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Clips from The Simpsons - Dude, Where's My Ranch? (S14E14)

"David Byrne?"
The Simpsons
"Singer, artist, composer, director, Talking Head?"
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"Singer, artist, composer, director, Talking Head?"
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"And I used to wrestle under the name El Diablo."
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"Hey, mister, if you like my song so much, would you like to buy a tape?"
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"- It's already rewound. - No, thanks."
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"But I would like to sing it with you and produce it."
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"He's worse than Frankenstein Or Dr. No"
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"You can't upset him even slightly He just smiles and nods politely"
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"His Leftorium is an emporium of woe"
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"F-L-A - Don't yell at Ned"
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"You don't have to move your feet"
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"If you despise polite left-handers Then I doubt you'll like Ned Flanders"
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"- That's us. - Hurray!"
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"The smiling, mustached geek Who walks with God"
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"Mass dismissed."
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"Hey, what are we gonna wear tomorrow?"
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"- Now let's hear - William Shatner's version..."
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"...of "Everybody Hates Ned Flanders.""
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"- Ah. - Another cover? My God, let it die."
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"Everybody in the U.S.A."
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"Hates their stupid neighbor"
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"He's the Flanders man, the Flanders man Flanders..."
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"- I am so sick of that song. - Ugh, me too."
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"I've come to hate my own creation."
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"Now I know how God feels."
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"Why don't we take a vacation and get away from that song for a while?"
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"Well, I guess we could afford one nice trip."
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"I still think you should've left that at the motel."
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"What? It said "take one.""
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""Balloon Ride," "Wax Museum," "The Denzel Washington Monument"..."
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"And there's no radio or TV so we won't have to hear your song."
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"Sweet."
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"The Simpsons are going to Bart's idea."
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"This dude ranch is gonna be great."
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"You won't think it's stupid when you hear the extended salsa mix."
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"Simonize?"
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"- Can you take me to the hospital? - Yeah, no problem."
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"Wasn't that the hospital?"
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"Then this'll all be new to you."
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"Welcome to the Lazy I Ranch..."
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"...where we give you a week of rustic ranch living."
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"- Do you have an Internet connection? - Internet?"
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"Son, the only Internet connection we got..."
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"Or you could patch in through the smart fridge in your cabin."
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"Hmm, if said fridge is smart, it will be filled with Hot Pockets and bologna..."
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""On this battleground in 1881, 56 Indians lost their lives..."
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"This whole ranch is appalling. It's built on a legacy of cruelty to animals..."
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"Just our way of making y'all feel welcome."
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"- You're not listening. - I never do."
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"I'll show you how they get on a horse where I come from."
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"- Daddy, I need upsies. - Coming, sweetie."
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"- Huh. Well, he sure shut us up. - Mm-hm."
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"Pleased to meet you. Have a tooth."
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"Hey, Crabby Hayes, get with the program."
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"I'm sick of this horse slapping and cow taunting."
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"I'm going to my room."
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"Mama rattlesnake would be mighty sore if you scrambled her young'un."
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"And you're the first person I've met here who cares about our animal equals."
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"I'm sure she'd be happier without someone sitting on her back all day."
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"...to help me hang these "No Hunting" and "Free Tibet" signs."
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"Would you like to be photographed in my great-grandfather's headdress?"
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"Can you shoot one where I'm Rambo and my wife is Betty Boop?"
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"I thought you guys lived off the land."
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"Used to live and farm in a bountiful valley."
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"Why don't you just chase the beavers away?"
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"You people are guests in our country."
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"And the beaver have no right to treat you that way."
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"Sure. And when we do, your breakfast will be comped."
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"- Eight. - Three."
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"- Four. - Deal. My brother."
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"Oh, Luke."
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"I'll save you."
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"Tonight you're gonna be swimming next to a matzo ball."
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"- Well, ain't that pretty. - Oh, it looks like a happy sheep."
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"Oh."
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"Shucks, Lisa. You sure have taken a shine to that cowpoke."
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"- Mom, why are you talking like that? - Don't rightly know."
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"Well, I like it here too."
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"He's really sophisticated for a 13-year-old."
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"Thir-what-year-old?"
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"Lisa, you're only 8."
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"Lisa, you don't know what you'll want in the future."
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"It's only 10 and the moon is awful big."
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"Well, heck, you should see it when it's full."
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"Oh, no. They're making beautiful music together."
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"Wind should be coming in from the south."
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"Time it to coincide with beaver holiday."
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"This map is useless. Useless."
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"Homie, I'm worried about how fast our kids are growing up."
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"Look, Cookie. There's a dance tonight."
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"A dance? A dance?"
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"Alrighty, I'll see you tonight. And I'll save you the first dance."
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"Hey, bottom bunk's mine."
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""My name is Clara."
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"I've known Luke for more than five days.""
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"Excuse me. Is this the way to the Lazy I Ranch?"
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"But a quicker way to the ranch is that shortcut."
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"Thanks, darling. See you at the dance."
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"I hate you."
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"Oh, boy."
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"Check it out, beavers."
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"Delicious motel furniture."
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"They took the bait. Let's go."
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"Uh-oh. We forgot to empty the minibar."
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"Let it go, Dad."
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"Treaty, treaty, treaty, bill, treaty..."
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"Drink deep from these cups."
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"The bear urine will make you strong."
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"- Actually, it's Fresca. - Fresca?"
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"Take your corner by the hand Get adult videos on demand"
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"Flash your teeth, let's see those smiles Pay with Visa, earn free miles"
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"Or she's not coming because she doesn't understand how special you are."
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"After this dance, I'm heading to jail."
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"One of my stray bullets hit a Texas Ranger."
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"Blanks. They just don't feel the same."
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"There used to be a trail here."
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"Who are you, the "used to" police? Unh! Unh!"
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"Help!"
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"Hey, beavers, remember me, you buck-toothed nerds?"
The Simpsons
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