeing]"
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"Well, well, look who's here. Mr. No-Bribe."
The Simpsons
"I hope everyone likes the red things that grow on this tree."
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"Quit yer yappir. I'm freezir."
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"- [Screams] - [Gasping] Homer!"
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"There's gotta be a way to get those guys out of there."
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"[Grunts] Now!"
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"What the-"
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"[All Laughing]"
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"- Mmm. - Way to go, Dad. You actually outwitted someone."
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"- [Grunts] ##[Man Singing] - [Grunting]"
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"[Grunting Continues]"
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"Almost. [Grunts, Sighs]"
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"##[Chorus Singing]"
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"[Tires Screeching]"
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"Ha-ha!"
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"[Whining]"
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"Come on. You have to go outside to do your... business."
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"The experts say that if you want an animal to do something..."
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"you should do it yourself first to show 'em how."
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"[Scoffs] Sorry, Your Majesty."
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"Why don't you wanna go out there?"
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"Yech. The kids are supposed to be keeping this yard clean."
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"- [Rattles, Hisses] - [Screams]"
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"- Aaah! - Oh, Ned, I'm so sorry."
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"[Laughs] Oh, no problem, Marge."
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"Turn on the TV, Lise."
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"You turn it on. I turned it on yesterday."
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"- Allowance day. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. - You don't deserve an allowance."
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"- Sure we do. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. - Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding."
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"Ice-cream man! Ice-cream man!"
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"- [Door Closes] - That backyard is a disgrace. Now get busy."
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"- That's a good suggestion, Mom. - We'll take it under advisement."
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"No one will see you."
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"Ha!"
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"Man, look at all this stuff."
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""Pull weeds, mow lawn, scoop and bag dog business.""
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"There's gotta be a way out of this."
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"[Gasps] Lisa, chop off my hands."
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"No! Then who'd chop off my hands?"
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"All right, you chop my hands halfway off, then I'll still have enough strength to chop-"
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"Kids, I made some lemonade for you."
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"- [Bart] Sounds great. - [Lisa] Bring it in here."
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"[Groans] What the-"
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"- What are you doing inside? - Work was hard, so we quit."
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"- What? - Hard work made us quit."
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"Well, then, no chores, no allowance."
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"- And Santy Claus provides the rest. - [Groans]"
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"##[Calliope]"
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"- [Gasping] - [Lisa] The carnival!"
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"- We need money, fast. - [Marge] Well, well, well."
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"Looks like somebody's gonna have to do some yard-"
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"It's carnival time! Here's money, kids. Take what you need."
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"- Oh, boy! Free money! - All right, free money! Whoa!"
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"##[Country]"
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"- Ooh! Ooh! I wanna see Lobster Boy and Shrimp Girl! - I want some fried sugar!"
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"I wanna go on the Yard Work Simulator!"
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"Wow, the Tooth Chipper."
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"[Screaming]"
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"[All] Ow!"
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"[Cheering, Screaming]"
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"[All] Ow!"
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"- Ooh! Ooh! Me first. - You can't go on that. You have a heart condition."
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"You had a quadruple bypass. You nearly died. Don't you remember?"
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"But it doesn't look safe. And the guy running it looks a little seedy."
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"- No offense. - None taken."
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"He's not just some guy, Marge."
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"He's a carny, and part of a noble tradition."
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"Carnies built this country- the carnival part of it anyway."
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"And though they may be ratlike in appearance..."
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"they are truly kings among men."
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"- Okay, let's go, fatty. - Yes, sir."
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"[Sighs]"
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"Fear. Fear in the pit of your stomach."
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"No surgeon can save you. No bromo can soothe you."
The Simpsons
"Do you dare enter the Screamatorium of Dr. Frightmarestein?"
The Simpsons
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