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Clips from Scrubs - Our Thanks (S09E09)

"You don't want to be a surgeon, Cole, okay?"
Scrubs
"Dr. Turk is right. You'd hate it."
Scrubs
"All the blood and guts, it's like an amazing horror movie."
Scrubs
"I love horror movies."
Scrubs
"Sure, but you'd have to wear a mask like a ninja."
Scrubs
"And who wants to do that?"
Scrubs
"Last Halloween, I was a slutty ninja."
Scrubs
"Oh! This is going to be awesome!"
Scrubs
"than I've ever been about anything, ever."
Scrubs
"Okay, I gotta go update my Facebook status,"
Scrubs
"but then I'm going to come back and I'm going to start shadowing you,"
Scrubs
"(LAUGHING)"
Scrubs
"- You're happy, aren't you? - I don't know about happy,"
Scrubs
"but darn it all, I feel alive for the first time,"
Scrubs
"and that's nice, so nice."
Scrubs
"(THEME SONG PLAYING)"
Scrubs
"All right, I am so excited to see what we've all written about Ben."
Scrubs
"Pass them up."
Scrubs
"Really? Nothing?"
Scrubs
"Thank you, Drew."
Scrubs
"This is a receipt for a pair of pants."
Scrubs
"Yeah. Well, I didn't want to leave you hanging."
Scrubs
"And I'm going to need that back."
Scrubs
"I'm probably going to return those pants."
Scrubs
"Guys, we've gotta come up with something good."
Scrubs
"(DRUM BEATING RHYTHMICALLY)"
Scrubs
"They think they're so bad-ass just 'cause Ron had a vestigial tail"
Scrubs
"and spinal meningitis."
Scrubs
"Ben could have had that tail. He's just not a show-off like Ron."
Scrubs
"Cole, you're all up under me. You need to back up, all right?"
Scrubs
"I mean, you smell great,"
Scrubs
"but I don't think I should know that about you."
Scrubs
"Yeah, no, I'm sorry, Dr. T."
Scrubs
"It's just I'm so psyched about this surgery thing."
Scrubs
"I already know what I'm going to call my surgical practice, "Cole Cutz.""
Scrubs
"- With a "Z"? - That's right."
Scrubs
"Man, you gotta knock before you enter Cole's brain."
Scrubs
"Okay. Well, why don't you go upstairs and get me some stuff?"
Scrubs
"- Yeah, yeah. What kind of stuff? - Everything that's up there."
Scrubs
"- Done. - All right."
Scrubs
"Don't worry about Cole, all right? He never sticks with anything."
Scrubs
"He said he was going to learn a new bone in the body every day,"
Scrubs
"until he figured out that the penis wasn't actually one of them and quit."
Scrubs
"Hmm."
Scrubs
"Just be tough on him. He'll bail."
Scrubs
"So, you want to be a surgeon, huh?"
Scrubs
"Well, then you need to understand that it's not about glamour or money"
Scrubs
"or even making a great mix CD for the OR."
Scrubs
"Sometimes you have to stand totally still"
Scrubs
"and stay completely lasered in,"
Scrubs
"even if it means just holding this clamp because this clamp right here,"
Scrubs
"this clamp could keep someone alive."
Scrubs
"- You think you can handle it? - I'll stay here as long as it takes."
Scrubs
"Just hold the damn clamp."
Scrubs
"DREW: There you are. Can you believe this?"
Scrubs
"Apparently, there was water damage in the wall or something."
Scrubs
"Yeah, I heard about that."
Scrubs
"Some guy upstairs cracks his head open in the shower,"
Scrubs
"lies there for four hours, and we gotta pay the price."
Scrubs
"You think they'll be able to fix it?"
Scrubs
"It could be kind of cool, right?"
Scrubs
"I mean, instead of my crappy room and your crappy room,"
Scrubs
"we could have one giant crappy suite."
Scrubs
"Yeah."
Scrubs
"Yeah, that's exactly what it'd be like."
Scrubs
"Exactly. Exactly like that."
Scrubs
"Exactly."
Scrubs
"LUCY: I was really excited"
Scrubs
"because I'd done a bunch of research about Ben's life,"
Scrubs
"and I couldn't wait to share it with the group."
Scrubs
"Cole, did you know Ben was president"
Scrubs
"for the mid-Atlantic region from 1973 to 1976?"
Scrubs
"Woman! Can't you see I'm in surgery?"
Scrubs
"Look, I'm sorry, I don't have time for this."
Scrubs
"Go bother Drew."
Scrubs
"Okay, now, I know you're not excited about Ben,"
Scrubs
"but would it change things at all"
Scrubs
"if I told you that he had a time-share in Myrtle Beach?"
Scrubs
"Wow! So, he got to spend two weeks a year, one of them off-peak,"
Scrubs
"in South Carolina's third most popular vacation destination?"
Scrubs
"- Game-changer. - DENISE: Heads up."
Scrubs
"Oh."
Scrubs
"So, you're bringing some of your stuff in. Good."
Scrubs
"Yeah, I'm just going to keep this on your bed for a while"
Scrubs
"since we always sleep in mine anyway."
Scrubs
"And until they fix the hole, I figure this area could kind of be like"
Scrubs
"on top of my hockey equipment."
Scrubs
"God, I am liking this."
Scrubs
"- Yeah. Yeah, me, too. - I'll be back in a jiff."
Scrubs
"Okay."
Scrubs
"I don't like this at all. I like things clean and simple."
Scrubs
"Everything I own is in that box."
Scrubs
"A hat, some ramen and a car battery? Don't you have personal things?"
Scrubs
"Had that car battery a long time."
Scrubs
"Cole, I totally forgot about you. Have you been standing here all day?"
Scrubs
"I don't know. I can't read old-people clocks."
Scrubs
"And you haven't moved once, not even to pee?"
Scrubs
"Let a little out, let it dry. Little out, let it dry."
Scrubs
"Didn't I say that he has what it takes to be a surgeon?"
Scrubs
"Beyond the blind sense of entitlement and complete lack of human empathy,"
Scrubs
"there's the empty-headed concentration,"
Scrubs
"That's awe-inspiring stuff."
Scrubs
"- So, let's go open a brother up. - First of all, why it gotta be a brother?"
Scrubs
"And second of all, a surgeon has to have a delicate touch and steady hand."
Scrubs
"and remove the fortune from this cookie without breaking it."
Scrubs
"I can do that. Check out these brows."
Scrubs
"I know my way around a pair of tweezies."
Scrubs
"Is it bright? Is it bright? Is it too bright?"
Scrubs
"Lots of distractions in surgery. Blood everywhere."
Scrubs
"And out of nowhere, there could come a noise"
Scrubs
"to just break your concentration."
Scrubs
"(DRUM BEATING)"
Scrubs
"A drum line in the OR? What?"
Scrubs
"- Done. - Hmm?"
Scrubs
"Somebody snare me."
Scrubs
"(DRUM BEATING)"
Scrubs
"TURK: I want you to imagine these bears were in a horrible accident,"
Scrubs
"like a bus crash."
Scrubs
"And before you ask, no, I don't know why the bears were on a bus."
Scrubs
"Anyway, all you need to do is sew one of these bad boys up before me,"
Scrubs
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