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Clips from Futurama (1999) - Comedy (S07E07)

I'm coming for you, man. Ain't no jail can hold me.

"I'm coming for you, man. Ain't no jail can hold me."

Futurama (1999)

That's why you're going straight to the electromagnetic chair.

"That's why you're going straight to the electromagnetic chair."

Futurama (1999)

And then I'm-a stab it.

"And then I'm-a stab it."

Futurama (1999)

Stop! It's driving me sane!

"Stop! It's driving me sane!"

Futurama (1999)

Hey, Bender, you should become an executioner.

"Hey, Bender, you should become an executioner."

Futurama (1999)

Hermes! Boy, am I indifferent to see you.

"Hermes! Boy, am I indifferent to see you."

Futurama (1999)

We need to talk. Alone.

"We need to talk. Alone."

Futurama (1999)

Okay, Hermes. Sure.

"Okay, Hermes. Sure."

Futurama (1999)

Fry, could you come in here

"Fry, could you come in here"

Futurama (1999)

and help me rub on this new scented body oil?

"and help me rub on this new scented body oil?"

Futurama (1999)

In a second. I'm eavesdropping.

"In a second. I'm eavesdropping."

Futurama (1999)

Please, Fry?

"Please, Fry?"

Futurama (1999)

Leela punishes me when I don't use enough.

"Leela punishes me when I don't use enough."

Futurama (1999)

I said not now!

"I said not now!"

Futurama (1999)

Sure, I know a guy.

"Sure, I know a guy."

Futurama (1999)

surgical implant parlor in Filthytown.

"surgical implant parlor in Filthytown."

Futurama (1999)

I am expert in shadowy field of many things.

"I am expert in shadowy field of many things."

Futurama (1999)

to today's modern machinery. Can you help me?

"to today's modern machinery. Can you help me?"

Futurama (1999)

No problem. I prepare operating room.

"No problem. I prepare operating room."

Futurama (1999)

Oh, honey, I'm home!

"Oh, honey, I'm home!"

Futurama (1999)

Pops?

"Pops?"

Futurama (1999)

ls that a harpoon in your chest?

"ls that a harpoon in your chest?"

Futurama (1999)

Yes. And I'm happy to see you.

"Yes. And I'm happy to see you."

Futurama (1999)

And the best part is,

"And the best part is,"

Futurama (1999)

the whole package fits neatly in the space where my giblets used to be.

"the whole package fits neatly in the space where my giblets used to be."

Futurama (1999)

I'm kind of a harpoon snob, and let me say, that thing is gorgeous.

"I'm kind of a harpoon snob, and let me say, that thing is gorgeous."

Futurama (1999)

But do you really need chest artillery?

"But do you really need chest artillery?"

Futurama (1999)

It's not just a weapon.

"It's not just a weapon."

Futurama (1999)

It's the bureaucrat's best friend. Observe.

"It's the bureaucrat's best friend. Observe."

Futurama (1999)

Oh, Mark 7-G?

"Oh, Mark 7-G?"

Futurama (1999)

Would you mind fetching that carton from the top shelf?

"Would you mind fetching that carton from the top shelf?"

Futurama (1999)

Pitiful and sickening.

"Pitiful and sickening."

Futurama (1999)

Okay, little man,

"Okay, little man,"

Futurama (1999)

let a professional bureaucrat show you how it's done.

"let a professional bureaucrat show you how it's done."

Futurama (1999)

My best wasn't good enough.

"My best wasn't good enough."

Futurama (1999)

I'll need my personnel file, please.

"I'll need my personnel file, please."

Futurama (1999)

Welcome back, old friend. I missed you terribly.

"Welcome back, old friend. I missed you terribly."

Futurama (1999)

You do everything terribly. And I'm not your friend.

"You do everything terribly. And I'm not your friend."

Futurama (1999)

Good old Hermes.

"Good old Hermes."

Futurama (1999)

Oh, dear!

"Oh, dear!"

Futurama (1999)

I was leaning over the sink eating pureed clams

"I was leaning over the sink eating pureed clams"

Futurama (1999)

when my teeth fell in the disposal.

"when my teeth fell in the disposal."

Futurama (1999)

Scruffy, could you retrieve them?

"Scruffy, could you retrieve them?"

Futurama (1999)

'Taint a boiler nor a toilet. Pass.

"'Taint a boiler nor a toilet. Pass."

Futurama (1999)

I'll fetch my hand tools.

"I'll fetch my hand tools."

Futurama (1999)

extendo-arm implant, like mine?

"extendo-arm implant, like mine?"

Futurama (1999)

Oh, no. No more implants.

"Oh, no. No more implants."

Futurama (1999)

I don't want to end up a cold, emotionless machine like you.

"I don't want to end up a cold, emotionless machine like you."

Futurama (1999)

That's sweet, Hermes.

"That's sweet, Hermes."

Futurama (1999)

Maybe I should get an extendo-arm.

"Maybe I should get an extendo-arm."

Futurama (1999)

How long will it take to install an extendo-arm?

"How long will it take to install an extendo-arm?"

Futurama (1999)

I have golf game in half-hour, so

"I have golf game in half-hour, so"

Futurama (1999)

half-hour.

"half-hour."

Futurama (1999)

Thank you, Hermes.

"Thank you, Hermes."

Futurama (1999)

I don't know. It seems like a lot of trouble

"I don't know. It seems like a lot of trouble"

Futurama (1999)

to cut off your arm just to snake a drain.

"to cut off your arm just to snake a drain."

Futurama (1999)

It's not just a drain snake.

"It's not just a drain snake."

Futurama (1999)

lt comes with a set of interchangeable accessories.

"lt comes with a set of interchangeable accessories."

Futurama (1999)

Jackhammer,

"Jackhammer,"

Futurama (1999)

vegetable peeler, pipe-bending jig.

"vegetable peeler, pipe-bending jig."

Futurama (1999)

A machine that can bend? No way.

"A machine that can bend? No way."

Futurama (1999)

But, Hermes, old friend, didn't you say

"But, Hermes, old friend, didn't you say"

Futurama (1999)

you were through with the implants?

"you were through with the implants?"

Futurama (1999)

Oh, don't be such a spoilsport.

"Oh, don't be such a spoilsport."

Futurama (1999)

Such a mild insult.

"Such a mild insult."

Futurama (1999)

That's not my Hermes. Speaking of,

"That's not my Hermes. Speaking of,"

Futurama (1999)

what happened to your cut-off body parts, anyhow?

"what happened to your cut-off body parts, anyhow?"

Futurama (1999)

but they're starting to rot.

"but they're starting to rot."

Futurama (1999)

Then I'll just take them and, throw them away, shall I, why not?

"Then I'll just take them and, throw them away, shall I, why not?"

Futurama (1999)

So, friend, welcome to my home. I'm very proud of it.

"So, friend, welcome to my home. I'm very proud of it."

Futurama (1999)

But I want to hear what you think.

"But I want to hear what you think."

Futurama (1999)

"Oh, mon, I'm Hermes, and I think it stinks in here

""Oh, mon, I'm Hermes, and I think it stinks in here"

Futurama (1999)

"like a green snake, or something else that's Jamaican."

""like a green snake, or something else that's Jamaican.""

Futurama (1999)

Good one at my expense, Hermes.

"Good one at my expense, Hermes."

Futurama (1999)

Well, I must admit it's not bad.

"Well, I must admit it's not bad."

Futurama (1999)

And it will cut two or three hours a day off my cornrowing routine.

"And it will cut two or three hours a day off my cornrowing routine."

Futurama (1999)

Yes, our lives will never be the same.

"Yes, our lives will never be the same."

Futurama (1999)

Darn it! I'll be right back.

"Darn it! I'll be right back."

Futurama (1999)

Hermes, oh, you foolish man, what do you need a Cylon eye for?

"Hermes, oh, you foolish man, what do you need a Cylon eye for?"

Futurama (1999)

Now, calm down, dear.

"Now, calm down, dear."

Futurama (1999)

You know, you look even hotter in infrared.

"You know, you look even hotter in infrared."

Futurama (1999)

Husband, some things were not meant to be cylonned.

"Husband, some things were not meant to be cylonned."

Futurama (1999)

Now, you must promise me you won't be getting any more upgrades.

"Now, you must promise me you won't be getting any more upgrades."

Futurama (1999)

I promise.

"I promise."

Futurama (1999)

Wow.

"Wow."

Futurama (1999)

Nice shiny metal ass, Hermes.

"Nice shiny metal ass, Hermes."

Futurama (1999)

But. . .

"But. . ."

Futurama (1999)

So, with all these implants, what exactly

"So, with all these implants, what exactly"

Futurama (1999)

is the difference between you and a robot?

"is the difference between you and a robot?"

Futurama (1999)

I still have one thing no robot shall ever have.

"I still have one thing no robot shall ever have."

Futurama (1999)

Yes, a big, smart brain.

"Yes, a big, smart brain."

Futurama (1999)

Not like dum-dum Zoidberg, right, Hermes? Right?

"Not like dum-dum Zoidberg, right, Hermes? Right?"

Futurama (1999)

Mr. Conrad, did you remember to save the trimmings for me?

"Mr. Conrad, did you remember to save the trimmings for me?"

Futurama (1999)

Yes, yes, Doctor. Right here.

"Yes, yes, Doctor. Right here."

Futurama (1999)

Wait. You're not eating my discarded flesh, are you?

"Wait. You're not eating my discarded flesh, are you?"

Futurama (1999)

How could you even ask such a thing?

"How could you even ask such a thing?"

Futurama (1999)

Of course I tried eating you, but your flesh was too spicy.

"Of course I tried eating you, but your flesh was too spicy."

Futurama (1999)

Thanks to years of LaBarbara's curried goat, no doubt.

"Thanks to years of LaBarbara's curried goat, no doubt."

Futurama (1999)

Mecha-Hermes has spoken !

"Mecha-Hermes has spoken !"

Futurama (1999)

Mecha-Hermes still wants to know

"Mecha-Hermes still wants to know"

Futurama (1999)

what you're doing with his pieces.

"what you're doing with his pieces."

Futurama (1999)

Something wonderful.

"Something wonderful."

Futurama (1999)

Hello. Hello.

"Hello. Hello."

Futurama (1999)

So, little Hermes, did you hear I've taken up running?

"So, little Hermes, did you hear I've taken up running?"

Futurama (1999)

"Yeah, from restaurant to restaurant. Ho-ho, mon.

""Yeah, from restaurant to restaurant. Ho-ho, mon."

Futurama (1999)

"Seriously, though, have you lost weight?"

""Seriously, though, have you lost weight?""

Futurama (1999)

Oh, boy. That was quite a zinger, old friend.

"Oh, boy. That was quite a zinger, old friend."

Futurama (1999)

"I'm not your friend.

""I'm not your friend."

Futurama (1999)

"I'm out of here the second you let go of my bowels."

""I'm out of here the second you let go of my bowels.""

Futurama (1999)

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. I'll be here all week.

"Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. I'll be here all week."

Futurama (1999)

"You've been warned, people."

""You've been warned, people.""

Futurama (1999)

He's good.

"He's good."

Futurama (1999)

I can only see one of his four mouth tendrils moving.

"I can only see one of his four mouth tendrils moving."

Futurama (1999)

"So, Mr. Conrad, did you enjoy the show?"

""So, Mr. Conrad, did you enjoy the show?""

Futurama (1999)

Alas, no.

"Alas, no."

Futurama (1999)

Seeing what I once was filled me with regret.

"Seeing what I once was filled me with regret."

Futurama (1999)

Regret that I still have one human part.

"Regret that I still have one human part."

Futurama (1999)

That meat puppet disgusts me. It's time for the ultimate upgrade.

"That meat puppet disgusts me. It's time for the ultimate upgrade."

Futurama (1999)

But the only thing you haven't upgraded is your brain.

"But the only thing you haven't upgraded is your brain."

Futurama (1999)

Oops.

"Oops."

Futurama (1999)

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