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Clips from Silicon Valley (2014) - Hooli-Con (S04E04)

"Richard: Just think about it."
Silicon Valley (2014)
"are gonna stream through that building."
Silicon Valley (2014)
"We suck at it."
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"I'm sorry. You're... you're talking about sneaking our code"
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"No. No, no, no. Think of it more as, um,"
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"Even if we get our code into that app and onto all those phones,"
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"people are just gonna delete the app as soon as the conference is over."
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"- (phones beep) - Uh, Hipstamatic."
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"- NipAlert? - McCain/Palin."
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"- (phone clicks) - All right, this works in theory,"
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"I wonder where we can find someone like that."
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"Anyway, how's all this stuff going?"
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"I am, but the terms of my plea agreement"
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"the Hooli app servers, mess with an app,"
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"and push it out over a venue's free Wi-Fi..."
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"It's a trick question, right?"
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"Because you wouldn't hack the app server."
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"but I think I found a way to get online."
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"- No. - There's a computer in the library"
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"Look, we set up a bunch of these at Hoolicon."
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"So, they log onto our boxes"
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"and our boxes log onto the real Wi-Fi?"
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"- Exactly. - So, we show them a fake landing page,"
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"No, Gilf. Last night, when I was sitting out there"
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"This epiphany."
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"That was addressed to me."
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"You're broke. How the fuck are you gonna pay for that?"
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"Just give whatever you are comfortable with."
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"Well, it seems the smallest of us has the biggest heart."
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"You fly one way."
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"Don't you need a visa to go to China?"
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"He's very corrupt."
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"just not for you guys."
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"I mean, it's all for the greater good, is it not?"
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"disgraced, friendless, and engorged with the blood of a youthful charlatan."
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"any of that."
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"You're always telling me how you spent your entire childhood"
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"- Uncle Jerry's game. - Yeah, that."
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"Okay, guys, how we looking?"
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"- One second. - Almost done."
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"All right, all of our swag is in the car,"
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"Obviously, I don't care to make a big deal out of it,"
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"of times where I've profoundly impacted your life."
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"Four hours early."
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"(chuckles) Gentlemen."
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"♪ ♪"
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"Dinesh (quietly): That made me nervous, sneaking all that shit in."
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"Gilfoyle: Why? We're bringing tech to a tech convention."
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"♪ ♪"
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"When did Pied Piper get added to the vendor list?"
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"Jared: Oh no, that can't be."
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"with proximity to high-traffic corridor."
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"what the bathroom situation's like?"
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"Okay."
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"Start with high-traffic areas, so that means entrances."
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"Whoa. Winnie."
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"- Hey. - Hello. Hi."
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"- That whole spaces-tab thing was... - Kind of petty?"
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"I'm here helping my friend launch his new company."
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"But, um, boyfriend, uh-oh."
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"- Awkward. (chuckles) - Why?"
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"Nothing. It's not. It's actually... it's cool."
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"Hey, Joel? Come over and meet Richard."
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"- Joel, Richard. - Not needed. Hey."
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"I realized I had the luxury to invest in something I believe in."
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"- Mmm. - Helping humanity thrive."
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"- Good seeing you. - Not if I see you first."
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"♪ ♪"
Silicon Valley (2014)
"Sorry."
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"(echoes) Jian-Yang!"
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"It would make me very happy"
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"to pour boiling metal down Keenan Feldspar's asshole."
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"Flip and pour."
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"He's gonna run, and then you're slowly chasing him,"
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"trying to not spill your vat of boiling metal."
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"- Anybody looking? - Dinesh: No, just go."
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"What's taking you so long? Hurry up!"
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"What are you boys up to?"
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"All right? I go through my slides. Click, click, click."
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"- Uh, Terry? - Terry (on P.A.): Yeah?"
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"so I started watching them and noticed some suspicious behavior."
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"the convention floor with Yagi antennas, which are..."
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"I had to rebuild the entire operating system"
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"(whispers) Richard, six Pineapples up, six to go."
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"Yeah, actually. (clears throat) Very wrong."
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"PeaceFare is a game."
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"Give virtual coins to virtual homeless people."
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"Shit. This could work."
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"Yeah, you can do it on your phone in your underwear."
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"Just... plant the rest of the Pineapples, please."
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"Uh, end of the row, 78 paces to the right."
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"Hey, let's take some without my shoes, yeah? Perfect."
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"Joel: Can you... And these are photos of irrigation,"
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"Joel: Poverty and penthos."
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"Yeah, right. Have fun in jail, you moron."
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"I'm letting everyone know you might want to reset your critical passwords,"
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"because we've been hacked."
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"Someone changed my PeaceFare screensaver..."
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"and I know it wasn't anyone on my team,"
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"♪ ♪"
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"Bingo. We've got hostiles."
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"- and just snubbed Keenan Feldspar. - Us."
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"Okay? You've gotta go pull all the Pineapples."
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"- Go. Just go. Please. - (pounds table)"
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"Oh."
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"You fucked us, Keenan."
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"and then you pulled it right out from under us."
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"You cost me, personally, a shit-ton of money."
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"♪ ♪"
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"(beeping)"
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"Either we have enough or we don't."
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"- Oh no. - No, it's fine."
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"When the fuck were you gonna tell us?"
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"I-I... I don't know what. Dinesh, you need to move."
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"Well, not until I find out if you know what."
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"and now they're the ones pulling up all the Pineapples."
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"You acted like you wanted to take Keenan Feldspar's offer."
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"Yeah, but you didn't know that when you sent him the e-mail, did you?"
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"Dinesh, you need to move. I mean, come on."
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"- You need to go. Go. Go. - Man: Gentlemen."
Silicon Valley (2014)
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