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Clips from Flight of the Conchords - A New Cup (S02E02)

"they were a musical embarrassment."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Two stars." - Two stars?"
Flight of the Conchords
"- Two stars. - You can't give us two stars, Murray."
Flight of the Conchords
"Two out of five stars?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Well, I wish it was,"
Flight of the Conchords
"but it's out of 100."
Flight of the Conchords
"Hmm."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Oh, I thought it was out of five. - Don't tell people that."
Flight of the Conchords
"Say it's out of five."
Flight of the Conchords
"Can we use the emergency band fund to get my guitar back?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Well, that's..."
Flight of the Conchords
"that's actually tied up in an investment at the moment."
Flight of the Conchords
"What's this investment?"
Flight of the Conchords
"It's a friend of mine from nigeria."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Nigel soladu. - When did you go to nigeria?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Well, I didn't go. That's the best bit."
Flight of the Conchords
"He just randomly send me an internet letter"
Flight of the Conchords
"offering me a business opportunity and I went with it."
Flight of the Conchords
"plus 1,000% interest"
Flight of the Conchords
"and a share of his family fortunes."
Flight of the Conchords
"- It's a scam. - It is not a scam."
Flight of the Conchords
"Why would someone want to scam me, Jemaine,"
Flight of the Conchords
"and on the internet service,"
Flight of the Conchords
"Oh you want a couple of biscuits, do you?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Put how many biscuits you want, your name,"
Flight of the Conchords
"and you'll have to bring in some I.D."
Flight of the Conchords
"That gets sent back to wellington."
Flight of the Conchords
"We'll have your biscuits by Tuesday."
Flight of the Conchords
"Who's gonna want to buy one of those, Bret?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Mainly people who need to drink from far away."
Flight of the Conchords
"Superstraws!"
Flight of the Conchords
"- Well, hello, guys. - Hey, mel."
Flight of the Conchords
"I will have a superstraw, please."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Awesome. - Here we go."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Thank you. - Hey, great gig the other night."
Flight of the Conchords
"I noticed, Bret, you didn't have a guitar."
Flight of the Conchords
"Is that something that you forgot?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Or are you trying it out"
Flight of the Conchords
"or is that just something I'll have to get used to?"
Flight of the Conchords
"I sold it to get some money."
Flight of the Conchords
"Wow, that's so romantic..."
Flight of the Conchords
"two struggling musicians living in poverty"
Flight of the Conchords
"and despair, selling their instruments."
Flight of the Conchords
"All our utilities were cut off because Bret bought a cup."
Flight of the Conchords
"Oh, well, I could give you guys some money."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Yeah? - Thanks, mel."
Flight of the Conchords
"I mean, you would have to earn it, of course."
Flight of the Conchords
"I mean, I wouldn't insult you by giving you charity."
Flight of the Conchords
"What do we have to do?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Do you guys..."
Flight of the Conchords
"do massage?"
Flight of the Conchords
"- Bret does. - No."
Flight of the Conchords
"- I don't. You do. - Bret does."
Flight of the Conchords
"- I don't, but Bret does. - He does."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Jemaine's the one for that. - Bret always does that."
Flight of the Conchords
"Bret's a real good masseuse."
Flight of the Conchords
"Okay then. Well, Bret,"
Flight of the Conchords
"I will see you at my place at 4:30?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Huh?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Should I lay down?"
Flight of the Conchords
"No no, this is good."
Flight of the Conchords
"Maybe I should take off some clothes, so you could..."
Flight of the Conchords
"no no, that's good."
Flight of the Conchords
"Whoo! Hey, Bret, when does the massage start?"
Flight of the Conchords
"When do you touch me?"
Flight of the Conchords
"I'm just doing it very gently"
Flight of the Conchords
"I can't really feel it. I wanna feel it."
Flight of the Conchords
"I'm trying to..."
Flight of the Conchords
"- just stay in your seat. - Okay, all right."
Flight of the Conchords
"Are you sure Doug's gonna be okay with this?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Yeah, it's just a massage. Doug will be fine with it."
Flight of the Conchords
"Yeah, I'm fine with it."
Flight of the Conchords
"Unless I start feeling something,"
Flight of the Conchords
"I guess I'm not gonna be able to pay you $30."
Flight of the Conchords
"I'll do it."
Flight of the Conchords
"Oh yeah. Wow."
Flight of the Conchords
"Oh, you are good at this."
Flight of the Conchords
"You're like a samurai, like a massage samurai."
Flight of the Conchords
"I'm just patting her."
Flight of the Conchords
"Oh, I feel like I've hired a gigolo."
Flight of the Conchords
"I mean, I would, I would, but I wouldn't pay you."
Flight of the Conchords
"I would. I would pay you so much money."
Flight of the Conchords
"I'm just kidding. That's not how I am."
Flight of the Conchords
"That's not what I'm about."
Flight of the Conchords
"I'm joking. I'm not."
Flight of the Conchords
"Oh wow."
Flight of the Conchords
"Bret, you know how you told me you were good at sex?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Right, yeah. Okay."
Flight of the Conchords
"Well, you were lying then."
Flight of the Conchords
"- I was exaggerating a little bit. - Lying."
Flight of the Conchords
"- No, exaggerating. - Well, maybe mel's right."
Flight of the Conchords
"Maybe we could be prostitutes."
Flight of the Conchords
"It is not degrading."
Flight of the Conchords
"It is not degrading."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Have you seen "pretty woman"? - No."
Flight of the Conchords
"who gets to go out with a "pretty woman" Julia roberts"
Flight of the Conchords
"who pays him a lot of money."
Flight of the Conchords
"Do you think Julia roberts is a pretty woman?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Yes."
Flight of the Conchords
"Well, imagine getting to have sex with women"
Flight of the Conchords
"similar to Julia roberts and getting paid for it."
Flight of the Conchords
"Jemaine, I don't think we're gonna get sex and get paid."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Why not? - 'Cause we never get sex or get paid."
Flight of the Conchords
"Bret, the ladies go crazy for my sugarlumps."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Your what? - Check it out."
Flight of the Conchords
"All the ladies are just checking out my sugarlumps."
Flight of the Conchords
"♪ let me tell you ♪"
Flight of the Conchords
"♪ I see you girls checking out my trunks ♪"
Flight of the Conchords
"♪ I see you girls looking at my junk then checking out my rump ♪"
Flight of the Conchords
"♪ then back to my sugarlumps ♪"
Flight of the Conchords
"♪ when I shake it, I shake it all up ♪"
Flight of the Conchords
"♪ you probably think that my pants have the mumps ♪"
Flight of the Conchords
"♪ it's just my sugarlumps, bump-ba-bumps ♪"
Flight of the Conchords
"♪ they look so good, that's why I keep 'em in the front ♪"
Flight of the Conchords
"♪ all the ladies checking out ♪"
Flight of the Conchords
"- ♪ sweet sugarlumps ♪ - ♪ they drive the ladies crazy ♪"
Flight of the Conchords
"♪ all these bitches checking out my britches ♪"
Flight of the Conchords
"♪ put 'em in a trance when I wear track pants ♪"
Flight of the Conchords
"♪ my dungarees make them hunger-ees ♪"
Flight of the Conchords
"♪ they're over the moon when I don pantaloons ♪"
Flight of the Conchords
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